First ever 'random' attack

[Rennie1989]

Hiya

First of all, sorry for my long absense. Since the break up of my boyfriend I wanted to leave here for a bit as I was scared that the panic attacks would come back, again! I hope everybody had a great Christmas and New Year :D

So anyway, yesterday I was on the train coming home from college and I was deleting my texts. I started feeling like the oxygen in the train was getting low and that there was no fresh air. I didn't think much of it until I started to become shakey. I decided to get the bus back to my house so I get home and be safe.

My symptoms got worse and I got more of them. Then at 11pm BANG I had a panic attack. It wasn't a big one, but it was uncomfortable. I woke up today feeling very tired and run down.

All throughout today I have been feeling like ... well ... crap. I'm quiet, shakey, breathless and very twitchy. This was my first random panic attack and it's confusing me. I'm happy, so why am I panicking?

Two last questions:
1- Is this something to be concerned about as I was not scared or anything before the attack and
2- Is it normal to feel like crying when you don't feel depressed, after an attack?

My teddy, last night, was a paper bag to keep my safe.

[groovygranny]

Hello Jadey!

Sorry you're feeling crappy. If it's any comfort to you, I had much the same happen when out for dinner with friends back in the summer. Bear in mind I had been back to work for a couple of months and had been off Citalopram for the same time. Well, there we were sat and all of a sudden it was just as you described. I got steadily worse and had the most awful night, which I got through with not actively fighting it (easier said than done!) and plenty of chilled water and a huge fan!! By the morning I was feeling much better and it all seemed like a bad dream. It hasn't been that bad since then and I still don't know what may have caused it. I may never know. But I'm glad it happened because I know I got over it and lived to tell the tale :) !!

I think it's totally normal for you to to feel like crying after that episode, in fact that might even be a good thing - lets any the tension out!

Hope you feel better sooner rather than later,

lotsa luv

GG [:P]

xx

'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'

[Rennie1989]

GG

Yes that is a good point. You are able to talk about it and be prepared next time. I remember my first attack clearly (but I seem to forget the others like it never happened) and I have learned from it ^_^

I try not to cry, once I start I can't stop. Lol

My teddy, last night, was a paper bag to keep my safe.

[hopeandstrength]

Hey Jadey,

Yep I often get like that after a panic attack sometimes I just have to 'sleep it off' so to speak cuz its like all my energy was used in the attack. Random attacks are horrible, but just remember you got through it!! Well done, the key now is to not fall into that cycle of fearing another one :D
And i think the twitchyness u felt was a result of the high levels of adrenalin in ur body, i also suffer from this too.

Angel xx

"Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted"

[Rennie1989]

Angel

Yes a panic attack is very exhausting. I ran the Race For Life last July and that needs less energy then a panic attack, it's physically and mentally draining.

I am trying my absolute hardness not to get another panic attack. When I had panic attacks for a reason (if I'm stressed or nervous for example) I can easily get over it but with this I don't know why I had it so it's harder to get over.

That was the adrenalin? Now that explains alot, lol, thanks for that! Is there anything I can do to stop my body releasing so much adrenalin during a panic attack?

"My teddy last night was a paper bag, to keep my safe."

[Melina]

Hi Jadey
when I used to get attacks several times a time, I would feel completely drained, tired, exhausted. My whole body would feel extremely heavy, I thought I had a serious disease

I think it would be normal to cry after such an occurence, because we cry during/after experiencing other extreme emotions, happiness, fear, sad etc, I think it is the bodys natural defense/release system

[Rennie1989]

Melina

Usually when I cry during an attack it's because I'm scared but I felt like I was heart broken after I had the attack or like somebody close had died. Thanks for the reply.

"My teddy last night was a paper bag, to keep my safe."

[Meg]

Hey Jadey,

*I started feeling like the oxygen in the train was getting low and that there was no fresh air. I didn't think much of it '

I would bet that actually you were trying not to think of it but you really were semi subconciouslythinking about it constantly , especially if you took the descision to go home using an alternative route and then this played on your mind thereafter.

One person can survive in a closed lift for 4 days without running out of oxygen, so its impossible for the train to really be running low, however your thoughts were telling you that that is what your fear was and thus your body and nervous system responded as if it were true.

