marzipan
28-11-14, 13:34
Hi everyone,
This is my first post here as I'm feeling a bit lost as of late and was wondering if anyone could offer any insight. I'm very sorry in advance for what will be quite a long post!
I've always had issues with anxiety but in the last couple of months things seem to have gotten a lot worse and I'm just trying to get to the bottom of it.
I used to have social anxiety, was diagnosed with this by the doctor and was prescribed medication for it. I didn't however take the medication as I wanted to try and fight it on my own without the need for medication (would have preferred some type of counselling but this wasn't offered). I do still suffer with social anxiety to an extent, but it is much better now and not something that affects my life terribly.
Alongside this I have always had severe emetophobia - It has affected me for as long as I can remember (i'm now in my early 20's). However this was always kept fairly at bay as only mainly affected me strongly when I felt directly at risk, for example if I felt particularly sick which would usually cause horrible anxiety attack for around an hour but then the feeling would pass - this usually only happened 1/2 times a month. Or if I knew someone who was ill/had eaten something I felt might put me at risk of being ill would also make me very anxious.
Anyway this recently has developed further and I feel it has spiralled into other areas of anxiety, yet I still feel like the emetophobia is at the centre of it all. For example very recently I flew for the first time, on the way there I was nervous as it was my 1st time, but I actually enjoyed it. Anyway we went to Disneyland on that trip and I have also had a fair fear of rides, one that lately I have been combatting. I therefore went on many rides but unfortunately had a bit of a bad experience on one and it made me feel extremely sick for about 2 hours afterwards, this kind of put me off of rides for the rest of the holiday an made me incredibly anxious - despite me never actually being physically sick. As a result of this I was incredibly anxious regarding the flight home, to the point I almost had to get off the plane when we first boarded. I'm unsure as to why but I was just convinced the plane ride would make me feel sick (despite the outbound flight being perfectly fine) and if I did feel sick, the idea of being trapped on the flight for 8/9 hours terrified me. Anyway because of this I simply don't think I'll be able to fly for a very long time until I've sorted my anxiety, which is a great shame because I very much enjoyed original flight.
Fast forward to now and a short while ago I went on a trip to France on the eurostar, something I have done many times in my life and been fine with. But for some reason I begun having thoughts creeping into my mind, worrying about the train possibly making me feel ill/me feeling ill and being trapped on the train for a couple of hours.
It is strange because I knew I had travelled on the train many times, and I knew it had never made me feel ill in any way prior to this trip, but still I couldn't shake off the anxiety. The train ride both ways wasn't too bad, but I was awfully anxious both times and really couldn't wait for it to be over. Then when I actually reached France (and visited Disney again) I had a much similar trip to when I had visited America, I was terrified to ride rides because I was convinced I would feel sick on them. Despite me loving these rides only a year ago and them never making me feel ill. It is such a shame because I find myself being terrified to do things I used to love doing.
The most infuriating thing is I know very well that these anxious worries are silly and hold no merit as I know I have done the things that now worry me many times before and have been fine, but I can't shake the anxious feelings I get now while doing them. And then for example when I attempted to ride some of these rides on this recent trip I found myself enormously anxious and having mini panic attacks while on them! Which then went on to only make me feel more nervous/nauseous. So the entire thing is just one massive vicious circle, one that I feel I can not break free of.
I know it must sound simple that I just have emetophobia, but I am confused how it has suddenly spiralled into other areas of my life and has mutated into other anxious forms. The reason why I assumed that it could be GAD related is whilst emetophobia is one of my main worries, I do find myself being very anxious in day to day life anyway. I always try to remain a very positive person and am generally quite happy (although these recent anxiety spells are bringing me down a bit) however I have naturally always been quite a pessimistic person. Not in the sense that I immediately always look on the negative side of life, because as I said I am actually a rather positive person, but instead I am always fearful and considering of the negative side of life, I find myself worrying over silly things, all of the negative aspects of the world and how they could affect me/my life.
So therefore although much of my anxiety is certainly centred around emetophobia, I also suffer from anxiety related to other aspects of life - health/death/being out of control/claustrophobia etc type feelings.
Does anyone have any idea what all of this might be? And anything I can do to combat it? As I said it is incredibly infuriating as in the back of my mind I am confident that many of my worries are pointless, they hold no true meaning, but I still can't shake the anxiety that accompanies them. And unfortunately (in terms of the fear of being ill on rides anyway) simply forcing myself into doing the things that frighten me isn't even helpful in combating the anxiety. There was a particular ride on my most recent holiday that I was terrified to go on in case it made me feel ill, I went on it and didn't feel ill, but felt incredibly anxious and scared. After going on it I was still very scared of it, and proceeded to be incredibly scared of it again when we rode it a second time the next day. Despite me having rode it and knowing it had no ill affects upon me? So why am I still scared? I really can't make sense of it.
I have made an appointment with my doctor to discuss the issues further, but fear they will only recommend medication which is a road I really don't want to have to go down. I would prefer to combat this with therapy or perhaps something such as meditation that I want to look into.
Does anyone have any tips or insight for me? Thank you so much in advance for anyone who has taken the time to read this and help.
Apologies for the long-winded post. And hopefully this is in the correct section, I did consider putting it in the emetophobia section but I feel as though it is more than just that.
