.Poppy.
26-11-14, 19:55
Ugh, I thought I was over this. I haven't had issues with health anxiety in over two years - but then this comes along and shows that I'll never truly be free from anxiety.
I've got a pain in my right side. It started about halfway up my torso and I thought it was just a stomachache - that was last Thursday. Now it's moved lower, kind of where my hip is, and is more concentrated. My back also hurts at times as well, on the same side. Sometimes there's pain higher up, but mostly it's lower. It sometimes seems to be related to movement but not always and I can't think of anything that would have caused me to pull a muscle or something.
I have wanted so, so badly too Google but I have held off. Of course, I've run the gammut as to what it could be - cyst, some sort of cancer, UTI (which I don't think it is but would be a relief), blockage, or even something terrible I can't even think of. I tell myself to calm down and not give into this anxiety but it's so, so hard.
Since it's been a week and my mother is sick, I went ahead and made a doctor's appointment and I'll go in at the same time she does. I leave in an hour and I'm freaking out. Part of me is optomisic that he'll say it's something harmless. But the rest of me is freaking out that he won't know what it is (more anxiety!) or that it will be something bad.
It's bad enough that it's Thanksgiving tomorrow and family is coming over and I've got a lot of anxiety with guests. And my dog is very reactive (he's new, so my extended family doesn't know about him yet) so I have to fuss about him too. So of course I needed this stress as well.
How did I manage to fall victim to this again?
I've got a pain in my right side. It started about halfway up my torso and I thought it was just a stomachache - that was last Thursday. Now it's moved lower, kind of where my hip is, and is more concentrated. My back also hurts at times as well, on the same side. Sometimes there's pain higher up, but mostly it's lower. It sometimes seems to be related to movement but not always and I can't think of anything that would have caused me to pull a muscle or something.
I have wanted so, so badly too Google but I have held off. Of course, I've run the gammut as to what it could be - cyst, some sort of cancer, UTI (which I don't think it is but would be a relief), blockage, or even something terrible I can't even think of. I tell myself to calm down and not give into this anxiety but it's so, so hard.
Since it's been a week and my mother is sick, I went ahead and made a doctor's appointment and I'll go in at the same time she does. I leave in an hour and I'm freaking out. Part of me is optomisic that he'll say it's something harmless. But the rest of me is freaking out that he won't know what it is (more anxiety!) or that it will be something bad.
It's bad enough that it's Thanksgiving tomorrow and family is coming over and I've got a lot of anxiety with guests. And my dog is very reactive (he's new, so my extended family doesn't know about him yet) so I have to fuss about him too. So of course I needed this stress as well.
How did I manage to fall victim to this again?