I'm back :(

[nicola1980]

Hi everyone, this forum was my lifeline a few years ago when I suffered a breakdown, it took alot of time and different medication to get me better but I did, I was diagnosed with PSTD resulting in severe anxiety and panic attacks but I have been stable and living a 'normal' life for a while now. in October me and my husband were surprised but delighted to find out I was pregnant, I immediately saw my physchatrist regarding my medication and she lowered me from 187.mg of venlafaxine to 150mg and from 5mg of olanzapine to 2.5mg, I managed this decrease very well and my anxiety stayed under control, unfortunately I suffered quite a traumatic and drawn out miscarriage in November, I was heartbroken but I coped through it all but now 6 weeks down the line the anxiety and panic is back with avengence, I saw my physchatrist yesterday who basically told me to get on with it even though I was crying and shaking and in a real mess, last night I had the worst panic attack it was truly awful, my husband was at work and fortunately my 14yr old son had gone to bed so he didn't witness it, my mum made me a doctors appointment with our family gp today who was lovely and said I was grieving for my lost baby but his hands are tied regarding my meds because of my physchatrist, he has given me his permission to use my 2mg of diazepam I have (I always had some in the house since my breakdown) but im so scared im going backwards again, I can't sleep or eat, my chest feels like its caving in and my throat closing up, im shaking constantly and just feel sheer panic all the time :weep: im so sorry for the long post xxx

[SarahH]

Wow! Welcome back Nick. So, so sorry to hear what has happened to you a terrible time for you both. You know it sounds a little like your PTSD may have been triggered by the miscarriage. I have known others who have had traumatic miscarriages and been diagnosed PTSD. Its early days in your recovery and you know to be kind to yourself. Use the diazepam when needed..its OK.... this will pass as it has done before.

Sending you love and :hugs:

Sarah

[nicola1980]

Thankyou Sarah, I too was thinking it was my PTSD being triggered again as it was an awful traumatic experience xxx

[SarahH]

Your not "going backwards" Nicola. This is a classic "blip" and completely understandable considering what has happened to you. Your GP is right. Take the Diazepam when needed and give yourself some time to grieve.

:hugs::flowers:

Sarah

[MrAndy]

Can only offer a hug,you've been through so much
Stay strong :hugs:

[nicola1980]

Thankyou so much, I always feel a failure using my diazepam but I realise I must to help me through xx

---------- Post added at 18:43 ---------- Previous post was at 18:42 ----------


Can only offer a hug,you've been through so much
Stay strong :hugs:

Thankyou xx

[almamatters]

:welcome: back Nicola , sending you hugs :hugs: I hope you are feeling better soon.

[nicola1980]

Thankyou xx

[Kendra]

Hi Nicola,

Can't believe I've just read your post!! So sorry for your loss darlin, I had no idea!!!

I'm going through a massive blip at the moment too!!! (As well as the terrible cold).

I'm feeling everything you are darlin only I don't have a reason, apart from overthinking a massive panic attack a few weeks back!! Sending you massive hugs xxxxx

[nicola1980]

I've just replied to your post babe!! It's awful isn't it? I'm still not eating or sleeping and when I do sleep im restless and having the most vivid dreams, panic attacks are dreadful they scare the life out of me, I've forced myself to go out shopping this weekend but had to cling to hubby as felt so surreal and petrified :( hoping it passes for us both soon X X

[Kendra]

Me too my darlin! I went shopping yesterday and wasn't the best!! Want to curl up in a ball but when you have kids you just can't can you?? Xxxx

[nicola1980]

I know I keep having to take myself off to lie down to try and calm myself down, I feel like my throat is closing up on me and my bloody chest is caving in, I know it's anxiety causing it but you can't think rationally when your in panic mode, I can't be arsed to wash my hair or anything just want it to go away X X