This is my first post here as I'm feeling a bit lost as of late and was wondering if anyone could offer any insight. I'm very sorry in advance for what will be quite a long post!
I've always had issues with anxiety but in the last couple of months things seem to have gotten a lot worse and I'm just trying to get to the bottom of it.
I used to have social anxiety, was diagnosed with this by the doctor and was prescribed medication for it. I didn't however take the medication as I wanted to try and fight it on my own without the need for medication (would have preferred some type of counselling but this wasn't offered). I do still suffer with social anxiety to an extent, but it is much better now and not something that affects my life terribly.
Alongside this I have always had severe emetophobia - It has affected me for as long as I can remember (i'm now in my early 20's). However this was always kept fairly at bay as only mainly affected me strongly when I felt directly at risk, for example if I felt particularly sick which would usually cause horrible anxiety attack for around an hour but then the feeling would pass - this usually only happened 1/2 times a month. Or if I knew someone who was ill/had eaten something I felt might put me at risk of being ill would also make me very anxious.
Anyway this recently has developed further and I feel it has spiralled into other areas of anxiety, yet I still feel like the emetophobia is at the centre of it all. For example very recently I flew for the first time, on the way there I was nervous as it was my 1st time, but I actually enjoyed it. Anyway we went to Disneyland on that trip and I have also had a fair fear of rides, one that lately I have been combatting. I therefore went on many rides but unfortunately had a bit of a bad experience on one and it made me feel extremely sick for about 2 hours afterwards, this kind of put me off of rides for the rest of the holiday an made me incredibly anxious - despite me never actually being physically sick. As a result of this I was incredibly anxious regarding the flight home, to the point I almost had to get off the plane when we first boarded. I'm unsure as to why but I was just convinced the plane ride would make me feel sick (despite the outbound flight being perfectly fine) and if I did feel sick, the idea of being trapped on the flight for 8/9 hours terrified me. Anyway because of this I simply don't think I'll be able to fly for a very long time until I've sorted my anxiety, which is a great shame because I very much enjoyed original flight.
Fast forward to now and a short while ago I went on a trip to France on the eurostar, something I have done many times in my life and been fine with. But for some reason I begun having thoughts creeping into my mind, worrying about the train possibly making me feel ill/me feeling ill and being trapped on the train for a couple of hours.
It is strange because I knew I had travelled on the train many times, and I knew it had never made me feel ill in any way prior to this trip, but still I couldn't shake off the anxiety. The train ride both ways wasn't too bad, but I was awfully anxious both times and really couldn't wait for it to be over. Then when I actually reached France (and visited Disney again) I had a much similar trip to when I had visited America, I was terrified to ride rides because I was convinced I would feel sick on them. Despite me loving these rides only a year ago and them never making me feel ill. It is such a shame because I find myself being terrified to do things I used to love doing.
The most infuriating thing is I know very well that these anxious worries are silly and hold no merit as I know I have done the things that now worry me many times before and have been fine, but I can't shake the anxious feelings I get now while doing them. And then for example when I attempted to ride some of these rides on this recent trip I found myself enormously anxious and having mini panic attacks while on them! Which then went on to only make me feel more nervous/nauseous. So the entire thing is just one massive vicious circle, one that I feel I can not break free of.
I know it must sound simple that I just have emetophobia, but I am confused how it has suddenly spiralled into other areas of my life and has mutated into other anxious forms. The reason why I assumed that it could be GAD related is whilst emetophobia is one of my main worries, I do find myself being very anxious in day to day life anyway. I always try to remain a very positive person and am generally quite happy (although these recent anxiety spells are bringing me down a bit) however I have naturally always been quite a pessimistic person. Not in the sense that I immediately always look on the negative side of life, because as I said I am actually a rather positive person, but instead I am always fearful and considering of the negative side of life, I find myself worrying over silly things, all of the negative aspects of the world and how they could affect me/my life.
So therefore although much of my anxiety is certainly centred around emetophobia, I also suffer from anxiety related to other aspects of life - health/death/being out of control/claustrophobia etc type feelings.
Does anyone have any idea what all of this might be? And anything I can do to combat it? As I said it is incredibly infuriating as in the back of my mind I am confident that many of my worries are pointless, they hold no true meaning, but I still can't shake the anxiety that accompanies them. And unfortunately (in terms of the fear of being ill on rides anyway) simply forcing myself into doing the things that frighten me isn't even helpful in combating the anxiety. There was a particular ride on my most recent holiday that I was terrified to go on in case it made me feel ill, I went on it and didn't feel ill, but felt incredibly anxious and scared. After going on it I was still very scared of it, and proceeded to be incredibly scared of it again when we rode it a second time the next day. Despite me having rode it and knowing it had no ill affects upon me? So why am I still scared? I really can't make sense of it.
I have made an appointment with my doctor to discuss the issues further, but fear they will only recommend medication which is a road I really don't want to have to go down. I would prefer to combat this with therapy or perhaps something such as meditation that I want to look into.
Does anyone have any tips or insight for me? Thank you so much in advance for anyone who has taken the time to read this and help.
Apologies for the long-winded post. And hopefully this is in the correct section, I did consider putting it in the emetophobia section but I feel as though it is more than just that.