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Hi
6 months ago I started experiencing panic attacks, but I didn't realise at the time what they were. I thought I had something wrong with my heart because it felt like it kept racing and missing a beat, so I found myself constantly checking my pulse. I went to my GP who listened to my heart and told me that my heart was fine and prescribed me beta blockers, but I didn't take them because I thought that my heart would get dependent on them. After that I started getting heartburn / indigestion which I am still suffering with.
About a month ago I started getting flutters at the bottom of my stomach which I thought was signs of a UTI so I went to my GP with a urine sample that showed a trace of blood when it was dipped. My GP said it was probably the start of a UTI, gave me 3 days of antibiotics and sent my sample off for further testing. When the results came back they were clear so I ended up getting upset and panicking because I couldn't understand how there was nothing in my sample when there was blood in it when the GP tested it. That's when things started getting worse. I got myself so worked up that I couldn't eat, so I ended up losing weight. I lost 10lb in 2 weeks and was unable to go to the toilet but because of the way I was thinking I couldn't accept that it was because I wasn't eating.then started with yellow lose
yellow stools with mucus.i started looking up my symptoms on Dr Google and ended convincing myself I had cancer. Every time I went on Google I was convinced I had a different cancer. Ive had kidney disease, kidney failure, pancreatic cancer, bladder cancer, ovarian cancer and now I think stomach cancer or bowel cancer. I was constantly at my GP / Walk in Centre / A&E. I was seeing my GP so much she banned me from going for 3 weeks. I've had bloods done, more urine samples, stool samples, i was sent for a pelvic ultrasound because I was convinced I had bladder or ovarian cancer but by the time I had the scan I had moved onto stomach cancer. Every test I've had done has come back clear. I have been referred to mental health who said I have health anxiety and have put me on quetiepine and the waiting list for CBT. I have managed to start eating again but just find myself picking at bits of food. A few days ago I started with dihorea and I noticed it had blood in it so went back to my GP who has asked for another stool sample. I wanted to have a camera down or up to put my mind at rest but she says she can't justify sending me for that. It just seems like everyone's putting it down to anxiety, but I'm not convinced and think it's something more sinister. I have even thought of paying to go private to see if I get any joy doing it that way. I just can't believe that everything that's happening is down to anxiety. Still yellow and still not eatting like i was my life feel like it bin put on hold till i know iv not got cancer .iv not long turned 30 with a loveing family 3 children thst i think i wont see um grow up and my my middle child is disabled am so scared
While you are waiting for CBT you might find this work book helpful http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=53
Thank you for the reply will look in to getting the book .cant stop thinking am not goint to be hear to see the kids grow up and the doctor will not send me for no more tests.but when i read on here that loads have bin tested for what they think is wrong with them and my dr wont its upsetting x
The book is free, you just download it from the link I gave you.
Thank you iv red the first 2
I hate the feeling you describe ... being afraid of the people you love dying. For a while I got more anxious about losing my husband than losing myself. I lost my mom to cancer 4 years ago this time of year so I always get a bit more anxious around now. When we lost her, everything skyrocketed. Every lump, bump, mole, odd-colored bit of skin, feeling, etc sent me into overdrive and I was convinced it was deadly. My all-time low was when I had such a horrible panic attack I made my husband go get all his moles checked bc I couldn't look at him without being convinced he had melanoma. He was fine of course.
I am glad you are waiting for CBT. Honestly, I don't know where I'd be without my therapist. The biggest thing I learned besides interrupting the cycle of checking is to be kind to myself and not beat myself up over this. That just makes things worse.
Am so lost atm and i use to worry all tine about others but now its all about me and iv got a disabled son and worry who goin to look after him if i die .its got that bad that i dont spend money on things i need and bin savin every penny i can so i no hes safe when am not here .iv stop smokin and drinkin diet coke iv just stopped livin .sorry for goin on am 30 and dont wabt to die till am at least 65 i be happy if i get to 65 but can see me gettin to my 35 birthday .sorry to keep goin on but it helps that am not a freak cos thats wat i feel like and i feel am not strong enough .
You are not a freak at all. You have a lot on your plate, no wonder you are afraid if something happens to you. It sounds like you snowball though with your thoughts and I do too. Try to focus on today, on what is going on around you instead of all the what-ifs. It's not easy, but watch something on tv and focus on it or read a book.
Hes 10 now but it dont help that no one believe me when he was born that he was ill so it went on for year's befor they believe me .and iv nearly lot my other children to .my youngs nearly die about 5 time's now and my oldest was really poorly at 6 months old and i was only 17 when i had her .dont wabt to sound like its not anxiety cos when am thinkin right i do believe it but most times i dont .means aloT that ppl take the time out to talk to me .x
Still feel lost and not i think iv got oc cos am late 5 days late am never late no pregnant .in pain and now to top it off iv got cysts on my cervix and white cells in my wee really not good .
Think I said it before but there's a huge chance the cysts are why your period is late this month. The mega worry you're putting yourself through won't be helping it any either. Stress can affect our cycles. Take care.
