How Do I Keep My Hands Off Myself?

[CalicoCalm94]

Hello everyone! Long time reader first time poster here.

I have horrible Health Anxiety, it hit me pretty hard a few months ago and it's been consistent.

I've been self checking a lot lately, it's getting to be something of an obsession. I've given myself small bruises, caused my lymph nodes to swell (which convinced me I had breast cancer) and I've caused little sore spots all over my body from repeatedly pressing on them.

I swear I find something new every time and it really scares me, I'm seeing the doctor again in a few days because I think I've found another lump on my breast (which I'm pretty sure is just a natural bump, but of course I can't let go of the 'C' word) it's driving me up the wall and I'm really not doing myself any favours.

Does anyone have any coping techniques or ways you distract yourself before the thoughts get worse and you start poking at yourself again?

Thank you :D

[bluetopazgirl]

I would just like to say I am exactly the same!! I have three swollen nodes which made me start prodding and I prod all day everyday and made everything lumpy, bumpy and extremely sore!

no advice really but wanted you to know others like myself are in the same boat on those rocky seas!

[cattia]

I struggle with checking my breasts too, I'm pregnant at the moment so I know there is a pretty good chance if I poke around for long enough I will find some lumps and bumps. I'm also quite obsessive about checking moles and sometimes I have this with checking the inside of my mouth for white spots etc.

I don't really have any answers, but maybe try to set time limits on your checking, like you're only going to check at certain times of day, then try to stretch it out more and more so it becomes less frequent. The mole I am freaking out about a the moment is on my breast so at least I can only check it when I get dressed and undressed!

[CalicoCalm94]

Hi! Thank you so much for replying, I'm so glad I'm not alone :)

But it is getting ridiculous, I was sitting with a friend last night and began prodding the front of my neck. I started to panic a little as I found two bumps and immediately told my friend, she went quiet and said "I'm pretty sure that's your voice box"

Honestly, It's insane what you own mind can do to you!

[Canbud]

It's interesting, because as a Hodgkin Lymphoma survivor I NEVER purposely feel for nodes. NEVER. Not in 25 years. Which is actually funny because I found my original node myself, but it was a total accident.

I leave all the prodding and poking to my doctor because they know what they're doing.

[CalicoCalm94]

I like the idea of time limits, or setting aside times in the day to quickly check and maybe weaning myself off that way? I could give that a go.

[Fishmanpa]

It's interesting, because as a Hodgkin Lymphoma survivor I NEVER purposely feel for nodes. NEVER. Not in 25 years. Which is actually funny because I found my original node myself, but it was a total accident.

I leave all the prodding and poking to my doctor because they know what they're doing.

Same here as a head and neck cancer survivor. I have a couple of funky things I'll have my GP check out next week at my 6 month check but other than that? Nope.

Here's a suggestion for the ladies... if you have a significant other, have them check for you. I'm sure they won't mind and it could turn out to be a lot of fun for both of you! :D

Positive thoughts

[Mindknot]

Here's what's weird, I think I've always been an obsessive checker/fiddler/whatever you want to call it, even before those checks were associated with some form of HA - I'm a total fidget and so will pick spots incessantly, chew ulcers in my mouth... I'm quite good at not picking scabs, but that's about it... so I've been a flipping nightmare with checks during HA. I've yet to start CBT (waiting list) and I'd be interested to know whether they think that all those are anxiety behaviours or just an ongoing part of my personality.... anyway, I've tried to restrain myself where it's a HA concern and divert my energies into checking things/fiddling with things that I'm not worried about instead - e.g. my ring, watch, chewing gum... anything else that's not currently the thing that makes me anxious if possible. It's probably not the best strategy and I'm sure any CBT therapist will tell me off, but it tides me over for now...

That might not help much, more an observation, I'm trying to figure out my behaviours at the mo. :shrug:

[Gaga]

I have this problem too, it can be a major issue because I do it to my children too. My son has recently had stomach bug then an ear infection, so hes been off for abit. Anyway I was constantly checking his temperature and still am just in case! I'm always on the look out for nodes too, its becoming a bit of a ritual now. He is getting annoyed with me, but I can't help myself, I feel I might 'miss something if i don't check. He is well again now and I'm not doing it as much but everyone one of my children gets ill I'm a nightmare. I have phases with checking my breasts, groin, neck anywhere slightly lumpy too. How awful it is.

[vpfrends]

I am struggling with this at the moment. I've been obsessively pressing on my stomach because I thought it felt hard, and then I couldn't stop when I read that could be caused by stomach cancer. I've felt lumps in my armpits before which made me convinced I had breast cancer as well, but those went away (just clogged sweat glands I think). So I know how you feel and it's awful! But I have a GP appointment soon so hopefully I will get some peace of mind.

My only advice when you think you feel something on your body is to stay calm, to remind yourself that poking it and checking it over and over won't solve anything, and that no matter how much panic you feel the danger (say if god forbid it was cancer, which is very probably isn't) is not immediate - these things take time. So if you're worried, get it checked out, but please if you have catastrophising thoughts (as I do!) remember your fear is driven by anxiety, which blows everything out of proportion. And the worst thing for me is being alone with my anxiety, so if possible tell someone else about it, and you will honestly feel more in control. I hope this helps a bit :)