Nervous - handing in notice tomorrow

[GirlAfraid23]

I'm very very nervous and anxious tonight, I'm handing in my notice tomorrow morning. I'm in a long distamce relationship and I'm relocating in January to be with him.
This is a very unusual decision for me as I'm moving away from everything and everyone I know and being very spontaneous. I could just carry on as I am but I can't bear the distance any longer and I just want to be with him.

I'm worried about what work will say and how the staff will react. I don't have a job lined up as such but have joined an agency and they have said I can have an interview in January. I feel like people there will judge me on my decision.
I also hate a lot of fuss and attention and I know everyone will be asking me. I work in a small school so I know the parents will want to know as they will likely put it in the newsletter and I will have an assembly when I leave - which is what happens anytime someone leaves the school.
I just want to leave without any fuss or questions but I know that won't happen.

Has anybody got any words or advice or encouragement or been in a similar situation themselves?

[NE21 worrier]

Hi,

I'm sorry I don't actually have much experience to offer but I wish to impart the following: it reads to me like you are following your heart and, at this stage, you just need to invest all of your trust in your decision. Believe in it fully, you're doing the right thing if you expect this to make you happy in the long-term.

As for the fuss - yes, it'll possibly be a difficult and stressful time and, yes, people might ask questions and even judge you. Remember you can't control how other people will react - but remember also that they're not as important to you as the person you are moving to be closer with, so it will blow over and you'll still be happy at the end of it.

As for any future work: again obviously I don't know you personally - but you come across as a talented person. Again, looking at the bigger picture, you'll be fine.

It might be a tough day tomorrow - it is a big decision and there might be a bit of fuss - but you've got to follow your heart. You're doing the right thing :)

[Oosh]

Hand your notice in, work your notice period, they'll be happy with you and no doubt will miss you. Then off you go into your new exciting relocation.
The agency will get a good reference from your last job and give you some work, all sorted.

Relocating is great. I've done it twice. Liverpool to the Wirral then the Wirral to Yorkshire. You see a place differently when you're not from there. I LOVE it.
Everything's familiar to them but new to you. You're not a piece of furniture there like they are. I think it's really good for you. It's really stimulating and exciting being in a new environment.

Well done for deciding to take that leap and go and move in with your bf. I remember you posting about it a while back.

[MrAndy]

Good luck it sounds like the change will do you good

[GirlAfraid23]

Thanks guys, I'm not sure I'll sleep much tonight :(

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think you have to practice some acceptance when it comes to things like this because people are always going to make some form of judgement, some bad, some good. However, that doesn't matter.

Your employer may feel a bit let down because they have to find someone to replace you, hence it causing them more work or they may feel down because they like & respect you and don't want you to go. Maybe both, but again its something to just accept and if anything like "oh great, now I've got to replace her" is thought, as long as its not voiced, it doesn't matter and only you can determine if your working relationship is good and what response if likely.

The thing is though, what does it matter? Why cause yourself worry over people you are treating with respect and will never seen again? You aren't leaving them in the lurch, you are following expected procedure and doing the right things.

I can understand how you feel though, I used to feel like that about birthdays or going back to work after being off with my anxiety. People ask and you feel a bit on the spot, especially when your confidence has been knocked.

I would suggest if anyone asks, just say you are moving to be with your partner and will find a job once you get there. I would have thought everyone would understand that and be happy for you as you are moving on to better things and prioritising what is important to you. If they want to put something in the newsletter, prepare some key points they could mention which match this.

Spin it around the other way too - they are asking because they are interested and care about you. If they didn't care, they wouldn't ask.

[H.Daniel]

Everybody is afraid in some way of changes especially life changes like you are making right now. Don't worry, everything will be all right. Follow your heart and be with the one you love. Don't think too much about what people are saying because you can not stop people from discussing about you.

The best thing is that people forget quickly, so you will forget this situation very fast and you will feel relieved after you leave and settle in your new place.

Best of luck!

[b0yer]

You should be really proud of the actions you just took. That takes guts and you should really reward yourself instead of being nervous.

But anxiety to a big move like that can be really hard and is completely understandable.

[Magic]

I wish you the best of luck GirlAfraid.:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[GirlAfraid23]

I did it! Now I've just got to wait for a meeting with them in a few days hopefully.

[Annie0904]

Well done :)

[debs71]

I wish you all the luck in the world, and say well done too!

I have twice handed in my notice. Both times, like you, I was apprehensive, but at the end of the day, and what you must bear in mind, is that whatever they think about your resignation - work colleagues, parents, whoever - it is a choice you are ENTITLED to make, it is YOUR life, nobody else's and also - in terms of what exactly they think about it - whatever they think, they will think, regardless of whether you worry about it, hun. There are going to be the typical 'sticky beaks' who will want to know who, what, why and where, but you need not tell them anything except the bare bones....it is YOUR business!

Many years ago, I told my counselor how nervous and anxious I got when I rang in sick for work, as I worried like mad what my colleagues and managers thought about me, and she said a very basic and simple things to me. She said 'so what can you do about that? How can you change what they think? The answer is, you can't, so it is a pointless worry to have. Let them think whatever they think, and you do what you need to for yourself'.

It has stayed with me, as it taught me that those worries in life really are a waste of our energy, and get us worked up and anxious fruitlessly. All we can do is what is best for ourselves, and let others do likewise. Of course people will naturally have an opinion, but that is their issue, not yours!

Try if you can also to look ahead of you, and pat yourself on the back for the courageous decision you have made, and how exciting it is to move to a new life stage after this awkward bit of leaving, when you can just move and on leave it in the past.

All the best! :)