View Full Version : How would you cope with a cancer diagnosis?
I have to see the colorectal consultant next week after getting a raised marker back on a stool test....as you can imagine I am terrified. They've obviously referred me quickly and it's going to ruin Christmas totally. Can't think straight...am up now having a meltdown and made the mistake of reading some cancer books on my kindle so even worse. People say you just cope with it but I know I couldn't....it's the most horrific thing and for what? I just want to pack a bag and get in the car and go...but where??? There is no escape...what on earth is this life all about???? I know we can be struck down anytime but I can't cope with the thought of all that terrible suffering and scans and surgery and then only to be told that it's all hopeless. As you can see, I am having a meltdown and I am sorry for the post but I have been trying to look for some out of hours support and apart from the Samaritans there isn't any. The word cancer makes me wretch in fear. I rang a bowel cancer helpline yesterday but that made me worse as the nurse sounded about 21 and just spoke about procedures etc and was no comfort or had any empathy for the fear I am going through. Sorry, but I don't know where to turn....I don't usually get many replies on here to my posts but I needed to get it down somewhere...
Have faith...its going to be alright... really its going to be alright and the cancer books..well .. I think although everyone would say its a bad idea to read them,,,actually can help to understand options just in case but then again better to know and not know..Keep the faith.. really everything is gonna be alright.. hugs..
---------- Post added at 23:35 ---------- Previous post was at 23:34 ----------
Sorry meant to say know and not need to know than not know and need too.. sorry.. computer makes mistakes for me ..I don't even need to be stupid lol..:)
What is a raised marker? Doesn't sound like it's a cancer diagnosis? Is it blood in stools?
Thank you for responding guys.
Mnhaha....don't seem to be able to open your pm...
Tan...had a new stool test called a cal protection which shows difference between ibs and inflammatory markers...has come back with inflammatory markers...cancer shows in this test as an inflammatory marker...I have had a previous episode of Crohns but over 30 years ago but my symptoms are not of that as I know them...no blood in stool and all bloods ok but terrible urgent episodes of diorreaha once a day, really bad smelly...low backache and no appetite, weight loss...all cancer symptoms and when read books thru the night most bowel cancer sufferers were like this...plus they've fast tracked me....
I tried to pm you again..don't know if you got it.
I don't think it's cancer, I just don't. Those markers can be so many things, and my Dr tells me she doesn't like those tests as even healthy people can have elevated markers that are normal. I asked her for one for ovarian cancer and she told me she'd rather I did other tests as a lot of 'marker' tests can be high and they don't mean cancer. We jumpt to the worst don't we, I think I might have colon cancer at the moment, my Dr never ordered that test though, but I might consider it now. I think given you're saying you had a previous episode of Chrohns point to it being that. Chrohns - from what i know, doesn't just leave you, it stays with you doesn't it? MY Dr has it and he tells me he has it under control, so I'm assuming, as you should that that is probably what it is?
---------- Post added at 08:19 ---------- Previous post was at 08:18 ----------
They've probably fast tracked you because it's Xmas - they want to get you in and out and sorted.
I know it's hard, but I think you'll be fine.
That's just it tho Tan..Crohns doesn't present like this...and it's not flared for 30 years and there was some doubt about the diagnosis at the time. Plus my age is against me..I am 58 ...
---------- Post added at 10:27 ---------- Previous post was at 08:46 ----------
Considering most people on here have HA I expected more replies...
Serenity1990
13-12-14, 11:43
I can understand you're worried, but please put it in a little perspective. Our bodies respond to all sorts of stresses, everything from viruses to cuts and bruises with inflammation. Yes, cancer is one of the things your body may respond to with inflammation, but in context it's one of the very least likely things that may have caused it.
On top of that, many research medical scientists are writing about the chronic inflammation our bodies endure due to our very unhealthy western diets, busy lives with little sleep and emotional stresses. I don't know the exact figures but if all of us were given blood and stool tests a fair old percentage would have one or two raised inflammatory markers.
