Scared Sick

[elik]

Hi guys,

I have suffered from depression since the age of 11 and I am now 21. There is no doubt about it, that anxiety is the cause of depression. My main problem is that I ruminate (over think, end up in a negative spiral). I have been really good at managing it over the past few years now I am a bit older and wiser but now and again my anxiety rears its ugly head. I am quite good at letting it pass without putting up to much of a fight and getting absorbed by it. However, my latest anxiety is to do with my relationship which I can't seem to let pass as it poses a massive threat and this scares me sick. I am doubting everything in my relationship and fearing that we will end or I will ruin it by being like this, and this thought alone makes me want to break down in tears. I seem to be analysing his moves and jumping to conclusions making myself miserable with the constant 'what if's' going through my brain. I have my good moments and realise I cannot predict the future and I just need to be content in the now, but I can't seem to let it go and I have the most sickeningly heavy feeling in my stomach and feel physically sick most times due to the anxiety. Any tips would help, the last thing I need is to sabotage my own relationship as I love my boyfriend to pieces and I am very lucky.

Thanks :)

[apm]

Hi Elik,

First question, are you getting any medical help? Medication and/ or talking therapy is very effective at controlling anxiety and depression. GP would be the first port of call. Although if you've been suffering for a while, you have probably done this? If so, it may be worth reviewing your meds etc. if they're not so effective?

As regards spiralling, we all do that. It doesn't help, but we still do it! Try to find someone to talk it through with- I've found that sometimes just saying it out loud to someone else can be effective at bringing me back to a sensible place. The chatroom here is pretty good, and there are numbers you can call too. Try nopanic.org.uk- they have a helpline staffed by people who've been there, enormously helpful.

Hope that's of use, and keep the faith!

Alex.

[chickpea]

You may find mindfulness very helpful, to learn how to stay in the here and now.
Have a look at the Headspace app. - free guided meditations and explanations how and why mindfulness works for depression and anxiety. It's a very modern, funky, easy to use version of mindfulness.
Also, How to Find Peace in a Frantic World by Mark Williams - a Best selling book on mindfulness with a CD of guided meditations. Again, easy to read and brilliant.

[elik]

Thank you, I will have a look :D

---------- Post added at 23:36 ---------- Previous post was at 23:30 ----------

I also feel like I'm almost scared to talk/see my boyfriend and I can't place why. It's like I feel guilt or don't know if I am going to be all negative around him. This is encouraging my anxiety as I love him so much and he is so good and I'm just so scared!! I cannot lose him, but I dwell on this anxiety as this is such a threat. It makes me feel physically sick when I think I might ruin this or my own mind is going to destroy the relationship. :(

[kristaok]

I went through a stage around the same age, I was fearful of my bf dumping me... In the end it didn't work out with him. If someone dumps someone over anxiety IMO they don't deserve them. Anxiety is cruel enough, we don't need heartless nobodies treating us like loons.

Even though we broke up, I eventually got married to a new man and we have a beautiful baby girl.

So keep your chin up...