CharlieD
15-12-14, 16:52
Hi there - my name is Charlie and I'm 46yrs old. I've always been considered a strong person, have dealt with some pretty horrible things in my life but have always come out stronger and more determined. Then.... 4 months ago I suffered what has since been diagnosed as a panic attack. It's taken me 4 months of MRIs, ENT, heart checks to convince me that is what I experience and am suffering from.
I was sat at home on a Saturday afternoon enjoying relaxing and reading a book when.. *wallop*.. I was being dragged unconscious, all I could do was try and unlock my door whilst I was on the phone to 999 as I was convinced they'd find me unconscious on the floor... my heart started pounding and I could hardly breathe. There was no reason for me to be anxious or panic. I was completely relaxed and in a happy place. It was because the symptoms were so severe and so physical that I dismissed PAs or AAs. I'm not a nervous person, I'm outgoing, confident and have a great career (I'm a Director in the media). I have no idea why this has started happening but the more I read into it and the more I talk to people, the more common it seems to be.
I joined this forum today because I've been episode free for 6 weeks and then had a large AA at work this afternoon. As with all of them. No reason, I'm not anxious or stressed today. Just sat at my desk when the familiar symptoms started and it went full blown. I'm devastated. I feel as though I've gone backwards not forwards. I had the results of my MRI last week and all was fine. I'm in the process of finding a CBT to travel this horrendous journey with me. Only very few people know what is going on but I don't feel as though I know me anymore. I won't tell work because my career is very important to me and I'm still ambitious. I would hate to be treated differently or to be held back from promotions for fear I'm 'too fragile' and 'can't cope'.
I'm hoping this forum and hearing other people's stories and support will continue to help me face what my body has decided to do to me and get the treatment and remedy I so desperately want so I can go back to being me again.
I was sat at home on a Saturday afternoon enjoying relaxing and reading a book when.. *wallop*.. I was being dragged unconscious, all I could do was try and unlock my door whilst I was on the phone to 999 as I was convinced they'd find me unconscious on the floor... my heart started pounding and I could hardly breathe. There was no reason for me to be anxious or panic. I was completely relaxed and in a happy place. It was because the symptoms were so severe and so physical that I dismissed PAs or AAs. I'm not a nervous person, I'm outgoing, confident and have a great career (I'm a Director in the media). I have no idea why this has started happening but the more I read into it and the more I talk to people, the more common it seems to be.
I joined this forum today because I've been episode free for 6 weeks and then had a large AA at work this afternoon. As with all of them. No reason, I'm not anxious or stressed today. Just sat at my desk when the familiar symptoms started and it went full blown. I'm devastated. I feel as though I've gone backwards not forwards. I had the results of my MRI last week and all was fine. I'm in the process of finding a CBT to travel this horrendous journey with me. Only very few people know what is going on but I don't feel as though I know me anymore. I won't tell work because my career is very important to me and I'm still ambitious. I would hate to be treated differently or to be held back from promotions for fear I'm 'too fragile' and 'can't cope'.
I'm hoping this forum and hearing other people's stories and support will continue to help me face what my body has decided to do to me and get the treatment and remedy I so desperately want so I can go back to being me again.