Energy follows thoughts.

Think about your day and what else could have set you off, sugar, caffiene, tired, worried, not eaten enough ..

Hope you're ok now


Meg

proactiveness, positivity, persistence, perseverance and practice = progress

[Rennie1989]

I just used that quote as if the train had hardly any oxygen, sorry I should have made myself more clearer.

With the food. That day I ate pretty much what I do any day, I had cereal for breakfast and for snacks I had a breakfast bar, a few chocolate bars and a packet of crisps along with a bottle of blackcurrent. I only had two lessons that day so there was no need to have a big lunch.

Caffine. Nope, I had no coffee, tea or coke that day. I have tea on occassions (I gave up coffee and I felt better since, until Thursday when this happened).

I wasn't that tired. I'm tired going to college (especially when I wake up early) but I wake up as I get to college. And nope, I'm not worried about anything.

This is why I'm so confused why I had that panic attack, and because I don't know why I had it I can't avoid it (like if I was tired I would sleep more or if it was about college work I would revise or get help).

"My teddy last night was a paper bag, to keep my safe."

[kelbob]

its ok because i get random attacks all the time..they just come for no reason..and i get like i want to cry alot..as far as i know im nt depressed.
so dont worry.
kelly x :D

[Melina]

Jadey
as an after thought, 3 days after I gave birth to my daughter, for 1 day only I cried uncontrollably all day, just out of the blue for no apparent reason I kept bursting into tears and felt sad all day even though I had nothing to feel sad about. at the time, I just assumed my hormones must be all over the place after giving birth. I wonder if the same/similar can occur around your monthly cycle? PMT related? (ps. I only started getting PMT a few years ago, it just decided to come one year)

[Rennie1989]

Melina

I never seem to get PMT (Thank the Lord!) but I have come on today. I suppose that's why i feel panicky, but I actually feel like I am scared (hence adrenelin) but not stressy.

I tend to only feel upset (or feel like I want to cry) after an attack, which I suppose it's because I've had an uncomfortable/scary experience.

When you had your daughter did you feel ok afterwards? Baby Blues seems really nasty (I did Child Development as a GCSE subject and we briefly did Baby Blues).

"My teddy last night was a paper bag, to keep my safe."

[bb01234]

Jadey, I'd suggest that if you've had a couple of panic attacks at different times with a bit of a gap between them then there could be merit in looking to resolve the underlying issues.

You don't sound that old and it'd be a shame always be in expectation of another one.

As regards crying, crying is natural. If you feel you'll cry and cry and cry and never stop, well, it sounds like your unconscious mind is saying there are tears to come out. We don't ever complain about laughing too much or dancing too much but crying ...

Anyhow, you can't cry too much, moreover it's that feeling you need to push through to get to the other side - the, after-the-tears feeling. Now that's a better experience.

Much more relaxed.

Consider if you will this question: If youhad a place of comfort and safety where you live that you could cry in, undisturbed where would it be? Note that in your mind. Then the next time you feel the tears welling up, tell your unconscious mind 'not now, but it's ok when I'm back at X' You should find the tears abate. But when you ARE back at X, let them out. Perhaps get a big box of Kleenex first!

It will be worth it, trust me.

HTH, keep up the good decisions

Regards

Brian

[Rennie1989]

Brian

Thanks for the message. I kind of understand that I have something unconcsiously in my mind but every night I try to think what it could be as the stress of that makes me feel worse. Also I absolutely hate crying, lol, I'm not one who expressions my feelings freely =P

With the panic attacks, I had one on Thursday and Saturday night, I almost had one yesterday night too (well I could have had one, when the attacks are small it's hard to say if it was a panic attack or not).

Thanks again

"My teddy last night was a paper bag, to keep my safe."

[Melina]

Hi Jadey
glad you do not have to deal with PMT! yes I was ok after my 24-hour 'baby blues' experience, although I do remember being really scared about bringing her home, how would I cope being a mother etc. I started to experience panic and anxiety several years later.

