Panic Attacks and Agoraphobia at 17

[monty]

Hi everyone, I haven't been on here for a while cos my computer is playing up but hope you all had a good xmas and new year.

Just needed an outlet for some of my thoughts and feelings about having panic and agoraphobia during the years when I should be going out having fun.

For anyone who doesn't know I've had PAs for 4 years and now spend much of my time at home. I am not housebound and do go out as much as I can, usually with my mum, and am trying to 'desensitize' myself, but I have had a lot of setbacks and problems.

I hardly see my friends anymore because they're busy going to parties and doing college work (so we don't have much in common anymore either). Despite my constant worrying and stress, I still feel lonely and would really like to enjoy some form of a normal life. I mean how am I ever going to meet anyone, and even if I did, who would want to date someone who can hardly leave the house.

I've pretty much given up hope on meeting a boyfriend until I get better, but I don't know how long that will take and the thought of lonliness for another 4 years makes me miserable.

I welcome replies from anyone, and especially from someone of similar age who is coping with anxiety too. Thanks for reading.

Lucy -x-

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure.
-Marianne Williamson

[mynameis]

Hi Lucy,

Sorry to hear what you're going through, especially at such a young age. Please don't pressure yourself into thinking that you have to be out somewhere or have to meet someone. I have friends at work who stay at home or stay single through choice. You may want to socialise more & meet a partner, but there's plenty of forums & groups on the internet where you can chat to people in a similar position as yourself.

To go outdoors more, just set yourself a time or a distance & then gently increase it. Also, although you've been suffering for 4 years, your first panic attack happened in seconds. Part of the subsequent suffering of further panic attacks is actually anticipating the next one. There might not be a next one.

It's easy for me to say to think positively, but your life could change for the better in the blink of an eye. I hope you feel better soon & remember, you will never be alone as long as you have family & people like us who visit this great site.

[mirry]

you will probally find that you will meet a very special person, because of your problems.There are some lovely kind people about , I wish you all the best x

mirryx

[hopeandstrength]

Hey Monty,

Ok I may be a bit older than you but I started suffering from panic attackes at the age of 18 shortly after my father died. At the time I didnt know what they were, and I think the reason my anxiety got worse was because I didnt understand. I think with understanding comes some comfort, so at least you have that on your side. Like mynameis said, the real demon is the anticipation of the fear. Have you been to see anyone about this ie. a counsellor or your doctor?

Angel xx

[andy01]

hi monty
sorry again to hear of your problems so young and although i am older i have the same problem and think i would run a mile if a girl was to show the slightest interest in me. lol
but you have to believe that this is only temporary and it will make you a stronger,better person and some lucky fella will benefit from your understanding of life and people.
and it could be very soon, you never know

[Rennie1989]

Ironic! I'm 17 and my first Panic Attack was when I was 14 (Ok, not so ironic). It is hard when you are a teenager because you can't go out fearing that you could have a Panic Attack and make a fool of yourself.

If you ever want to talk then I am a PM away ^_^

AKA Scooter Girl

[monty]

Thanks to everyone for your lovely replies.

I am doing all that I can manage to get better (have tried the usual- counsellor, diest change, acupunture, hypnotherapy, meds, CBT) but nothing has had a significant effect as yet.

Anyway, I hope those of you who said I may meet someone soon are right and thanks again for your advice and understanding.

Lucy -x-

Jadey- weird that we're so similar- will PM you in a minute.

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure.
-Marianne Williamson

[Lottie32]

Hi Lucy

My name is Charlie and I'm loads older than you - nearly 20 years infact!

However, I first started to be aware I wasn't "normal" when I was in my early teens and felt "funny" about doing things. I battled on, going to school and sixth form, and even had a job in the local Little Chef (god that dates me). On the outside, I seemed to be doing ok, but I really struggled with "doing" anything. My friends were going out to gigs, travelling from where we live in the midlands to Manchester, going abroad for holidays, and i just couldn't. It was hard enough going to sixth form parties and I had to do that cos I used to organise them!

It caused loads of trouble at home, and my mum and dad just thought i was being a typical stroppy teenager, or if I said I felt funny, told me to take a deep breath and get on with it. They weren't unsympathetic, they just lacked understanding, and I think my dad was frightened that I had a problem, and if he could "push" me out of it, then I would be ok.

