Irrational Anxiety about Pregnancy, I could really use some advice...

[Elainabeee]

Hi everyone!
I'm new to this forum; I think that I need some help. Actually, I do need some help.
Okay, let me start from the beginning. I'm 18 years old and in college; I have a steady boyfriend of nearly 3 years. We began having sex about two years ago; we always use a condom correctly and one has never broken. I started on the combination birth control pill about four months ago now; I take it every day as directed and have never missed a pill.
However, I have this irrational fear that maybe I'm pregnant from before I started on the birth control pill; even though we've never had a condom failure or used one improperly (we're very careful about checking for leaks, tears, and putting one on even before any foreplay starts), I worry all the time that maybe I'm five months pregnant from having sex before I went on the pill! Let me add that I have not missed any periods in these five months; they are on time, every month, and heavy.
Now, I have some symptoms such as sore breasts and occasional nausea; however, every symptom that I've had my doctor has explained to me as caused by starting on the pill, which makes sense, since it's an extra dose of hormones for my body.
I am making myself sick with worry; I can't focus on my school work or anything. This anxiety that I'm pregnant without knowing it gnaws away at me; some days are worse than others. Recently it's gotten to the point where I swear that I can feel movement inside of me; even though I tell myself it's gas or my pulse in my abdominal aorta when I'm lying down (I'm very thin so I can occasionally feel my abdominal pulse).
I did take a pregnancy test several months ago and it was negative, but that's the only one I've taken.
I guess what I'm looking for is reassurance and some tips on coping with this anxiety; since I have no real symptoms of pregnancy (including no missed periods or weight gain/baby bump) I know that it's so highly unlikely that I'm pregnant. But you know how it goes: you hear online or on TV about the person who never showed symptoms or gained weight, still got a regular period, and then had a baby nine months later. I live in constant fear that this is me. Someone please provide some help for me; I am at a loss for how to control this anxiety and get on with my life.
Thank you so much and God bless!

EDIT: I'd like to add that when I'm not worrying about being pregnant; I don't have symptoms, specifically I don't notice any strange twitches or feelings that could just be regular old gas in my stomach. For instance, since reading these responses, in the last hour I haven't been feeling anything strange in my stomach like I was all day when I was having an anxiety attack about being pregnant. I seem to notice every tiny little thing about my body when I'm in a state of pregnancy paranoia, but when I'm not, I'm fine and don't notice normal bodily things (i.e. the stomach twinges that I take to be a baby moving).

[Fishmanpa]

Welcome, there are a lot of good folks here.

You do realize from what you posted that being 5 months pregnant is impossible right? (no baby bump, regular periods, very, very careful about birth control etc.)

Anxiety is irrational and the way to cope is to get help from a qualified mental health professional that can equip you with the tools needed to quell the thoughts.

Positive thoughts

[Elainabeee]

Welcome, there are a lot of good folks here.

You do realize from what you posted that being 5 months pregnant is impossible right? (no baby bump, regular periods, very, very careful about birth control etc.)

Anxiety is irrational and the way to cope is to get help from a qualified mental health professional that can equip you with the tools needed to quell the thoughts.

Positive thoughts

Thank you so much for your response!
I realize that the odds of me being pregnant are so astronomically low that it's pretty much impossible, yet I can't stop worrying that maybe some semen was transferred from the used condom to another condom if we started having sex again soon after.
Nothing specifically happened five months ago that concerns me that I'm pregnant (i.e. no condom breaking, we always perfectly used protection...) so I'm not sure where this fear is stemming from.
I currently take Zoloft because I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (I was diagnosed when I was 12).

[Fishmanpa]

Thank you so much for your response!
I realize that the odds of me being pregnant are so astronomically low that it's pretty much impossible,

Yeah... I doubt you'll end up as one of those news rag stories about the woman who went to the hospital with stomach cramps and gave birth ~lol~ How nuts is that!? If you are, I might look to the heavens as the reason ;)

Do you have a therapist or counselor you can call?

Positive thoughts

[blondielady]

You may have some side effects from your birth control or something causing the sore breasts and stuff. I think that is pretty common. Seems like when I went on birth control I had sore breasts sometimes. It did mimic pregnancy a bit, but when you get heavy periods, there's no baby in there. I know those shows like "I didn't know I was pregnant" can freak you out a bit, but those women on there... most of them are not having periods and chalking it up to just "never being regular" or if they say they have had periods, they're usually just getting a little light spotting or something. But heavy periods... nope... you're not pregnant!

