Crying at random moments

[NE21 worrier]

This is a bit of a cry for help, I think.

Well, I am literally crying at the moment in my room as my eye hasn't stopped flinching all day and I can't bear to eat anything because I'm just too upset. I guess I'm feeling really stressed - I think it's about work as I am meant to be going on the day shift from 1st December - but I cannot be sure as I've just been feeling really rubbish recently about lots of things. It feels as if a depression has come sweeping in.

I'm drinking way too much at the moment and I can't remember the last time I was happy as I keep breaking down to cry at seemingly random moments.

:sad:

[Carnation]

I know how you feel NE21 Worrier. Unfortunately alcohol makes Anxiety worse and can make you feel very emotional. And, it's the little things that set you off. It's easy to say; 'try not to worry', because I must one of the world's worst worriers. But, you can look for a positive in every scenario. Crying can actually be quite good for releasing pent up sadness and stress, so don't fight it, let it go. I always feel better after a good cry and then things don't seem so bad after. Depression can be difficult to handle, I have spent many an hour or even days just staring in to space, but it does pass and you are best not to fight it. It's a way the Mind repairing itself and use those periods as a relaxing time. Once it eventually passes, you do regain your energy and motivation. Look for ways to use these difficult times. If you are feeling sad, then maybe listen to some music or watch a good film. And if you are feeling depressed, sometimes a casual long walk helps to clear the Mind. Keep strong. :)

[Annie0904]

Good advise from Carnation so not a lot I can add to it apart from sending hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[NE21 worrier]

OK, physical symptoms first: my eye is still twitching, my stomach is still churning and my chest is still tight. I had a nightmare about having a panic attack on a open stairwell where I couldn't or didn't want to go any higher (at least without any assistance). I have soaked the bed in sweat.

Strangely enough, I made it to the top of the stairs of my own accord eventually when no one seemed to want to help. Perhaps there is a subconscious lesson in there. I can make it however difficult it seems - I am stronger than I think. But, although I've just typed that, at the moment I am struggling genuinely to believe it (as to be expected when you're going through a storm).

I've been referred for CBT twice in the past and spent six months on 50mg Sertraline in 2013 before taking myself off them. I took 2x 2mg diazepam to assist sleep last night (it worked!) but obviously I don't want to be reliant on that. I work part-time evenings at the moment but I am meant to be going onto full-time days from 01-December. This is what is driving my stress at the moment, I think.

I don't know what to do about days (I've always thought I wanted to go onto that shift) but I think I'm going to need a bit of professional help as I can't stand being this wound up/wired permanently.

[Annie0904]

This sounds like anticipatory anxiety again! So you are starting day shift on dec 1st and worried about how you will cope. Think of the positives, you will have your evenings free which isn't a bad thing especially now that we have the dark, cold, icy nights ahead of us. What if you find you actually enjoy the day shift? Try to visualise yourself at work, chatting happily to your colleagues and enjoying it. Late afternoon you leave and head off home to spend a nice relaxing evening. Once your first week is over you will wonder what you worried about.

[NE21 worrier]

UPDATE Trying to be a bit more optimistic here:

Contrary to my earlier post, I've had a reasonable day so far. I've been determined to eat better, written a piece for my blog, and been out for a drive to town where I walked around the local shops in the crisp, fresh air. I picked up my new library card as I may try and get more involved with the place once my evenings become free.

Most of all, though, I've realised that I could just have a bout of the good ol' common cold and the woozy head pressure, blocked up nose, dodgy stomach and hot flushes could all be attributed to this. No doubt there is some anxiety mixed in (the eye flickering and mind chatter tells me this) and it has made me feel down and as if everything is a bit of a struggle - but perhaps, overall, it really is no more than this.

Just going to have look after myself for the next few days, and hope it goes away. All things will pass including this.

[Annie0904]

:yesyes:

[gregcool]

:hugs:

[NE21 worrier]

Thanks Annie and Greg.

I've been to work and there was more of the team in as compared to last week so the shift didn't go too badly. I still feel a bit rotten - but I don't think there's much of an anxiety factor in it anymore. Just under the weather...

[Annie0904]

Get well soon to both of us :)