I'm convinced that from a women's perspective, hormones are more powerful than we realise. to give an example, even when I was experiencing the most terriffying anxiety (& since having started to get PMT) after the 3rd day of coming on, I have always had a 'positive day', where as soon as I wake up I feel confident, strong have no anxiety and feel like I can conquer the world. A few days before I come on, I am miserable, sad, angry, depressed. Although not every women has PMT I wonder if hormones react differently in different woman?

I was wondering, have you experienced a saddening event at some point during your childhood, where perhaps you have not allowed yourself to feel sad and have bottled it up?

I am notorious for bottling up my feelings, when my mother died a few years ago, it wasnt until about 6 months afterwards that I started to cry, greave properly

I wish I could offer more advice for you, I'm just starting to learn about panic, anxiety and the symptoms.

bye for now
xxx
Melina

[Rennie1989]

Melina

My best friend has bad PMT where she cries alot and feels depressed, I'm just so glad I don't get that. I have felt on occassions where I felt annoyed for no reason but I learned to keep it in and not take it out on anybody (especially guys, lol).

I don't think anything bad happened in my childhood, unless you count the fact that my brother was born when I was 6, lol. Na I love my brother to bits (He has his 11+ exam today =D). I Was bullied alot since I started school, I even remember being bullied in nursery, but it got worse when I got secondary school. When I eventually got the panic attacks when I was 13 (Year 9 at school) my bullying got worse as they made fun of my attacks which then made my attacks worse.

Thanks for the advice, and welcome to the forum ^_^

"My teddy last night was a paper bag, to keep my safe."

[Melina]

Jadey
I got bullied too, at work, and colleagues made it far far worse by talking about me/making fun of me - because I was so confused and scared as to what was going on with me, I didnt feel strong enough to stand up for myself. I couldnt believe that people could be so nasty - supposed grown ups/adults!! certain people did their best to try and make me feel as though I was going mad, obviously knowing this is one of the most frightening experiences of panic attacks and general anxiety.
thanks for the welcome!
Melina

[bb01234]

Hi there Jadey

You mention that when you try to think of why, you feel worse.

That's natural. You will.

Your conscious mind doesn't know why you get your panic attacks, it won't do, and your unconsious mind will fight to do what it was asked to do once before, to keep secret what and why it needs to hide memories from you.

It's only when you can quieten the consicious mind that a dialogue with your unscious mind will begin soon.

Don't underestimate the m a s s i v e effect of being bullied as a child has on us as adults.

It's like seeing the world through sepia toned filter. Everything can be affected, somedays more somedays less.

It's around this time as a little girl that your mind happend upon panics and anxiety as a way to help you. Yes, it thinks that these symptoms help you to avoid the pain of the cause.

Many more people that you can imagine how many people sufffer this way in silence so talking is good for you soon.

Regards

brian

[Rennie1989]

Melina - That is stupid that the 'mature' people still bully others and make then feel like they are going mad. And yes I must agree, thinking that you are going mad is the worst thing. I had that before when going to college as my anxiety went through the roof (I was going to go on a date with a guy about a couple of days before this happened) and I couldn't look at somebody or scratch an ich without thinking I was going mad, very scary and frustrating.

Brain - That has got me thinking. I do Psychology at college and we are doing Physical Psychology at the moment so hopefully the knowledge I get from this could help me answer a few questions. I suppose it could be the bullying that has affected me but it's the times when I get the panic attacks and feel panicky which still concern me. And I agree too, adrenalin is the 'fight or flight' chemical ... thing .... so I suppose panic attacks come under 'flight' but in a dramatic sense.

"My teddy last night was a paper bag, to keep my safe."

[bb01234]

Jadey, your understanding is good.

What happens 'now' may not have a clear connection with what happened 'then'.

We also all underplay just how big a pain was then and cover it up and that's what every symptom is - leakage of the 'old stuff' just still coming out.

continue to learn - it's the best way

brian

[Rennie1989]

That is true, but I need the leaking to stop. I keep getting episodes where I feel weird like hyperventilating and generally feeling scared.

"My teddy last night was a paper bag, to keep my safe."

[bb01234]

Hello again.

I don't suggest it's easy being you at present. Far from it.

I guess we've all got about 3 or 4 ways to take issues forwards.