Please do not jump to massive conclusions. Yeah cancer can cause this marker to be raised, doubtlessly hence why you've been sent for testing. However if you were also to ask in what percentage of cases where this marker is raised cancer is actually present I suspect the figure would be very low indeed.
By worrying about what MIGHT happen, you are not solving anything. There is absolutely nothing you can do until you have your answer about whether you might have cancer or not. Absolutely nothing. The only thing you are achieving is that you are winding yourself up, stressing yourself out, and this might lead to you getting a cold because you are stressed.
Then your likely answer will be no, you don't have cancer, and you can move on with your life.
If you do have cancer, many cancers are treatable. Most older men have prostate cancer, and it barely reduces life expectancy at all. People live with that for years and years. Cancer is not a death sentence. My aunt has cancer and we thought she was going to die, but she's in treatment and very positive, so she's got better.
So there's nothing to be achieved with worrying because it's not a problem that you can solve. It's not even an identified problem yet, and if there is a problem, you have to leave it to the doctors to solve.
Allow me to answer your question. How do you cope? Quite simply you do.
When I had my first heart attack, I didn't have time to think. I had to react. I went in on a Sunday night and I was under the knife for open heart surgery by Friday. There was no time to process or research. It was just deal with it. The same with my second. React and had stents within 3 days.
Concerning a cancer diagnosis? That was a bit more challenging. It's not as simple as "Oh, let's go in and fix this". But, as before, you cope and you deal with it. You gain a resolve and strength you didn't know existed and become a "warrior" and then a "survivor". The bottom line is that all your worries and fears take a back seat as you devote all your focus and energy in battling the beast.
I know someone who realized her fears and now that she's in recovery, her anxiety is in remission as is her disease. Granted, the uncertainty is maddening but as we say in the survivors camp, "It's not cancer until the say it is".
As everyone says, don't Google and please, for your sake and for the sake of others, don't visit any cancer boards. It will just make you crazy and disrespect those that are warriors. As others are saying, there are a lot of reasons you could have a raised marker and with your history of bowel issues, it's highly likely it's just a flare up. Hang in there and let us know what's going on.
Positive thoughts
Thanks everybody...wil respond properly soon but on mobile as had to come to my Mum's as she is ill.
lavender123
13-12-14, 17:20
Don't google, or look at books on cancer, I know it's easy for me to say that, I am not you,you must be feeling terrible with this worry, can you ring the hospital and asked to speak to someone before your appointment, and explain how you feel, about the dreadful anxiety you must have, and you want to clarify things you will cope ..... Lots of hugs to you. You will be alright. Just to try and make you feel a bit better my son lost 2stone in weight, and was having terrible pain in his stomach, he was admitted into hospital, and was diagnosed with crohns. He had all short of markers and things, he is being weened off steroid now and on medication but for a while we didn't know what was wrong with him and we thought it was very serious . But he is home now and full of fatique but thriving, so wait until you see the doctor or get to see someone early if you can if you can't do it get someone else to do it for you, I have been in that situation with having lazer treatment on my cervix years ago, do things that make you forget for a couple of hours watch a film , eat something you like just think of nice things . To help yourself.
---------- Post added at 17:20 ---------- Previous post was at 17:08 ----------
A few weeks back I had a lump which the doctor said was a fatty lump, but didn't seem bothered about it one day ist was this the next time it was normal breast tissue, so I thought I would wait until I have a mammogram, and see if it shows up. Well I had some sort of meltdown waiting for results, and the people on here helped me get through with their support, as I think with the health anxiety and all what goes with it, it was horrendous, but I got through and it was alright, you know when you art in the spiral of anxiety our feelings are sensitised and we can't see any thing positive, well I couldn't anyway, but what iam saying there are people on here who understand the fear,I found sometimes some people were jack blunt,but I suppose we are all diffrent. Hope everything turns out well for you which it will I hope your mum gets better soon. :)
Hi
Do you know what the calprotectin number was?
