Someone to talk too .....

[Starry]

Hi everyone....I feel in such a dark place and really need help.I suffer from really bad health anxiety,there of periods of time where it gets a little better but now its seriously bad.I tend to focus on a symptom and imagine all kinds of things,sometimes though there have been things wrong which make it all the more confusing.Im so scared of loosing my job due to sick days,i cant keep a relationship and i cant imagine ill ever have children or my body is capable.
Alot of my issues are woman's issues down below and bladder but the last week or so ive had a discomfort pain in my left side..... i keep thinking its something gone wrong with a organ or its a kidney infection or its a bowel/intestine complaint..... i googled earlier and found out about ulcers etc and diverticulitis which has made me panic.I know my bowl habits are strange right now,feeling i need to go but not alot happens and then feeling like i urgently have to go but i think its anxiety doing this,however my brain will link it all together and make me feel something is so wrong.I had a ultrasound on my bladder and kidneys yesterday due to needing a wee alot.....having to hold urine was so painful and it triggers me off.Every part of me wants to run to the hospital to have tests and peace of mind but its not agony and also that's feeding anxiety,and i know it.
Im so scared of having time off work,off ruining christmas,im still in bed feeling hopeless.I need to know can anxeity do all of this???
Please if anyone out there can relate to me or offer advice it would mean so much xx

[popejoan]

Hello Starry,

You are not alone, not at all. I can tell you that I'm very similar to you. I have a dissertation to write (yet I haven't even started), I have a wedding to plan but it feels like a burden, I should feel happy instead. I postpone things or not buy/do new things as my ocd mind hates changes and relates it to "something bad will happen" in my case something bad is mostly cancer. I decided not to have a baby ever because I can't have another person to worry about in my life.

Most of us have the same symptoms. I have days that I feel severe exhaustion, I have days I have to urinate all the time. You are right, it is anxiety and don't feed your HA, don't google, try to avoid reassurance from hospital tests because there is no end to them. Just visit your GP whenever you're worried and believe what they say.

I can recommend you some life changes you can try to reduce your anxiety and distract yourself. First of all, if you smoke, quit. Drink less alcohol, try to go to bed early, eat a healthy diet, use probiotics, try to nourish your body. You can have a relaxing bath with epsom salts. Sign up for a yoga class, have acupuncture, it has some good acupressure points that can help reducing the level of anxiety. And whenever you feel down just know that we're here to help. Hope I coulp help, take care xx

[Starry]

Hi hun,
Thankyou so much for your reply.I feel totally down atm,the pain in my left side and tummy has me convinced something is wrong with my intestine or bowl or something,when i try to go to the toilet it just hurts and a little bit came out, but last night it was the opposite.I feel like i cant bear how i feel.Im obsessed with this now and i know it.Oh hun im so sorry that your struggling,at least you have found someone special,i cant imagine my HA will ever let that happen for me which breaks my heart.I almost think its evil what we go through xxxxxx

[courierdude]

hi starry, time to get the prunes out!(or figs as they see, to have replaced all the prunes with) you sound very obviously constipated.

stress, sleep deprivation, diet will all do that to you.

modifying diet is always a good first step towards taking control of our anxieties.

[Starry]

Hi hun....i dont think its constipation because last night i had the opposite where i really needed to go :( Hun i have gone every day,tbh the discomfort in my left side has been obsessing me all week and now i think im making the connection to my bowls thinking there's something really wrong!!I thought it was a kidney infection before. I feel like going to A&E but i know with it being discomfort and not agony i musent do that :((( Feel so sad xxx Guys please tell me i cant go to A&E with this xxx

[courierdude]

a&e departments are set up for an emergency really. call the 111 number if you need a healthcare professional to talk to but they are not in the business of trying to diagnose problems over the phone so you might not get satisfaction. if you are really unhappy with your discomfort then by calling 111 you can make an appointment with an out of hours doctor who would be better to examine the area of your concern.

ive had panic attacks on and off for years and im on here recently for my latest bout that centred around a constricting throat/breathing issue, but i have a left side stomach issue now and im convinced it is just constipation, even though i am still able to go to the toilet, it is not the same as before and i am right now living with the sole idea that i have a mysterious stomach condition and as uncomfortable as it is, it isnt going to cause m e any serious harm.

try 111, as far as i can remember you do get a call back from a doctor who will go over your symptoms in detail before calling you in.

dont waste your energy worrying though, having a temporary upset stomach is probably the second most common illness next to having a cold.

