marie398
01-12-14, 04:03
Hi everyone,
I have looked at posts on this forum for quite some time and finally decided to join. I belong to a similar forum as well and I see quite a few similar users which is nice :).
Anyways, long story short..I've suffered with health anxiety for years..Usually it would last a few months at a time (usually one specific illness), then I'd get on with life. But the past 6 months have been brutal.
I have jumped diseases several times, being utterly convinced I had hodgkins lymphoma, ovarian cancer, a brain tumor, melanoma, phyllodes tumor, etc, and have accepted my "fate" on numerous occasions. This caused me to become depressed for a month or two where I lost weight and had no desire to do anything except stay in bed. I was convinced my time was soon and that doctors would not help me.
Here I am, a bit later, and I am currently worried about amelanotic melanoma, a very rare subtype of melanoma. I am not as "convinced" as I was with the other cancers as my anxiety has calmed down a little bit. To do this, I 1) do not visit doctors anymore because it just gives me endless reassurance that is addictive but unhelpful to anxiety and 2) really, really try hard not to google. I fail quite a bit honestly, but I am doing better than the nights I would stay up for hours reading lymphoma stories and 3) I try to stop self checking. This one is the hardest as I am convinced If I stop looking at a mole or lymph node for a few days, it'll get huge and it'll be too late.
The reason I am worried about amelanotic melanoma is because of a small pink patch on my lower back that idk what it is. I've had it for a while with no change and it is completely flat and feels like normal skin. Maybe its a birth mark..idk. i have vague memory of having a spot in that area a few years ago but of course, at the time I wasn't so hypochondria ridden where I analyzed it in ten different lights and measured it, like I do now.
There is nothing I can do about that spot though I guess..just have to see if it changes. if it does, I'll literally run to the doctor lol, but chances are, its really nothing.
Now what is troubling me is I have been having a burning sensation in my lower back for a few days now. it started a month ago and went away when I moved onto a different worry, and now its back. its on and off all day and it feels like my skin is extra sensitive and burns when anything comes in contact with it. It isn't on the "spot" i am worried about (thankfully), trust me I check every 5 minutes if the burning is coming from that area, but it is somewhat close. Regardless, highly doubt its related.
I had a similar burning sensation on my breast a few months back during my BC fear, and it eventually went away. But this sensation now is persisting.
I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with this similar sensation and if anyone knows how to provide relief from it. its VERY uncomfortable, especially at work.
Thank you to anyone who replies:)
I have looked at posts on this forum for quite some time and finally decided to join. I belong to a similar forum as well and I see quite a few similar users which is nice :).
Anyways, long story short..I've suffered with health anxiety for years..Usually it would last a few months at a time (usually one specific illness), then I'd get on with life. But the past 6 months have been brutal.
I have jumped diseases several times, being utterly convinced I had hodgkins lymphoma, ovarian cancer, a brain tumor, melanoma, phyllodes tumor, etc, and have accepted my "fate" on numerous occasions. This caused me to become depressed for a month or two where I lost weight and had no desire to do anything except stay in bed. I was convinced my time was soon and that doctors would not help me.
Here I am, a bit later, and I am currently worried about amelanotic melanoma, a very rare subtype of melanoma. I am not as "convinced" as I was with the other cancers as my anxiety has calmed down a little bit. To do this, I 1) do not visit doctors anymore because it just gives me endless reassurance that is addictive but unhelpful to anxiety and 2) really, really try hard not to google. I fail quite a bit honestly, but I am doing better than the nights I would stay up for hours reading lymphoma stories and 3) I try to stop self checking. This one is the hardest as I am convinced If I stop looking at a mole or lymph node for a few days, it'll get huge and it'll be too late.
The reason I am worried about amelanotic melanoma is because of a small pink patch on my lower back that idk what it is. I've had it for a while with no change and it is completely flat and feels like normal skin. Maybe its a birth mark..idk. i have vague memory of having a spot in that area a few years ago but of course, at the time I wasn't so hypochondria ridden where I analyzed it in ten different lights and measured it, like I do now.
There is nothing I can do about that spot though I guess..just have to see if it changes. if it does, I'll literally run to the doctor lol, but chances are, its really nothing.
Now what is troubling me is I have been having a burning sensation in my lower back for a few days now. it started a month ago and went away when I moved onto a different worry, and now its back. its on and off all day and it feels like my skin is extra sensitive and burns when anything comes in contact with it. It isn't on the "spot" i am worried about (thankfully), trust me I check every 5 minutes if the burning is coming from that area, but it is somewhat close. Regardless, highly doubt its related.
I had a similar burning sensation on my breast a few months back during my BC fear, and it eventually went away. But this sensation now is persisting.
I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with this similar sensation and if anyone knows how to provide relief from it. its VERY uncomfortable, especially at work.
Thank you to anyone who replies:)