[Elainabeee]

Yeah... I doubt you'll end up as one of those news rag stories about the woman who went to the hospital with stomach cramps and gave birth ~lol~ How nuts is that!? If you are, I might look to the heavens as the reason ;)

Do you have a therapist or counselor you can call?

Positive thoughts

I don't currently have a psychiatrist; my pediatrician has been prescribing my Zoloft for a few months now.
The thing is, pregnancy is the only thing that gives me this debilitating anxiety; I very rarely have anxiety attacks anymore. I used to have them a lot but the Zoloft has really helped me; it's just this one thing that I constantly obsess over.
I can't stop obsessing over it in my mind; to me, every little twinge in my stomach is a baby kicking. Any strange symptom with my health, be it feeling a little more tired or a bit nauseous makes me think I'm pregnant. I honestly think I've begun causing symptoms because of my obsessive worry. Is it possible that when you're looking for symptoms, you see them more? Because I don't remember feeling twinges like this in my stomach in the past; now that I'm worried that I'm pregnant, I notice it all the time. Could it be that I'm noticing normal things like this about my body because of my constant pregnancy fear?

[blondielady]

How old are you? If you do get pregnant, what are the consequences? I think the fear creeping in sometimes is a way to tell us we are not entirely ready for the possibility of a baby and there's no 100% guarantee aside from abstinence. Its a big life step, realizing that you're capable of making a whole new life and also realizing you're not ready for that. I actually had a really hard time after my first marriage because I did NOT want to have a baby with my husband (that marriage should never have happened honestly). With my current husband, I have very little anxiety about pregnancy because I'm older and I know that both of us working together - we'd do fine. Just keep being diligent with taking your BC at the same time every day and use a backup method like a condom if you're still scared. You'll be ok as long as you are using everything properly.

[Elainabeee]

You may have some side effects from your birth control or something causing the sore breasts and stuff. I think that is pretty common. Seems like when I went on birth control I had sore breasts sometimes. It did mimic pregnancy a bit, but when you get heavy periods, there's no baby in there. I know those shows like "I didn't know I was pregnant" can freak you out a bit, but those women on there... most of them are not having periods and chalking it up to just "never being regular" or if they say they have had periods, they're usually just getting a little light spotting or something. But heavy periods... nope... you're not pregnant!

Thank you so much for responding as well!
It honestly calms me so much to read responses like yours; they reinforce what I already know.. when I see this type of reassurance, I can almost laugh at myself for being so paranoid and anxious; but within a short period of time, I'm back to worrying about "what if's" again... It makes me want to crawl into bed and just cry when I get like that, which is becoming more and more frequent! I've been reading on here about coping strategies; I really need to work on reasoning out my fears of pregnancy.
Just posting this thread helped me to get out everything I've wanted to say for so long; I haven't talked to anyone in my life about it.

---------- Post added at 14:48 ---------- Previous post was at 14:46 ----------


How old are you? If you do get pregnant, what are the consequences? I think the fear creeping in sometimes is a way to tell us we are not entirely ready for the possibility of a baby and there's no 100% guarantee aside from abstinence. Its a big life step, realizing that you're capable of making a whole new life and also realizing you're not ready for that. I actually had a really hard time after my first marriage because I did NOT want to have a baby with my husband (that marriage should never have happened honestly). With my current husband, I have very little anxiety about pregnancy because I'm older and I know that both of us working together - we'd do fine. Just keep being diligent with taking your BC at the same time every day and use a backup method like a condom if you're still scared. You'll be ok as long as you are using everything properly.

Sorry to double reply, but I am 18. I'm a college student, on the pre-med track. So being pregnant right now would honestly be the worst possible thing to happen to me; I'm not exaggerating. I really want kids someday, but not until I'm married and financially stable!
I'm trying to be very responsible about birth control; my doctor told me that using a condom and BC pill perfectly every time you have intercourse is about as effective at preventing pregnancy as you can get aside from abstinence.

[blondielady]

It does have an extremely high success rate if you are using everything properly. Even just birth control alone if taken at the same time every day is something like 98% effective. Then if you find yourself worrying that you'll be in the 2%, well.... I've heard a lot of times those are the people who go on an antibiotic or something that messes up the effectiveness of the BC. Also, rest assured that if you use a condom and it has not broken, you will not get pregnant. I think the only time I ever really panicked while using condoms was when one broke. Even then, there is always Plan B, if you're super scared, but your birth control should be enough.

[Elainabeee]

It does have an extremely high success rate if you are using everything properly. Even just birth control alone if taken at the same time every day is something like 98% effective. Then if you find yourself worrying that you'll be in the 2%, well.... I've heard a lot of times those are the people who go on an antibiotic or something that messes up the effectiveness of the BC. Also, rest assured that if you use a condom and it has not broken, you will not get pregnant. I think the only time I ever really panicked while using condoms was when one broke. Even then, there is always Plan B, if you're super scared, but your birth control should be enough.

