new member extreme fear of MS please anyone else the same

[jenjen2309]

I have been nursing for a number of years and have developed a deep rooted fear of developing MS. I even visualise myself in a wheelchair being cared for by my family. I know that people with MS aren't all bed bound and do live good lives but my biggest fear is to not be able to care for myself.
I am not scared of dying I'm scared of not being able to control my body.
Please does anyone have this fear? I am waking up with panic attacks which in turn makes my arms and legs feel numb and this exacerbates my 'symptoms' more and more

[CleverLittleViper]

MS is a common fear among HA sufferers, me included. I'd say welcome to the club, but it's not a club anyone wants to be part of.

At the height of my MS fears, I suffered with:
1) Numb hands and feet
2) Cold extremities
3) Numb/tight face
4) Tingling in hands and feet
5) Vertigo
6) Constant pressure headache
7) Insomnia
8) Nausea
9) Urge Incontinence
10) Electric Zaps
11) Flashes in eyes
12) All over body twitches (these have made a nice home with me)
13) Vibrating feeling in my leg

And the list goes on, and on.

I was convinced I had MS. All the websites said so. I had all the symptoms. The thing is, not one of the sites gave any context to it. It was just "These are the early symptoms of MS." Not one said it typically shows up in ONE side of the body, not both, and all over the body symptoms are NOT a sign of early MS.

Not one explained what they meant by numbness, of which is a clinical numbness, not just perceived. It is understanding that without context, reading medical literature or those sites that like to convince us we're either dying or about to get a neurological "nasty," is pointless. We're not going to understand what it truly means.

Anxiety can cause all kinds of bizarre symptoms. All of mine can be attributed to anxiety, as can many more, and I realised my case fit anxiety far more than it did MS.

I no longer fear MS as I once did. Probably because I've shifted onto other diseases. :blush: Realising that MS is not a death sentence, nor is it a guaranteed path to a wheelchair is a great help. Only 15% of people are in wheelchairs 20 years after diagnosis. Some may never ever need them, and if they do, it may be when they're really old, and may have needed them for other reasons, too.

Also, I read somewhere that within my lifetime (I'm 27) MS will be cured, and within ten years, better medication is coming out that is thought to cut relapses down by 75%. There are people who never get any flare ups of MS, and those who get more, but most people do live normal, active lives with the disease. So, it's nothing to fear.

Removing the fear element from it, I think, can really cure your anxiety of it. As HA sufferers, we tend to look at the worst case scenarios. MS is not a terminal illness. It is a chronic condition that can be managed. No one wants the diagnosis, but out of the neurological disorders, MS is not so bad.

[Skkyee]

I think that was the very definition of a helpful and reassuring post :-)) Thank you

[jenjen2309]

Thank you I appreciate your reply. I suppose as a nurse I have only ever nursed very severely disabled MS patients who can't feed themselves or wash or do anything independently and I've become fixated on it.
I am taking diazepam at the minute which actually makes me unsteady and dizzy which almost heightened my symptoms.
How do you control your thoughts to some sort of rationale? At night is the worst time for me

[blondielady]

I used to work with a girl who really did have MS. You would never know it. She must have had good medications and vitamins because she didn't seem to be limited at all.

I too recently developed worsening anxiety which made me start googling, which of course led to a self-diagnosis of MS. Now I've moved on to convincing myself that I have diabetes and hypoglycemia. I've had blood tests and am told I'm medically fine... and that I have anxiety. I go through some days feeling pretty good, and other days convinced that my health is crashing and I'm going to somehow not be able to take care of my family. I think that's where the majority of my fear is coming from... the fear that something will happen to me and my kids won't be taken care of (their dad is barely capable and their stepdad works till they are in bed).

The anxiety causes shaking and trembling and tight muscles in my back. I sometimes get twitches when I'm really feeling freaked out. I've actually gone to bed shaking like I have hypothermia or something.

I'm nowhere near recovered (this all started a couple weeks ago... so I'm not expecting miracles yet) but I have had some pretty decent success with EFT tapping videos on youtube. I've also done some general meditation and some guided meditation on youtube. Sometimes after a session I feel so calm that there is a giant smile on my face and I'm hugging everyone (I'm not a hugger!!!). Its amazing how crappy your mind can make you feel, and how much ability you really have to change your mind!

---------- Post added at 19:39 ---------- Previous post was at 19:37 ----------

Oh and nighttime and mornings are the worst for me. My counselor told me this morning that a lot of times people have a hard time in the morning because they are facing all the tasks of the day and their brain is trying to process too many thing and anxiety creeps in. Anxiety tends to creep in when the brain isn't as busy with other activities so you tend to think too much and panic at night.

[jenjen2309]

Thank u blondielady it's a relief to hear that someone else has this fear. I posted elsewhere on site and was told that MS isn't a life sentence but I just don't want to have this disease it's my biggest fear. I too fear not being able to care for my family.
No matter what anyone says it never changes my feelings.
I went to bed also on Friday shivering with panic and was sick I was that worked up. I feel I have symptoms but doc says nothing wrong in brain and I'm waiting for blood results.
Thankfully for posting I feel relief when I read others feelings

---------- Post added at 21:11 ---------- Previous post was at 21:10 ----------

I will look on you tube for the tapping x

[Dolphin8808]

Mine goes between MS and ALS. Both of those really scare me. Badly. My mother in law has MS and is absolutely fine! But I am scared I would be a worse case scenario. The thought of being trapped in a body that I couldn't control? Scares the hell out of me.

I can totally understand your fears. I go for a EMG tomorrow for twitching as well. I need the peace of mind.