Can't get over someone and depression returning

[smithci]

Hi

I have not been on the forum for a while as I truly believed my depression had lifted, infact I didn't even think about

I had a nightmare with depression the first 6 months this year , trying different meds , battling suicidal thoughts etc. I then in June decided to give up on meds and treat the depression though diet and amino acids. I used to the book 'The way up from down' by Patricia Slagle. It worked!!! My sleeping was still bad but everything else was great... I mean really great and the sleep did not bother me at all.

I then got talking to an absolutely amazing girl online. We spoke none stop for 2 months but we only met up twice, Our interests and sense of humour were so much a like. This was a massive spring in my step. Other little flings I've had random feelings of guilt about my ex but never with her. I was just so happy.

Unfortunately she said she couldn't be in a dating situation because she had guilt about her ex, they were together for over 10 years. I was OK at first but then I noticed she was still on the dating website. I eventually lost it with her and said she should forget about me. Maybe I was trying play her a little. She claimed she was just laughing at the idiots on there messaging her, but the low self esteem negative side of my didn't believe it. She was always so nice to me and I threw it back in her face.. I even deleted her off my facebook. I immediately apologized the following day, she was OK and we were talking again as normal.

A week later I posted some photos of a vacation I'd recently been on. I told her about the facebook delete during my rage. Then I got no replies, like at all. She ignored me on whatsapp and ignored my calls. I said look if you do not want to talk just say and I'll sadly be on my way. But no ackowledgement at all.

I said look I'm tempted to call round to your house please just talk to me. So I did call round but no answer, I know it was wrong now but the jetlag and hangover I was in a really bad way. She then appeared to have blocked me on facebook, dating site and whatsapp. I tried sending her a little thing from my holidays but she just returned it.

Since then i cannot stop ruminating about it and cant get any feelings of pleasure anymore : ( I am not going on meds but i have started IPT therapy. I'm waking earlier and earlier in the mornings too , I'm still exercising etc but i'm getting really exhausted.

How do I stop the ruminating and get over an amazing person that wont talk to me and hates me??

[Oosh]

I really feel for you. I've felt like that. You've got to forget about her now though. Online dating scene, it happens. And it happens just like that. Polite excuses, a decision they gave it a try but don't want to continue it. Its a horrible feeling when you found someone you liked but its not being reciprocated.

You looked and found her right ? She's one of only about ten million online who you could be starting something new with. People grumble about seeing someone else on the rebound but I say it's good to put your focus on the next thing. It helps you forget the last thing. And you DO need to forget it. Never message her or knock for her again. It would have been handy to have done that sooner. You'd have come out of it better. Don't give your best to someone who doesn't absolutely want it. There are people out there who will appreciate it. Don't waste it, it's worth more than that.

Be your best and get on to the next thing. Never think of her again. You are looking for that next thing to work so learn from this and if youre unsure if she's keen get out and onto the next one.
You meet one one day who likes you as much as you like her so keep looking. If it's not her, get out and keep looking.

I did the aminos thing too. You on fish oil ? Give that a try, it's a good supplement. Myprotein do a super omega that has very high EPA in which is supposed to be good for anxiety and depression amongst many other things. I take 2g EPA per day.

Do some cardio and lift that gloom. Then right back in there and find the one who wants you back.

[smithci]

Thank you so much for taking the time write such a long and thoughtful reply.

She said the most lovely things to me and one day I threw them back in her face. I'm paying for it dearly now knowing she must think I'm absolute scum.

I'm not a bad looking or boring guy but she turned me into a desperate and needy stalker. It was a cowardly passive aggressive attack on me of the highest order, quite brutal for someone prone to depression. If I had of seen it for what it was at the time I would have resisted contact and not given her the ammo to fuel the attack . I Keep remembering when I noticed I was blocked and I cried my eyes out. So embarrassing.

I am dating someone again. She likes me, I fancy her but I'm not sure there's much in common. Comparing is a problem. It doesn't help this crap still plagues my mind.

I will try the fish oil, what is the name of the product?? I use my protein alot but there's a lot of stuff on there

Thanks again
Chris

[Oosh]

SO MANY people online dating these days. Lots of great people out there. Keep looking. The sooner you find someone nice again the sooner you'll forget the last one even existed. Give yourself some credit. The dating scene isn't easy but you're out there doing it.

This is the one I use.


http://m.myprotein.com/sports-nutrition/super-omega-3/10615610.html

[smithci]

Thanks so you take two caps a day Yeah?

[Oosh]

Well there's 580mg EPA in each of those capsules and I aim for 2000mg EPA per day. So I take two twice a day with meals so four per day in total.

I've read about various doses online. But a neuroscientist I read about somewhere said they took 2000mg EPA per day so that's what I aim for. If they don't know what they're doing, who does ?

If you look into studies done for things like anxiety and depression the doses are high, as in 1000mg or 2000mg of EPA.

I got my mum on them a few weeks ago and last Thursday she said she felt better for some reason and has began wondering if it's the fish oil. She suffers with anxiety. She said she felt her head was clearer.


(Disclaimer - if your head or ears or something fall off its not my fault) :yesyes:

[smithci]

That's great I'll get some ordered

I can easily fit them into my plan as I should be taking fish oils for heavy weight lifting anyways

[MyNameIsTerry]

Have a scan at some these threads smithci:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=160480
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=157559
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=161789
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=133399

Being into weights, you might be interested in the taurine side given its good for GABA.

...and not forgetting Oosh's fish oil thread where some of us have been discussing this:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=155025