Major HA - New to Forum - Looking for advice

[JodieB0986]

Hi All

Well.... I am new to this forum and after reading through so many of the replies and discussions on here, it appears that I am not alone as I so often think I am. Let me briefly explain about my own personal fears.

In the last month or two - I have diagnosed myself with the following. HIV, Cervical Cancer, Brain Tumour, Ovarian Cancer, Heart Attack, MS and Motor Neurone Disease.

HIV Test - CLEAR
Smear Test - NORMAL
Osteopathic reflex tests - NORMAL
Blood Pressure - NORMAL
Eye Sight - PERFECT


So far in the last month, I have seen and had the following feedback:

Main GP - Nothing wrong, prescribed me Citalopram which I took for 5 days and instantly regretted it due to the enhancement of my anxiety. Checked my ears (as have suffered from some pressure/ringing) - said all was ok and healthy
Clinical Nurse - Went complaining about leg tingling and muscle twitches - done a couple of tests, everything fine - explained that I need CBT therapy
2nd GP - Cried my eyes out to her about my symptoms and she advised that I had nothing to worry about. Checked temperature and blood pressure - all ok.
Osteopath - Severe neck and shoulder tension that radiated into my head. She run some tests, checked reflexes, vision, balance and took history of health - confirmed was ok and nothing to worry about. Been 3 times, same story each time. All ok.
Optician 1 - Routine eye test, everything fine - perfect vision
Optician 2 - Went back a couple of days ago as have been getting a tiny flicker in corner of left eye - more noticeable in light and work (Computers) ran more tests and checked eyes thoroughly - all ok and said I had nothing to worry about and said I seemed stressed. Again, perfect vision.
Telephone doctor from my surgery - Worried about the flickering in my left eye even though Optician said I was ok and she advised nothing to worry about as the Opticians said both times eye was healthy and had it down to stress and maybe light at work. Advised meditation and relaxing.

But the main thing that is bothering me is why I can't I just take the medical advice I have been given and move on from it. 3 GP's, an Osteopath, a Nurse and 2 Opticians can't be wrong - funny they all said the same thing - ANXIETY and STRESS! I have been under a lot of it lately - had to move jobs, may need to move home and my best friend is moving to Australia - it's had a knock on effect to say the least!

I am currently suffering from headaches, tension to the point my shoulders and neck are solid and having this eye flicker. Also, some pulsing in my ear comes and goes. In fact, ALL these symptoms come and go when I RELAX more.

What I want to know is can Anxiety really cause all this? I need to accept the fact it could be and take notice from the advice of 7 different professional people but it is easier said than done. I am working alone a lot at my current job and the fears seem to take over more here. In the morning, evening or weekend I don't notice it so much.

I suppose I am just looking for people to chat to going through the same things as me as I think it would help.

Sorry for the ramble - hope to hear back from some people!

[Mindknot]

Hi Jodie, :welcome:

I think that you'll find as you read through this forum that a lot of us have been through this at various points! The symptoms of anxiety are horrible and it's really hard to distinguish what's what. However you've had a number of visits to specialists and they have all told you that it's anxiety, so your best course of action is to treat it AS anxiety.

Will your doctor refer you to CBT therapy? It's worth checking. I'm still on the wait list at the moment, but just knowing that I've done something about treating my anxiety has helped me a lot. Didn't want to take medication.

You may find it difficult to relax yourself until all these big stresses you talked about have passed, though you can lighten the load on yourself by trusting the doctors etc when they say that you are not ill. Regards the twitches, floaters in your eye etc, you will find plenty of posts on this forum from people experiencing similar things, there is also lots of stuff on the main "symptoms" page.

I've managed to calm down a lot from where I was a few months ago by making sure that any reading I am doing is anxiety related, so if you find yourself worrying about a symptom, check these forums first or if you have to Google, type symptom+anxiety. You will soon see how various the symptoms are for people experiencing anxiety. It may seem difficult to talk about anxiety, but it helped me a lot to find out that a number of people I know had been through similar, and to be able to offload on someone who's patient enough to listen, or on here. :)

I hope this helps a bit, sometimes it takes a while to come round to the idea of treating the anxious mind and not the symptoms.

[KayeS]

I've had a flickering in the periphery of my right eye since March of this year. And also muscle twitches that started a couple of months later. Got told by an Ophthalmologist that my optic discs were enlarged in both eyes indicating cranial pressure and I instantly decided that I had a brain tumour. I had an MRI that came back normal. I also had an EMG test which came back normal.

