Uncontrollable Anxiety

[steph25]

Right now my anxiety is uncontrollable and I don't know what to do about it.

It's going to sound pathetic but I get anxious about my boyfriends safety. We live in London, it's a big place and his work has lots of parties and after work socialising. They are journalists and they drink a lot and my boyfriend has been drinking a lot lately too and I worry that something will happen to him when he drinks.

If I can't get hold of him (which can only be between 2-4 hours) I completely lose the plot and think something has happened to him, despite knowing that is unlikely.

I don't get anxious about him cheating, it is only about his safety and what if something bad has happened to him and I don't know how to control it.

I have been to the doctors and he's put me on a few different types of anxiety medication over the past year but nothing helps and I don't know what to do.

It's his works Christmas party tonight and I am trying to hard to stay calm. I'm trying to tell myself that yes he is drinking quite a lot but so are loads of people around the country and they are okay.

Background information:

My Mum's an alcoholic, a serious one. Last year she was given weeks to live and by some miracle she came off it about a year ago and has stayed off it.

When I was a child she used to drink and then disappear for a few days, which is what is scaring me I think.

I've also lost a few people close to me to suicide, so I am very much aware of death and losing a loved one terrifies me.

Does anyone have any tips on how to control it?

[Oosh]

I can understand you being worried. Hard not to be in those circumstances. But, your husbands not your mum. They don't share any genes responsible for alcoholism and are completely different people. No doubt your husband is simply being a social drinker and is very safe and in control.

Try and notice if you're playing a little nightmare scenario movie in your head when you imagine what he's doing. This plays and the anxious feelings follow.
But you're in control of that little movie that plays so play a different movie instead that leaves you at ease, then get on with something else and if you're going to think about him, think of that new movie that puts you at ease. Don't let the scary movie play anymore. Stop it in its tracks before it starts.

Eg
Picture him a bit tipsy and having a laugh and a joke. He's very aware of himself and others and in control and maybe somebody around him is the type of person who gets a bit too drunk so picture him being responsible and keeping an eye on them.
Remember occasions when he's been responsible and looked out for others to reinforce this view of him. Then just forget. He'll be back in no time.