Legal problems killing me

[jimlfc6]

Hello, not posted on here for a good while. I have suffered for a long time with anxiety, in particular health anxiety.

Anyway a bit about myself,I am a 31 year old dad of four girls who I adore and am about to get married this month, I run my own business selling online.

I thought things were going well with my business, sales were good and people were very happy with my products, until 3 weeks ago trading standards showed up at my door and seized 200 of my items, it since turns out the 200 items are fine and are being returned, but alot of items earlier in the year were not okay, which they test purchased and are due to land me in a lot of trouble.

I know it's what everybody says in this situation, but I honestly did not know there was anything wrong with them. I have never been in trouble before so am panicking like most people would in this situation. This will end up going to court, which is scaring me.

I know its very normal to worry about something like this, but this is where the anxiety is kicking in, where people who deal with things better would let their solicitor deal with it, I cant seem to do that, I'm researching things every 10 minutes and scaring myself to death, I can't enjoy my time with my partner or children, as I feel as if I have let them down, and that they are going to be taken away from me. I want to look forward to my wedding, but I can't.

I am a fully grown man, crying every few hours, popping diazepam to try and numb the pain. Honestly I love my family, but I am having horrible thoughts which are getting me even more upset.

There is nothing I can do about this, everyone keeps saying you won't get locked up, its only going to be a big fine. Even the investigator has said that I am a thoroughly decent man, and there is no way on gods green earth that I will be jailed, it will just be a fine, but I can't help but fear for the worse. Genuine scared and not coping with it one bit, and not sure how much longer I can either.

[Oosh]

I'd find out what the realistic worst case scenario is and show myself how I will cope with that should it happen and then picture the good things that are going to happen in the next year regardless of this.
"It'll happen. A likely blah blah sized fine. I'll cover the fine in this way. Now I'd prefer to forget it all and focus on the football, wedding, children etc etc. when it happens I'll do THAT and continue to focus on these more enjoyable things"

I know it's hard, I'm the same but the trick is to do this and get your mind off it. You're free of the worry when you've forgotten it. And it's ok to forget it once you've that plan in place.

[jimlfc6]

I know what you are saying, but I am just thinking the worst possible thing is about to happen, no matter how much I worry, this is not going to end well and will be a horrible time of my life.

I am trying to show my kids there is nothing wrong, but I am not strong enough. I woke up crying my eyes out this morning, its pointless even trying to hide it, I am not coping. Like I say this should be the happiest time of my life, with the wedding and honeymoon, but I am worried I will ruin it for my mrs, by being like this. I don't mean to be and don't want to scare her, and upset her, but I really am struggling to cope. Horrible thoughts of me not being here are becoming more and more prominent, and all because of a genuine mistake.

The only thing that is just about getting me through is diazepam, I have been given 2 mg every day but have doubled the dose myself, to try and make the pain go away for a little bit.

[wabbit1]

I think anyone would find this stressful. I would probably be the same as you, however, assuming the worst will happen. Have you been back to your GP?

I just hope things are resolved quickly and you can move on from it.

I know you won't believe it but everything will be fine.

[jimlfc6]

I have been back to my gp, they have me diazepam and are referring me to see someone. The worst that can happen is prison, but people are saying that won't happen. The trading standards are saying that won't happen, it is likely to be monetary.

Nothing is happening until mid January now, so where most people would enjoy their wedding, honeymoon and xmas, it's killing me getting through every single day. Scared I will ruin it for everyone to top off the anxieties. Had enough.

[jimlfc6]

I can't stop crying. I feel sucidal. I was watching my kids Christmas show at school holding back the tears thinking this will be the last time I see her do a Christmas show. I'm even crying writing this now. It's not going away.