shane247
12-12-14, 19:55
Hi, I'm 30 yrs old male who never had any serious illness (some minor difficulties with iron deficiency and stomach problems due to being nervous during school times) but two years ago something went wrong.
It was summer and after my b-day i got serious stomach problems (probably due to partying, alcohol and junk food i was putting in myself that summer), lost 22 pounds in one month, couldn't eat anything and was constantly in pain. Also this strange feeling of not being able to get enough air which i would feel throughout the day really started to frighten me. This was first time i thought i wasn't going to last long. Went from one doctor to another, they all performed endoscopy, got numerous ultrasounds. One would diagnose GERD, other one GERD with hiatus hernia, third one duodentitis with all of the above.
Anyway, i was prescribed nexium and after one month symptoms started to slightly subside but one was persistent. It was that scary shortness of breath. Sometimes it was so hard i couldn't even finish a sentence. Visited cardiology and pulmonary specialist, did stress test, spirometry, color doppler of heart, everything was normal. I also started to wake up at night having some kind of "attacks" (probably panic attacks which included this strange feeling in head, nausea, feeling like i would drop dead, afterwards started shaking and feeling really tired but glad that attack is over). Went twice to ER during those attacks but everything was fine except blood pressure and heart rate being elevated, probably from panicking. Started avoiding social events at first, then got nervous when i got outside of the house, finally stopped having any contacts with my friends. Also had fear from going to sleep. Because of this attacks, i thought that gerd or hiatus hernia wasn't responsible for all that, i felt like there was something else. I think this is the moment when my health anxiety peaked. I was using google everyday and could clearly see a pattern in my behavior but nothing i could do against it. Pain in shoulder - lung cancer fear- trip to pulmonologist -all tests clear - pain goes away in few days. Pain under ribs and constipation - bowel cancer fear - after positive fecal occult test caused by eating red meat during testing (wasn't told i shouldn't do that) - colonoscopy - results normal - all symptoms went away after a week. Loss of appetite, pain in left rib, constant nausea - pancreatic cancer - MRI of the abdomen - results normal - symptoms bye bye...
So where am i today? After few good and bad periods, i am now unemployed, financially depleted, socially crippled. I also got another symptom/illness i'm currently obsessed about. Two months ago, i got this pain slightly above and behind my knee, no swelling, redness, pain comes and goes, not linked with exertion. Visited two doctors because this must be blood clot. They both disagree with my diagnosis (ultrasound showed partial rupture of muscle). But again i consulted Dr. Google. Blood clot doesn't have to show any symptoms and you can die if clot travels to lungs. So last month i developed constant pressure/tightness/cramps in both sides of my upper ribs, shortness of breath on exertion, fatigue, unusual weakness and nausea, all of them getting worse as the time goes by. Also night attacks are back with these symptoms being intensified. This is it, i am having pulmonary embolism. My lungs are filling with small clots and its just matter of time when my lungs will collapse or i'll get one big clot which will speed things up. I mentioned PE to doctors but they say its acute and symptoms are very dramatic. That calms me down for a while. But WHAT IF they are wrong? Dr. Google says that PE is hard to diagnose. How can they be so sure? I found comments of people on internet who suffered PE and some of them felt mild symptoms days/weeks before they collapsed. One felt it for 5 years. WHAT IF this is my case? WHAT IF all of my problems that started 2 years ago and are making my life miserable are due to PE ( or whatever will it be next time)?
Although i got reassured from two doctors and several threads on this site about PE that this new symptoms are probably not related to PE, dark side takes all over me and the vicious cycle continues. Now i just have to wait for weekend to end to make another visit to a doctor.
Sorry for the long post but i just had to write this. If i read any post on this site two years ago, i probably couldn't understand why you just don't stop this way of thinking but now i can relate to you and how hard it is to get out of this nightmare.
It was summer and after my b-day i got serious stomach problems (probably due to partying, alcohol and junk food i was putting in myself that summer), lost 22 pounds in one month, couldn't eat anything and was constantly in pain. Also this strange feeling of not being able to get enough air which i would feel throughout the day really started to frighten me. This was first time i thought i wasn't going to last long. Went from one doctor to another, they all performed endoscopy, got numerous ultrasounds. One would diagnose GERD, other one GERD with hiatus hernia, third one duodentitis with all of the above.
Anyway, i was prescribed nexium and after one month symptoms started to slightly subside but one was persistent. It was that scary shortness of breath. Sometimes it was so hard i couldn't even finish a sentence. Visited cardiology and pulmonary specialist, did stress test, spirometry, color doppler of heart, everything was normal. I also started to wake up at night having some kind of "attacks" (probably panic attacks which included this strange feeling in head, nausea, feeling like i would drop dead, afterwards started shaking and feeling really tired but glad that attack is over). Went twice to ER during those attacks but everything was fine except blood pressure and heart rate being elevated, probably from panicking. Started avoiding social events at first, then got nervous when i got outside of the house, finally stopped having any contacts with my friends. Also had fear from going to sleep. Because of this attacks, i thought that gerd or hiatus hernia wasn't responsible for all that, i felt like there was something else. I think this is the moment when my health anxiety peaked. I was using google everyday and could clearly see a pattern in my behavior but nothing i could do against it. Pain in shoulder - lung cancer fear- trip to pulmonologist -all tests clear - pain goes away in few days. Pain under ribs and constipation - bowel cancer fear - after positive fecal occult test caused by eating red meat during testing (wasn't told i shouldn't do that) - colonoscopy - results normal - all symptoms went away after a week. Loss of appetite, pain in left rib, constant nausea - pancreatic cancer - MRI of the abdomen - results normal - symptoms bye bye...
So where am i today? After few good and bad periods, i am now unemployed, financially depleted, socially crippled. I also got another symptom/illness i'm currently obsessed about. Two months ago, i got this pain slightly above and behind my knee, no swelling, redness, pain comes and goes, not linked with exertion. Visited two doctors because this must be blood clot. They both disagree with my diagnosis (ultrasound showed partial rupture of muscle). But again i consulted Dr. Google. Blood clot doesn't have to show any symptoms and you can die if clot travels to lungs. So last month i developed constant pressure/tightness/cramps in both sides of my upper ribs, shortness of breath on exertion, fatigue, unusual weakness and nausea, all of them getting worse as the time goes by. Also night attacks are back with these symptoms being intensified. This is it, i am having pulmonary embolism. My lungs are filling with small clots and its just matter of time when my lungs will collapse or i'll get one big clot which will speed things up. I mentioned PE to doctors but they say its acute and symptoms are very dramatic. That calms me down for a while. But WHAT IF they are wrong? Dr. Google says that PE is hard to diagnose. How can they be so sure? I found comments of people on internet who suffered PE and some of them felt mild symptoms days/weeks before they collapsed. One felt it for 5 years. WHAT IF this is my case? WHAT IF all of my problems that started 2 years ago and are making my life miserable are due to PE ( or whatever will it be next time)?
Although i got reassured from two doctors and several threads on this site about PE that this new symptoms are probably not related to PE, dark side takes all over me and the vicious cycle continues. Now i just have to wait for weekend to end to make another visit to a doctor.
Sorry for the long post but i just had to write this. If i read any post on this site two years ago, i probably couldn't understand why you just don't stop this way of thinking but now i can relate to you and how hard it is to get out of this nightmare.