hello i need someone to talk too

[kerryann21uk]

I am so nervous about posting on here as I don't know if I am being silly for feeling like I need support when it isn't me who is suffering from anxiety or anger issues its my partner.

we have been together for 6 years now and at the beginning we were so happy and everything was fine but as it always happens to most couples we fell on hard times with money for a long time and didn't think we would get out of it. this year though I got a job after so long of looking and now we have no money worries what so ever and at first he was so happy as we managed to move out of some mouldy tiny flat and into a lovely bungalow where we could finally see a future for ourselves we even started talking about planning our wedding finally.

however the last few months he has been on a downward spiral of being so angry all the time and having such bad anxiety issues when ever we go out in public or to work. he suffers from pollyps in his nose which is causing him to not be able to breathe properly and the doctors think that it is causing him to have sleep apnia aswell as bothering him all the time to the point it is ruining his life.
he also suffers from irritable bowel syndrome and is pain constantly he has so many other illnesses but the list is too long to go on here.

anyway back to the point he has been having so many angry outbursts that he is scaring me if he is playing a game on his ipad or iPhone and he doesn't win or something goes wrong he starts shouting and hitting himself in the head and calling himself names or biting himself like a 4 year old throwing a tantrum. he is so angry all the time and he has started taking it out on me like if I tell him to calm down and that it is just a game he tells me to shut up and calls me all sorts of names and then he is hitting me sometimes too and im afraid that one day he will do some real damage to me.

I know reading this you probably think he sounds like a bad guy but he really isn't deep down he is so loving and nice but with all these illnesses and the anxiety and anger he just cant control himself. he always apologises to me and says he wants to change and doesn't know why he does the things he does.

I just need to know if im wrong for feeling scared and typing this on here and not keeping it to myself but I am honestly out of ways for me trying to get through to him and need to know is there any support groups out there for him to talk to or something the doctor can do.im just so afraid that one day he will just give upon life as he says that it so hard every day I don't want to loose him he is the love of my life and I just want the man that I fell in love with back

if there is anyone out there going through the same I would love to have another person to talk to about this.

thanks for reading I know it is long but I had to get it off my chest

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya kerryann21uk and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[courierdude]

hi, i wouldnt worry whether you are in the right place or not.

you shouldnt be tolerating physical abuse regardless of someone elses reason or whatever problem they have.

[spellplague]

Is it possible to remove the polyps?

[kerryann21uk]

hi yes it is possible to remove the polyps but he doctors have been giving him the run around with it we have been suffering with his polypsand all his other illnesses for such a long time now it just seems like he wakes up everyday with a new illness.

---------- Post added at 07:20 ---------- Previous post was at 07:10 ----------

well today was another bad day today some days I wonder if the person that I fell in love with is even there anymore the stuff he says to me is unreal and so hurtful I wonder where it comes from and how someone can be so mean to another human being. im starting to wonder if im the problem and maybe he would be better off without me around he blames me all the time anyway never tkes any himself.

im so lost right now I don't even feel lik the happy person that I used to be

[Jayamashey]

Hi Kerryann,

You need to take care of yourself first and then try to help him. There seems to be some level of both emotional and physical abuse. These both need to stop immediately or you need to remove yourself from the situation. You say money isn't a problem now, so please try to get him (and yourself) into counseling.

Having grown up with abuse I can tell you it just escalates if not dealt with. I understand you love him and by taking action here is how you will be showing another type of love. I am not sure what the best approach to take is but you do need to do something so it will help the two of you.

Best wishes and my thoughts are with you.