I still have the flickering, and have just had a second brain MRI which includes the neck this time and should have the results tomorrow, but I was totally convinced that my first MRI and also the EMG would come back showing I have an awful illness, and neither did.

It's actually interesting to hear from someone who has had this eye flickering as I couldn't fund anyone who's been experiencing the same thing. Do you mind if I ask you to describe exactly what it's like?

[courierdude]

i get a flicker in the eye sometime, a real crazy person twitch even, i dont think it is the same thing that steve is talking about but in my case it was magnesium deficiency.. easily resolved by eating some dark chocolate! might apply to the OP if ever looking for an excuse : )

[snowflake293]

Hi Jodie

Sounds like you have had a horrible time of it lately. You aren't alone though and lots of people here understand. I only signed up to this forum a few days ago, and it has already helped by offering me so much comfort hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.

I agree with Mindknot, CBT is definitely worth looking into. I have had 2 sessions so far and it is really useful.

I have a bad back but the anxiety makes it so much worse, I get awful knots in my shoulders and neck - I recently treated myself to a deep tissue massage though and it really helped. I have heard that anxiety can cause muscle tension, digestion problems, headaches allsorts. I was convinced I had throat cancer a few months ago as I was having sharp pains in my throat and what felt like a lump when I was swallowing, the dr said it was something called 'globus' and was anxiety related and eventually it went away!

I hope coming here and talking to others helps you and definitely look into the CBT.

Snowflake xx

[JodieB0986]

Hi All

Thanks a lot for your replies, definitely is nice (in a way) to know I am not alone.

I bought a book yesterday called 'Overcoming Health Anxiety' by David Veale and finding it helps quite a bit and when I take my mind off of things I don't seem to notice anything half as much.

I have asked regarding CBT but the list is long so been looking into it privately (EXPENSIVE MUCH!!)

Steve - the flicker I have is a weird one. It comes and goes. It's in the corner of my left eye - no light flashing, just almost there is a twitching nerve in my eye but not on the eyelid like most people experience. 2 Opticians said my eyes were healthy and couldn't see anything wrong and that is more than likely stress related or maybe something to do with light sensitivity as I notice it more in light and on my work computer. I spoke to the GP yesterday (as yet again, I couldn't possibly just take the words of TWO Optometrists haha) and again she said it's anxiety related and that meditation may help. She said if you pay more attention to things then you will notice them a lot more. I mentioned the dreaded 'brain tumour' to her and she dismissed it and said NO straight away. It's all triggered by this horrible anxious feeling we have. Hope this helps.

Thanks again for your replies. Much appreciated.

Does anyone here live in London and know of any groups etc to possibly help this?

[courierdude]

eat some dark chocolate and your twitch will be gone in hours.

[JodieB0986]

I had some dark chocolate an hour ago - my flicker seems to have stopped!! Haha! Is this real??? I won't speak too soon but I had a self evaluation session over my lunch break and I have now put a lot of my symptoms down to poor posture aswell as anxiety and makes more sense. I have forward head posture from years of working at a computer so that could also be causing my head, neck and shoulders to be working overtime.

Turns out a bit of positive thinking and dark chocolate can do the trick! Maybe now I should listen to the doctors advice and not think the worst!

---------- Post added at 13:55 ---------- Previous post was at 13:50 ----------

Thanks courierdude!

[Mindknot]

Bad posture can be a biggie, I have the forward head thing too, and am WAY more anxious when at work on the computer. Have been seeing an osteopath and there are so many (physical) stress factors involved - she said I was basically squeezing one of the nerves that runs up your neck there, and that can cause all sorts of weirdness plus, hunching forward with your shoulders means that all your stomach/chest area is all squished up so that you are unable to breathe properly - and lack of breathing properly can cause all sorts of chemical imbalances in your body... It's all physical stresses on your system at the end of the day and that in itself can also increase anxiety. That's just the gist of what I've been told anyway, as I can't remember all the details, but it's worth bearing in mind. A bit of osteopathic clicking has certainly helped me chill out a bit. :smile: Just annoying that it's also rather expensive...

[courierdude]

chocolate has magnesium in yes, and its worked for my own occasional twitchy eye.

one less thing to worry about no?