PanicBlows
03-12-14, 00:57
Hi, everyone!
Obviously I am new to this site. I hope I am doing this correctly and that this hasn't been posted 1,000,000 times... I found the layout a bit confusing.
I am a 27-years-old female with three small kids (5, 3, and 14 months).
Anyway, I am actually new to panic and anxiety. It only started a few months ago. But since it has started, it has almost been non-stop.
My 3-year-old almost died a while back and I believe that is when the panic started. He is okay, thankfully. But I think it has caused some psychological issues with me.
First, it started with feeling like I couldn't breathe and that I was having a heart attack. I saw my GP who told me that my heart looks great and that he can tell me with 100% certainty that I am not having a heart attack and told me it sounds exactly like anxiety/panic. After he told me that, I felt better and was able to get over it for a bit.
Then one day I noticed that my right arm felt like it was losing strength. I never knew about ALS until the Ice Bucket Challenge and, while I really feel for those with this debilitating disease, there is a part of me that wishes I had never heard of it or read about it. OH MY GOODNESS... I did the dummest thing ever and decided to GOOGLE the feeling in my arm and what should result but ALS.... I immediately lost my dang mind. I was convinced that I was going to wake up and not be able to use my arm - that I was in the beginning stages of ALS.
Needless to say, that subsided but then something new started... my right leg started to feel the same way. Oh, and I noticed that I was experiencing twitching all over my body... I literally panicked about this for over a week STRAIGHT... 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It was horrible and the fear completely consumed me because I was absolutely convinced I have ALS. I did every single test you could think of because I was so sure that it was happening. I was terrified of getting it, mostly because I want to be here for my kids. I want to be able to hold them and take care of them the way I do now.
I am not sure what I did exactly but I actually overcame the fear on my own and for about 2 months, I did not have a single panic attack and didn't even notice the way my arm and leg felt or the twitches really.
Well, I can't believe I am back here... I am back to the all-consuming fear of ALS. Why? Because my jaw and tongue hurt. But they don't hurt like a cramp, it's more like they feel weird and I am noticing how truly uncomfortably our tongues sit in our mouth. Try it for yourself, pay attention to how your tongue and jaw and neck feel when you just sit, when you eat or when you swallow... you won't be able to un-notice it.
The worst part of this is that I KNOW that I am fine. Like, there is a part of my brain that is logical and is able to recognize that the things I am experiencing ARE NOT SYMPTOMS of ALS... But that part of my brain is apparently having trouble communicating that to the other side of my stupid brain.
I just feel so hopeless and like I'm never going to truly be able to overcome the fear because I could get it one day. There are no tests to rule it out or tell you if you're going to get it one day or not. I mean, I know that in a couple of months, when I realize that it is not progressing and therefore is NOT ALS, I will be okay..... for a little while. But I think the fear will kind of always be there. And it SUCKS! It makes me so depressed and, I know this is HORRIBLE, but sometimes, it makes me wish I was dead. Because then I wouldn't have to feel this fear. FDR said it perfectly when he said "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." So freaking true!
Have any of y'all experienced this? What do you or did you do that helps you not be so afraid? Honestly, any help would be so great. Even just to talk to someone who understands what I am going through would be great.
Obviously I am new to this site. I hope I am doing this correctly and that this hasn't been posted 1,000,000 times... I found the layout a bit confusing.
I am a 27-years-old female with three small kids (5, 3, and 14 months).
Anyway, I am actually new to panic and anxiety. It only started a few months ago. But since it has started, it has almost been non-stop.
My 3-year-old almost died a while back and I believe that is when the panic started. He is okay, thankfully. But I think it has caused some psychological issues with me.
First, it started with feeling like I couldn't breathe and that I was having a heart attack. I saw my GP who told me that my heart looks great and that he can tell me with 100% certainty that I am not having a heart attack and told me it sounds exactly like anxiety/panic. After he told me that, I felt better and was able to get over it for a bit.
Then one day I noticed that my right arm felt like it was losing strength. I never knew about ALS until the Ice Bucket Challenge and, while I really feel for those with this debilitating disease, there is a part of me that wishes I had never heard of it or read about it. OH MY GOODNESS... I did the dummest thing ever and decided to GOOGLE the feeling in my arm and what should result but ALS.... I immediately lost my dang mind. I was convinced that I was going to wake up and not be able to use my arm - that I was in the beginning stages of ALS.
Needless to say, that subsided but then something new started... my right leg started to feel the same way. Oh, and I noticed that I was experiencing twitching all over my body... I literally panicked about this for over a week STRAIGHT... 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It was horrible and the fear completely consumed me because I was absolutely convinced I have ALS. I did every single test you could think of because I was so sure that it was happening. I was terrified of getting it, mostly because I want to be here for my kids. I want to be able to hold them and take care of them the way I do now.
I am not sure what I did exactly but I actually overcame the fear on my own and for about 2 months, I did not have a single panic attack and didn't even notice the way my arm and leg felt or the twitches really.
Well, I can't believe I am back here... I am back to the all-consuming fear of ALS. Why? Because my jaw and tongue hurt. But they don't hurt like a cramp, it's more like they feel weird and I am noticing how truly uncomfortably our tongues sit in our mouth. Try it for yourself, pay attention to how your tongue and jaw and neck feel when you just sit, when you eat or when you swallow... you won't be able to un-notice it.
The worst part of this is that I KNOW that I am fine. Like, there is a part of my brain that is logical and is able to recognize that the things I am experiencing ARE NOT SYMPTOMS of ALS... But that part of my brain is apparently having trouble communicating that to the other side of my stupid brain.
I just feel so hopeless and like I'm never going to truly be able to overcome the fear because I could get it one day. There are no tests to rule it out or tell you if you're going to get it one day or not. I mean, I know that in a couple of months, when I realize that it is not progressing and therefore is NOT ALS, I will be okay..... for a little while. But I think the fear will kind of always be there. And it SUCKS! It makes me so depressed and, I know this is HORRIBLE, but sometimes, it makes me wish I was dead. Because then I wouldn't have to feel this fear. FDR said it perfectly when he said "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." So freaking true!
Have any of y'all experienced this? What do you or did you do that helps you not be so afraid? Honestly, any help would be so great. Even just to talk to someone who understands what I am going through would be great.