I know it's hard but I was 4 days late last period and I was absolutely in pieces, I couldn't concentrate or anything. My doctor said the stress of it not coming could have delayed it even more. You are having the pains which I did too, my boobs etc even stopped being sore before my period which never happened before.
Cant stop cryin thinkin am not goin to see my kids grow up .and the not comin on just the icein on the cake .cysts on my cervix would not stop me from comin on and with the white cells in my wee cant take much more .x
They might though. I know it's difficult but trust in the medical professionals. We have to. If you can't, try to find one you can trust.
LauraWoo84
27-12-14, 22:45
Nicola I hear your pain. I turned 30 this year too and since then I've been ill and was diagnosed with inflammation of the bowel but I am still convinced the doctors are missing something despite all the test bits I have had. The reason I think my anxiety is so bad is because I had cancer as a kid and I was misdiagnosed. However I know with all the tests I have had if I had something it would have come up by now surely.
Health anxiety is frightening and it seems to get worse if I am on my own. CBT is incredible as is tapping and transformational breathing.
You are not alone Nicola
Iv woke up with runs again this morning .and a pain in my bum check and down my leg .my dr wont do no more test only wee simple as she thinks every thing down to anxiety but this cant be all down to that .with the white cells in my wee and iv still not started .dont no how much more i can take .iv woke uo full of a cold to .cant stop cryin thinkin i wont see my kids grow up .xx
Nicola I hear your pain. I turned 30 this year too and since then I've been ill and was diagnosed with inflammation of the bowel but I am still convinced the doctors are missing something despite all the test bits I have had. The reason I think my anxiety is so bad is because I had cancer as a kid and I was misdiagnosed. However I know with all the tests I have had if I had something it would have come up by now surely.
Health anxiety is frightening and it seems to get worse if I am on my own. CBT is incredible as is tapping and transformational breathing.
You are not alone Nicola
Hi wat test u had my dr wont test me for the thing iv ask for cos she said there is no justification for um when i think there is .onlu thing she doin is checkin my wee cos thats how all this started with a trace of blood in my wee but thats gone now and there is white cells there and am worried about bein 6 days late and my cervix bein abit red and iv got cysts on it but she just said to that wait for my smear to come bk .iv had a scan on my bladder and overis and thats come bk clear only had that done 4 weeks ago and just over 4 weeks ago i had a full blood count and that was all clear .thats the only think iv had done .am so worried its cancer i do think everything i get is cancer but Google dont help matters so for 4 days iv not Google anything only come on here .
she thinks every thing down to anxiety but this cant be all down to that
Can be! Have you tried the free CBT booklet on NMP? It goes through this thought process. It says on almost the first page that healthy =/= being symptom free and how HA distorts that. It can definitely be anxiety.
No iv not seen that were is it and iv had the inplant in and had a period every 21 to 22 day but this month nothin yet .my inplant runs out nwxt week so iv just had it took out and not had one bk in cos am not havin and dont want sex at all .am sick of always thinkin every thing iv got must be cancer .iv gone from one cancer to another .iv got no life atm cos i dont want to go out or see family and friends just want to stay in or in bed .i dont trust anybody really so findin it hard when dr or medical ppl tell me things i think am goin to one of them ppl that u hear of that did have cancer but dr did not notice it cos of my age .sorry ro go on .
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=53 here you go.
It's okay, most of us have been there and there's always a chance we'll be there again. I went weeks not being able to get out of bed, crying my eyes out and convinced I had cancer. Every kind of cancer just like you. I didn't trust anything any of my doctors or medical professionals were saying, just like you. I had pancreatitis years ago that was misdiagnosed and I'm relatively positive this was where my distrust stemmed from.
Even in the midst of if, you have to realise the enormity of the battle against HA and to do that, no matter how much you worry about other things, you have to tackle it. It's the first step. I also recommend reading the sticky post at the top of this "get a plan and stay on it" (something to that degree.) trust me, you have to work towards getting better but you can.
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=53 here you go.
It's okay, most of us have been there and there's always a chance we'll be there again. I went weeks not being able to get out of bed, crying my eyes out and convinced I had cancer. Every kind of cancer just like you. I didn't trust anything any of my doctors or medical professionals were saying, just like you. I had pancreatitis years ago that was misdiagnosed and I'm relatively positive this was where my distrust stemmed from.
Even in the midst of if, you have to realise the enormity of the battle against HA and to do that, no matter how much you worry about other things, you have to tackle it. It's the first step. I also recommend reading the sticky post at the top of this "get a plan and stay on it" (something to that degree.) trust me, you have to work towards getting better but you can.
Awww thank u iv had an ok day today but am slipin now thinkin about the what if and if i can get more test .i find it really hard to trust cos iv bin let down so much and that by professionals to .and still worried why i have white cells and no period .and i keep thinkin yea iv got ha and then think no way can this just be ha its mad feel lile am fightin myself .xx
My smear come bk normal and so did my wee sample but still havin pains and runs and burning not when i wee just my lady bits r sore .
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