Yeah I've actually read online that, under perfect use of both methods, BC pill and condoms combined have a success rate of 99.99% (based on the math).
My concern isn't really that I'm going to get pregnant now; the added security of the pill has me feeling okay about sex.
My irrational fear is that I got pregnant sometime before I went on the pill and I'm continuing to have normal periods/not gain a baby bump or have any other symptoms, but I'm still somehow pregnant.
If a condom didn't visibly tear or leak, and we used the water test to determine that there were no holes, does this mean that it was effective? Semen can't travel through the pores in the rubber of the condom, right?

[blondielady]

If you really want to make sure you're not pregnant, just ask the doctor to do a blood test for pregnancy hormones (if you don't trust the sticks at the store). Once they tell you you are not pregnant, you are FOR SURE not pregnant.

[Mindknot]

Ok, been there. All the twitches were IBS, gas and yep, my aorta. By my anxiety head's reckoning, I'm due next month, despite having actually lost weight, taken a number of (undisclosed) negative tests, not looking remotely bumpy, best abs in like my whole life.... - I'll let you know of course, but am now sure I'm not in that tiny tiny number of women who manage a completely unknown pregnancy, and I'm also fairly sure (as far as I can be from t'other side of the pond) that you aren't either.

My anx on this also started when I changed my birth control method (or rather, got updated - implant) and I think that's actually quite a lot more common than most women would like to admit... It's just a question of how much you let it take over your head and for how long, some people will do one test and the thought goes away, others - the extra anxious types, me and you - add up all the probabilities to try and find reassurance (I did that too!!!)... then think you can beat the odds anyway ;)
So why? Well, i think you do have to have a certain amount of trust in the BC, and yourself that you didn't do an "oops" (sounds like you didn't in any way)... plus the side effects of BC are sometimes not dissimilar to the symptoms of pregnancy - or PMS - or anxiety for that matter, and they all revolve around a slightly messed up hormones/head situation, so it can be bloody hard to sort it out when you are already in a high-anx state or of that mentality.... For me, it was that extra level of "have I not realised BECAUSE I thought it was side effects" that added the extra layer of mental complication... :blush:

And well, having cycled through extreme anxiety about a whole lot of diseases since, alongside and before, I've come to the conclusion that having an unexpected baby is probably the least frightening prospect - as a pre-med student, I think you should know that though! If it will help you in the time-being, factor in the extra minuscule chance that two people posting on the same anxiety forum BOTH beat those miniscule odds, and see what number you end up with then. :)

HTH, it certainly makes me feel like a silly plum head to tell the story :)

[blueangel]

If semen did manage to travel through a condom, there would be a lot more unplanned pregnancies and a lot more people sueing the manufacturers!

Look, one of the big symptoms of anxiety is seeking reassurance - read back your last post and you'll see that this is just what you're doing. Step away from asking the same question over and over again, and you'll be OK.

[popejoan]

I had the same fear when I was 19 years old, I think it was when I realized I had Ocd and anxiety. I've been on contraceptive pills for 10 years, my boyfriend and I had sex numbers of time without a condom and I never got pregnant. It's a good thing that you're using a condom, it prevents stds but trust me, contraceptives are very very safe and if you think you became pregnant before the pills you must have had a huge belly by now. If you want a peace of mind, just buy one of those cheap pregnancy tests and trust what the result says. Stop worrying, concentrate on studying and enjoy your life. You're absolutely fine :)

[Elainabeee]

Thank you so much to everyone who replied to me! I really appreciate the input :) I've gotten a lot calmer since yesterday; before I posted this yesterday afternoon I was throwing myself into a panic attack about the whole situation and could barely breathe. Now that I've read all of your helpful replies, I'm able to better reassure myself that the chances of me being far along in a pregnancy (without knowing it) just aren't there, and that I'm okay. I'm not concerned about birth control failures from now on, since I'm a perfect pill user and always, always use a condom! I doubt I'll be in that tiny percentage (the .01% a year that gets pregnant from using those two methods combined perfectly); it was just my anxiety about past sexual experiences before I started on oral contraceptives, fueled by the side effects of starting on the pill and above all, STRESS.
Much appreciation for all of you for being non-judgmental, and not being sarcastic with me as people on other forums and websites have. Just having this post on my account will help me; if I ever start to stress about pregnancy again (which I inevitably will with my anxiety) I can just come back here and read all your wonderful replies.
God bless :noangel: