CA88
06-12-14, 23:11
Hello Everybody! I have registered here today because I feel absolutely awful again, and I need to talk to like minded people really, to try and sort myself out.
So a little background to me. I am 26 years old, previously healthy, bit of a worrier but nothing too much, working stressful hours in a job I really didn't like. I'd like to say anxiety came out of the blue, but perhaps not, because toward the last six months in that job I had become very short tempered and angry, and would randomly shout at people where before I'd keep quiet. Perhaps this was a sign I wasn't coping with the stress.
Anyway, two weeks before I was due to leave for a new job, having handed my notice in, whilst driving home from a visit to my parents, 1 hour into a 2.5 hour drive, I suddenly got this intense lightheadnesses and thought I was going to pass out there and then. I had had this before and been sent home from work feeling light headed, but had put it down to having not eaten on that occasion. Anyway, I forced myself to drive home, in some sort of panic, crying some of the way, and stopping at regular intervals. I made it home, and crawled into bed convinced I wasn't going to wake up.
I did wake up, got ready for work, but when I got in the car the lightheadedness was still there, and I phoned in sick. There I remained for the final two weeks of my notice period. During this time I visited the doctor, by now convinced i had something seriously wrong, and was told he thought it was just anxiety, and sent me on my way telling me to calm down a a bit.
Within two days, I was back having noticed my left eye had started to feel 'out of focus' though not exactly blurry. Again he had a quick look in my eyes, told me he still thought it was anxiety, and dispatched me to my opticians for a check just in case.
Optician had a look, dilated my pupils etc, and found nothing wrong. I returned to my doctor to report these findings and that my lightheadnesses wasn't getting much better. I could hardly get off the sofa, and I lost a stone in weight as I couldn't eat. He stuck by anxiety but ran some blood tests to 'be sure' The results of these came back fine.
I eventually had to pick myself up off the floor and force myself to go out to start my new job, rather than end up unemployed, and the first two weeks was hell. Constant lightheadedness, panic caused by it, and inability to focus. I became too scared to go into the supermarket after a panic attack there. If what I am suffering is indeed panic attacks - as I don't feel the classic heart racing etc, I just get very light headed, and an urge to run away and lie down.
Anyway over the weeks and having read a lot of things telling me to get out there and face my anxiety, I did start to feel better gradually. The constant lightheadedness disappeared and I was able to function normally mostly, though still in constant fear of it coming back, and every bodily sensation worrying me and leading me to think I had something going on. I've had headaches, stomach cramps, chest pains, random vomiting, tight throat, dry mouth, all at random times, rather than during an anxiety attack, and I have learnt to stop myself going into a complete panic, but i still can't help thinking about them when they happen. I get stuck in my own head wondering and thinking and can't seem to keep track of conversations or social situations sometimes.
Since getting to that stage, about 2 months later, I am finding that I am so tired all of the time, by the time I finish work each day I just want to sleep. The 'off focus' feeling in my left eye comes and goes, I've noticed my heart beating very hard sometimes, and the lightheadness will spring up occasionally but only briefly.
I am convinced I have a brain tumour, I can't shake that feeling. All the symptoms could fit. The tiredness, the lightheadedness, the headaches, the vision issues. I keep telling myself if it was that it'd be constant and getting worse not just some days.
Anyway after about 2 weeks of not really thinking about it, and convincing myself I was over the worst of this 'anxiety' I got home last night, and began wondering about my tiredness and other symptoms. This morning, I woke up feeling super lightheaded, and the eye thing is back.
Is this really anxiety? If it is why did it start suddenly? I feel like every day will be the day that I collapse... This is destroying my life. I'm sorry if this seems rambly, it's difficult for me to express how i feel and explain everything.
So a little background to me. I am 26 years old, previously healthy, bit of a worrier but nothing too much, working stressful hours in a job I really didn't like. I'd like to say anxiety came out of the blue, but perhaps not, because toward the last six months in that job I had become very short tempered and angry, and would randomly shout at people where before I'd keep quiet. Perhaps this was a sign I wasn't coping with the stress.
Anyway, two weeks before I was due to leave for a new job, having handed my notice in, whilst driving home from a visit to my parents, 1 hour into a 2.5 hour drive, I suddenly got this intense lightheadnesses and thought I was going to pass out there and then. I had had this before and been sent home from work feeling light headed, but had put it down to having not eaten on that occasion. Anyway, I forced myself to drive home, in some sort of panic, crying some of the way, and stopping at regular intervals. I made it home, and crawled into bed convinced I wasn't going to wake up.
I did wake up, got ready for work, but when I got in the car the lightheadedness was still there, and I phoned in sick. There I remained for the final two weeks of my notice period. During this time I visited the doctor, by now convinced i had something seriously wrong, and was told he thought it was just anxiety, and sent me on my way telling me to calm down a a bit.
Within two days, I was back having noticed my left eye had started to feel 'out of focus' though not exactly blurry. Again he had a quick look in my eyes, told me he still thought it was anxiety, and dispatched me to my opticians for a check just in case.
Optician had a look, dilated my pupils etc, and found nothing wrong. I returned to my doctor to report these findings and that my lightheadnesses wasn't getting much better. I could hardly get off the sofa, and I lost a stone in weight as I couldn't eat. He stuck by anxiety but ran some blood tests to 'be sure' The results of these came back fine.
I eventually had to pick myself up off the floor and force myself to go out to start my new job, rather than end up unemployed, and the first two weeks was hell. Constant lightheadedness, panic caused by it, and inability to focus. I became too scared to go into the supermarket after a panic attack there. If what I am suffering is indeed panic attacks - as I don't feel the classic heart racing etc, I just get very light headed, and an urge to run away and lie down.
Anyway over the weeks and having read a lot of things telling me to get out there and face my anxiety, I did start to feel better gradually. The constant lightheadedness disappeared and I was able to function normally mostly, though still in constant fear of it coming back, and every bodily sensation worrying me and leading me to think I had something going on. I've had headaches, stomach cramps, chest pains, random vomiting, tight throat, dry mouth, all at random times, rather than during an anxiety attack, and I have learnt to stop myself going into a complete panic, but i still can't help thinking about them when they happen. I get stuck in my own head wondering and thinking and can't seem to keep track of conversations or social situations sometimes.
Since getting to that stage, about 2 months later, I am finding that I am so tired all of the time, by the time I finish work each day I just want to sleep. The 'off focus' feeling in my left eye comes and goes, I've noticed my heart beating very hard sometimes, and the lightheadness will spring up occasionally but only briefly.
I am convinced I have a brain tumour, I can't shake that feeling. All the symptoms could fit. The tiredness, the lightheadedness, the headaches, the vision issues. I keep telling myself if it was that it'd be constant and getting worse not just some days.
Anyway after about 2 weeks of not really thinking about it, and convincing myself I was over the worst of this 'anxiety' I got home last night, and began wondering about my tiredness and other symptoms. This morning, I woke up feeling super lightheaded, and the eye thing is back.
Is this really anxiety? If it is why did it start suddenly? I feel like every day will be the day that I collapse... This is destroying my life. I'm sorry if this seems rambly, it's difficult for me to express how i feel and explain everything.