[Starry]

Thanks hun im really trying to stay calm.... i know if i run to A&E then where will it end???? I have said to myself if it becomes a unbearable pain then that's different but i have the doctors on Tuesday night so trying to wait.I cant believe how symptoms take me over :((((((((((((((((((( I think you sound really brave xx

[jimsmrs]

Hi
Anxiety can play havoc with everything, from emotions to bowels to bladders. My daughter had similar problems last year, she has a stressful job and was having a few relationship issues. She took herself off to A&E, (mainly cos she couldn't a GP appointment) they gave her Bruscapan, for IBS, it sorted her out and it can be bought from a chemist so you don't need a prescription for it. And she wasn't eating properly, Your body is like a car, it needs fuel to function, but the right type of fuel. And please try to stay away from 'Dr Google'. Take care

[Starry]

Thankyou hun....all week ive obsessed over it and today has been hell :( i have spent all day in my room goggling and feeling terrified by it,trying so hard to not go to the hospital :( xxxxxx

[popejoan]

I agree with others, it sounds like anxiety causing Ibs and it's one of the most common affects of anxiety on body. Just make an appointment with your gp and until then whenever you feel worried just talk to us. Thank you, you shouldn't think like that, I'm sure you can find the right person and have a good relationship, don't let your anxiety rule your life. Maybe it will take time to feel better but baby steps is better than nothing. Take care hun x

[Starry]

Thankyou so much hun...... i wish we could all talk together :( I just drove to Boots and got some calming stuff....the pain in my side and tummy was horrible but i did it :(((( I rent the big room in my friends town house and she is like a second mum to me and lovely but suffers real health issues.She doesent understand how i feel,she said i need help.I know that im ruining my life but i also know sometimes things i feel are real,like conditions that are real.I know that im so scared about this,i just tried to go to the toilet and just felt pain and discomfort and couldent go,my brain is totally focused on this and i have to get through work next week,cant be off :((( If im honest im sat here waiting for the pain to become unberable :(((( My life is work and health anxiety,thats it ;((((( and i dread facing another day of this tomorrow xxxxx Please dont think im selfish,i know it sounds like its all about me but i know you all suffer so much too.I really appreciate everyones help more than i can ever say xxxxx

[popejoan]

I don't think you're selfish and I know what you mean, I know the symptoms are real. We all have "catastrophic thinking", we just think the worst possible outcome. A month ago I convinced myself I had stomach cancer, I had horrible indigestion, heartburn, acid reflux and dysphagia. I had an endoscopy and it showed that everything was normal. Shortly after that my symptoms got so much better. Now I convinced myself I have bowel cancer, why? Because I have rectal bleeding, very weird bowel habits and low ferritin (iron storage) levels in my blood. I'm awaiting for a colonoscopy. I totally know what you mean. If she is like your second mum you should ask her to try to emphatise your situation.
"Kalms" tablets or passion flower can help. They don't make anxiety go away but they help a lot. If you're not on the pill you can try "St. John's Wort". Vitamin B and magnesium are big helps too. I recommend CBT therapy as well, it can help with "catastrophic thinking" as it tries to alter the way we think. Hope you are feeling at least a bit better after talking to us xxx

[Starry]

Oh hun that must be so hard to deal with!!! I understand so much....its like why the tests are being done you feel reassured,that's why i want to go to the hospital so i can feel better for Christmas but im fighting it because if it was horrendous agony i wouldent be thinking should i or shouldent i,i would just go.
Hun,i can read what you write and i can look at it logically and feel that im sure you dont have cancer but i know when it comes to looking at ourselves there is no logic.Sometimes i think what we all go through is even worse then being told 'Yes you have something and this is what we have to do'xxxxx

[popejoan]

Thank youu, I'm glad you can think rationally and stop yourself going to the hospital, it's a big step. You're right, that's why we can help each other and reassurance we get from people here is so much better than endless tests and talking to those who don't understand. We can empathise each other and when I reassure someone here I feel like I'm also reassuring myself as there is a part of me still trying to think logically for myself. Hope you feel so much better over Christmas without needing tests. Take care xxx