1. Do nothing - the 'stiff upper lip', 'put up & shut up' approach - keeps the undertakers in business that one.

2. The 'take the pills to cure the ills' approach - ok short term to re-balance but then there's adjustments, then coming off then dealing with the cause.

3. Taking the 'big plunge' to let your mind have it's say and reveal what's up. - The revealing can be painful but afterwards ... the calmness has to be experienced to be understood. Essentially, when dealt with there is no more 'thing' to leak. Then we realise that everything we experience is only a symptom and that it's the cause that's relevant, the rest is window dressing on the mind. It's not an overnight fix but, if you're working with the right person in the right way, does not need to take months and months. The time is often a function of how willing the person is to let the memories come up and out.

Oh, there's 4. Take a busy job, fill social life with busy activity, tell everyone you're happy and hope no one sees through the mask.

Experience has shown which is best.

But I don't know where that leaves you.

Keep on talking, where there's a pulse there's hope.

Rgds

Brian

[Rennie1989]

Hiya, they are some good points.

I have found that keeping my emotions in makes me feel worse, when I release them I feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I could go to the doctors about this, if they prescribe me medication then fair be, as long as it makes me feel better, that's all I want.

"My teddy last night was a paper bag, to keep my safe."

[buttercup123]

Jadey - invest in some Rescue Remedy, it's really helpful for the panics you get out in the world, I have only just discovered it and it's really working for me. Best 6 quid I spent this year!

Take care,

Jo x

*whenlifegivesyoulemonsmakelemonade*

[thriver]

Hello Jadey,

Early adulthood is a very typical age for panic attacks to onset. Just as you're gaining your independence from your parents -- wham! It seems so cruel but it happened to me and it's happened to others. One more clue that there are probably physical causes that contribute to panic disorder.

Feeling unable to breathe properly is very common in those with anxiety and it becomes acute in a panic attack. Adrenaline makes you breathe heavier and faster than normal and you end up changing your blood chemistry, overloading on oxygen, so that you get tingly fingers etc -- hyperventilation. Is your teddy-bear-paper-bag with you so that you can breathe in and out of it, because this is one way to control hyperventilation?

People with panic disorders are very, very sensitive to changes in the percentage of carbon dioxide in the air they breathe and in fact changing this can bring on a panic. If you're on a stuffy train with loads of people, the air can contain plenty of oxygen but also a lot of carbon dioxide from people exhaling. This is in no way harmful to the body but it can really set off a panic. The same holds true for crowded rooms and long-haul flights. It's interesting: airlines believe that the pilots should have a continual fresh flow of air from the outside, but the passengers survive on recycled air, because the fuel efficiency drops if fresh air is brought in. It used to be the norm to bring in fresh air but more modern airplanes recycle air. (sigh)

If the space you're in feels stuffy due to overheating or a lot of moisture, this can also feel confining. I think it's important to consciously note these things, not to avoid them or obsess about them, but to explain to yourself why you might be feeling "off." A big part of panic is the not knowing why your body is feeling so badly.

I've also found that in some cases, if I'm in an environment that is stressful like public transit, and I overstimulate a sense -- like reading, for example, which is sensory input to the eyes that stimulates the brain -- I will panic! Some people find that reading might calm them. Not me. But I can watch television as I've found on long-haul flights -- go figure!

The key is to tell yourself "I don't feel well at the moment, but that's because I'm doing something that I find difficult; however, I am choosing and I want to do it, so I won't let my discomfort stop me and the discomfort will not go on forever."

I hope this helps!

[Nick1981]

Jadey,

I would agree with Jo, i found Rescue Remedy useful too.
A couple of things that have helped me are to stop letting the fear of having attack bother me and to almost will the attack to happen. A panic attack thrives on your own fear, usually fear of the attack itself so if you will it to happen you are doing away with the fear. I find my self saying "come on then, bring it on, whats the worst you can do" it really helps. Also when you feel the symptons creaping up dont judge them as a bad thing, just see them as feelings, "theres the heavy breathing, oh well must get on".
I really wouldnt advise trying to fight an attack back, just will it to "do its worst" it will pass much quicker!!

Nick

It does get better