Don't know how to handle my feelings

[Pineapplepie]

Hi

I'm new here so please bare with me.

I don't even know where to begin. I guess I should start by explaining that I had a mental health problem 5 years ago. An eating disorder, which I successfully recovered from with the help of counsellors, psychiatrists and a specialist unit.

But I've now determined that it's returning, though with anxiety disorder which I hadn't experienced before. Now I feel I'm on meltdown.


I am mum to a 10 month old, live with my fiancé and I work in the travel industry.
This year has been a toughie, due to money issues and work pressures. I feel it's all been far too much unjust bad luck. And although I coped with it all reasonably well, I think it's all hit me now.
I have now panic episodes. Not panic attacks. But a horrible manic on edge feeling. Like something bad is happening. I feel aloof and very sad. It started out just feeling this way now and again. I've felt like this 3 days in a row now. It's affecting my relationship with food and old habits are returning.

my Fiancée and Mother are aware of my state of mind at the minute. I am also on medication and under the care of my GP. I have an assessment appointment with the psychology Unit in a couple of weeks.

But I'm finding the anxiety hard to deal with. I'm terrified of everything. To me there's never a small problem but a massive issue.
These things I fret over are not life or death. But they torment me to the point I can't eat or sleep. I constantly fidget and wiggle around. I obsess over everything and can't relax.

I'm not sure really why I'm posting this as I don't expect answers to my problems.

I'd just like to know I'm not alone

Thanks

[MrAndy]

all your signs and feelings are anxiety related ,you can overcome this with the right attitude help and support.It sounds like you are talking to your doctor and family ,this is good.Have you read Paul Davids book ? http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/the_book.htmlthis really helped me make sense of things.Maybe you need to slow down a bit and set yourself small goals,I know how hard work it can be bringing up a small child and holding down a job
Posting your thoughts is also good so you can get it off your chest,you will find find plently of help and support on here
Good luck

[Pineapplepie]

Thanks for your quick reply Andy.

No I haven't heard of this book but will definitely look into it
I haven't actually thought about any literature that could help.

I'm trying my very best to try and take a step back. I'm currently signed off work sick which makes me very shameful and even more up tight but I don't think I could handle the pressure of that right now.

I've took your advice and put the kettle on....

[MrAndy]

dont feel shameful about work,I used to beat myself up about being signed off for anxiety but at the end of the day its an illness like any other you would take time off for.Go back when your feeling better,it will always be there for you.I stepped down from being a manager to relieve the stress and it really helped,once i had paid tax the salary decrease was hardly noticeable
enjoy your cuppa !