I too had raised calprotectin result in March this year. I saw a GI consultant in June who said it was not high enough to be worth investigating. I couldn't settle so had colonoscopy last month and it was completely clear. Was diagnosed with ibs.
Try not to worry although I know it's easy for me to say. Also I do think it must be related to crohns. It sounds like you are having a flare. I doesn't mean to say that because it's presenting differently that it's not.
Le...they didnt say but instead of referring me to GI they want me to see bowel consultant so thats why i am even more worried...
Well been to GP...she explained that my calprotectin is 65 and normal is 50 so not too raised....all bloods are ok but because of my history with Crohns years ago and my age, I have to see a consultant bowel specialist on the quick turnaround. I know that bloods can be normal even with bowel cancer so I am still petrified that,s what it is....I have been up all night and on top of that, I had to get my mum an ambulance when I got there on Saturday as she was virtually collapsing with shortness of breath..she has empheama so didn't sleep all night as stayed with her and spent all yesterday in a and e waiting for a bed. Needless to say, I am a wreck. If I have to have my colonoscopy this week I don't know who will look after my mum because there is only me. If I have cancer I don't know how I will cope.
lavender123
15-12-14, 12:57
Have you got a relation that could help out at this time, try and be positive, I know it's only words but you will find the strength from somewhere, my son has crohns I hope everything goes alright for you I hope your mum feels better soon I wish I knew the right words to say to you.that would ease your anxiery and worry.
JJ, my suggestion is this.....
Until you know one way or the other, to not keep stirring things up with "what if's".
As has been mentioned, all that worrying and thinking along the lines of "If I have cancer I don't know how I will cope" is ultimately pointless. It will not help.
Instead, why not deal it's one situation at a time.
Deal in the present. Right now. Not the future.
For instance, focus at the moment on your mother, be there for her. Do what is necessary at the moment.
then .... When the time comes.... You can deal with your own situation.
But meanwhile it is not worth reading up about cancer. It will not help or change anything. What it will do is make you feel physically worse. It could induce further symptoms too.
I do not wish to sound abrupt as that would not be my intention, more so I am looking to be practical for you.... To offer an alternative way to think and deal with this and replace the fear with practical actions.
lavender123
15-12-14, 19:57
Yes tessar is right practically. Must come in to this situation, or your go bonkers....one thing at a time.
Hi JustJules
That's nothing to worry about I'm sure. My calprotectin level was 152 and the specialist two of them said it was not raised enough to be anything sinister. Both refused to do colonoscopy. I was terrified and finally demanded a colonoscopy as sure as both specialists said it was completely clear. No crohns, no inflammation and not polyps or tumours. I was told it's ibs.
X
A few years ago I was out of my mind with worry. I had gone to my GP about a painless pea sized lump that had appeared on my leg over the summer. He took a look and referred me to a skin specialist. Two months later I saw the dermatologist, showed her the lump, and she said straight away that it was a harmless cyst. But the large, itchy, irregular shaped, ragged edged mole that was quietly sitting about 3 inches down from the lump had to come out immediately!!
I was told it may well be malignant melanoma, that they would rush through the biopsy, and call me with the results ASAP.
Well I almost went mad worrying about having skin cancer, at just 22. I terrified myself with what ifs, couldnt sleep or eat. My life was a nightmare of worry.
Four days later the doctor called me, at work, to say it WAS cancer, and I had to go into hospital the following week for a large skin graft.
The bizzare thing was, that getting the positive diagnosis was like being instantly in the eye of a tornado. As soon as I knew, either way, I was calm. There was no more what ifs, just lets deal with this. And I did. And here I am, cancer free at 50.
Whatever your outcome, and I hope for the very best for you, dont worry. You will cope!
You have a raised marker but you also have clear blood tests - as we all do with HA, we tend to focus on the negative and ignore the things that don't fit into what we want to believe. There will be lots of different reasons for a raised marker; vitamin deficiency, an infection, loads of things. It's just a precaution.
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