Sadly, it didn't work and I really got bad after my A levels, so much so that I ended up not taking my place at Uni.

I did several college courses, and a variety of jobs, and eventually things seemed to sort themselves out. Finally I was free and able to do lots of things I'd put off for years - I used to have horses, and travelled the country, going to big shows, went to loads of gigs, and was always popping off to see friends for the weekend.

I'd sort of forgotten that I had been so bad. Then several things happened, that were all quite major, and pretty traumatic, and unfortunately, within a short space of each other. And everything came flooding back about a million times worse.

I was lost, and didn't have any skills to cope, and hadn't got a clue what to do. The only difference was that now I was older, and more capable of making decisions for myself.

I did lots of research and loads of surfing the net, and read everything I could on GAD. Then I took myself off to the doctors and asked for GP and some help to get me through the here and now! I came away with some medication and a referal. Whilst I was waiting for the appointment, I came across this website and couldn't believe that there was a whole world of people out there who knew what it felt like!!!!

I soon realised that there wasn't a magic cure and that any recovery was going to take some hard work on my part, and time!

I tried most things that were suggested, and still try to eat properly, still take the vitamin and mineral supplements, and watch my sleeping/exercising etc.

The people I met on the site were so supportive, and everybody was so friendly, I soon started to feel a bit better.

Then I received my referral for CBT, and met Amanda my therapist, who was just truly great.

Several years later, I'm "cured". I've stopped taking my medication, have been discharged from CBT and things are starting to work out for me.

I just want you to know that you are doing everything right. My recovery seems to have taken half my life on and off and I feel sometimes that I have missed out (but have become a stronger person as a result). I am confident that I have now got firmly engrained the skills that can prevent a relapse and feel in control.

Please stick with it. You are lucky, you have had the right help and support early on (I went nearly 20 years without any help, hence a longer recovery period as my stupid brain had had plenty of time to learn how to be bad for a long time!)

Please believe me when I say that you are doing everything absoulutely right, and that a little more time and work will soon see you starting to feel better. By taking your time, you are much much less likely to have a relapse and completely re-gain control over your life.

I hope that this doesn't sound too much like a lecture - I wish I had access to the resources I do now when I was your age.

Wishing you a great new year, and hope that things start to work out for you very soon

Charlie x

(p.s. Take it from me, boyfriends aren't all they are cracke

[bb01234]

monty, congratulations on attempting to do something now rather than wait for years to deal with this.

You mentioned you have been down a variety of routes 'have tried the usual- counsellor, diest change, acupunture, hypnotherapy, meds, CBT' . These are all approaches that some people have sometimes found useful, but you haven't had a positive result with any of them so I would ask: what is it that you are looking for that they didn't provide?

Sometimes people will continue to look for an answer in the wrong place so they don't have to acknowledge what the actual reason for something is. Could this be you?

And just another thought from a different angle, what's the benefit to you of your agoraphobia?

Your u/c mind has given you this for a reason and you might well find there is useful knowledge at the end of this question.

regards
Brian

[sazzy]

hey, im 18 and suffer from pa, none of my mates understand and kind of leave me alone so i just posting this to wish u good luck n strength monty

[Nibbles]

Hi Monty,

I am 23 and have suffered from a mixture of agoraphobia, social phobia, and panic attacks for about 4 years. I have one true friend who I met at uni but I don't see him much now because we live in different parts of the country. Socialising is difficult for me and I also think 'who would want to go out with me' and 'I'm wasting a time of my life I should be enjoying'. Like you I am not housebound but find certain situations difficult. I enjoy going walking with my camera but struggle with meals out, the cinema, crowded places, and work at the moment.

Having said all that I had been doing a lot better for the last couple of years or so. What helped me was tackling my problems in small steps to build up my confidence. When I left uni I was unemployed so first I got into voluntary work. I then got a few shifts paid work and I now work on Saturdays and when my work need cover. I am struggling quite a lot at the moment which is why I'm here and like me I think you'll find this site really useful.

The point I want to make is that things do get better. I am in a bad patch at the moment but I know I was making progress before and like to believe I will again. I don't know what triggered recovery for me but that itself shows that things can suddenly start to get better.

Anyway enough waffle from me lol If you ever want to PM me feel free and I bob into the chat room in the evenings too.

Take care,

Mike