Terrified. Convinced i have breast cancer

[Jessicasmummy]

So i've suffered health anxiety for years. I'm really aware of this just now as my daughter has started climbing over me and when her head rests on my right breast. My right breast is bigger and lumpier than the left so when she leans on my lumpy breast it feels really weird. I'm sure i've had this for years! I dont know if i'm just panicking and aware of it constantly. My gp referred me to the breast clinic as she thought i had cysts but the consultant said i just have lumpy breasts (even though my left breast has no lumps that i can feel). The ultrasound also came back clear. I'm convinced i have breast cancer and the ultrasound didnt pick anything up. I'm sitting here on tears

[popejoan]

I had ultrasounds 3 times before, they detected all the cysts I have, I have 3 cysts in total and your breasts didn't even have any cysts. If you don't trust what your doctors say at least trust the tests. I'm the same, after my endoscopy I thought they missed something but that feeling left me gradually, I'm sure you'll feel better soon. Don't panic believe me ultrasound is very accurate.

[Mogwog]

Hi lovely

I get this too. My son likes to lie on me and if he's leaning on my breast they kind of feel squished and like there is a lump where he's leaning and it's slightly painful(if that makes sense)

I get my dr to check my breasts every few months and she says they are fine but I do have very dense lumpy breast tissue. I have also been to the breast clinic a few years ago and they said the same thing. Also you had the all clear on the ultrasound. This is anxeity playing with your mind. Big hugs as I've been there and it's horrible
My left breast is lumpier than my right one.
You are completely fine.xxxxxxxxxxx

[Jessicasmummy]

Thank you both for replying. I can be fine one minute then earlier today my lef squished against my breast and i felt what felt like a lump but when i feel around i cant feel anything. I am just so convinced that i have this horrible disease :(. Why cant i trust the ultrasound? My breast does feel a lot lumpier but it's all over so i shouldnt be worried and i am.

[popejoan]

Don't worry, if a breast lump is malignant it feels different, I know this from my mum. If it's just a simple cyst it is mobile and round and if it is something more sinister then it's more fixed and more uneven, not that if you find something like that it 100% cancerous. Hope this helps, and I too have very lumpy breasts and worry sometimes.

[luc]

Hi JM,

You are worried because you have HA. I had HA related to My breasts for 10 years. I could not touch or be touched, hug or be hugged. Therefore cuddles from my kids or friends could put me in a cold sweat. I felt, sensed and even dreamt breast lumps. Please do not let this get out of hand and stay focused on the fact that this is HA and not BC.

[Jessicasmummy]

I'm the exact same with hugs. I think because my breast is still sore it's making me more anxious and aware of it. I feel scared when i'm holding my 10 month old incase she leans against me

[luc]

Let her lean on you. Let cuddles happen, carry things and hold things that press on your boobs. Push yourself to allow this to happen as the alternative is avoidance which believe me drains the living day lights out of u

[Jessicasmummy]

I am going out of my mind today! I was out shopping and pressed my breast by accident and this awful shooting pain came and I'm back to being a wreck after having a good day or two

[anthrokid]

You really need to have some faith in the medical professionals who have consulted with you so far :) Not only did your GP suggest you had cysts (NOT breast cancer), but you've also been to a specialist clinic AND had an ultrasound which came back clear. At this stage, if anything was out of the normal it would have been picked up by now. Think about have many breasts your GP and specialist consultant have felt in their careers - now think about how many you have felt. They know what they are looking for :)

[Jessicasmummy]

Its hard to think rationally just now. Everytime I hold my daughter against it the fear comes back if I'm having a good day. It just feels different to the left one. When will it go away!!

---------- Post added at 17:32 ---------- Previous post was at 17:28 ----------

Its hard to think rationally just now. Even when I'm having a good day as soon as I hold my daughter against it the fear comes back.it just feels different to my left breast and I feel aware of it all the time. When will this go away :(

[nicolag84]

I to have lumpy breast and had um both scanned and i had a fatty lump that went away on it o .i to thought i had loads but it was just me and now am use to it .hope this helps xx

[Jessicasmummy]

My breast is really sore today so it all jst makes the anxiety worse. What will help me anyone?

[herbie73]

Hi jessicasmummy, I have been having a similar problem to you lately, boobs became lumpy just before period, freak out abit, but then lumps went down when period started, should have been the end of it, instead mind went crazy started checking in different lights angles etc, thought one boob felt different, went to Dr said everything normal but still can't shake the fear of what if,worried about different size, firmness ,colour etc.I have upped my dose of prozac to 40 mg, so hope it will help, anxiety is horrendous, so scary, it'sjust your anxiety playing up at moment, if you ever need to talk iIam here. Herbiexx

[Jessicasmummy]

I just feel I can't give my daughter a big cuddle as I get so much pain. Its heartbreaking not being able to hug her because I'm scared of the pain

[herbie73]

Try not to be scared of the pain, it your anxiety that makes you feel like this, give you little girl a big hug and stick to fingers up to the pain, it will soon now who's boss xxxx

[Jessicasmummy]

I also stupidly googled and people are saying breast cancer didn't show up on their ultrasound. I do trust the health professional s especially as 3 of them said its nothing sinister. My anxiety is just so bad just now

[herbie73]

You will always find horror stories on google, when I was waiting for my smear result Igoogled and there was horror stories on there, that made me feel terrible, iI had 10 days of worry just cause I googled and scared myself xxxxx

[Jessicasmummy]

So today holding my daughter next to my breast the slightest touch is painful. Do i try and forget abt it or keep thinking the worst? Is my anxiety making me feel the pain more?

[Jessicasmummy]

Hi guys well after being ok and no pain for 5 months. It's back! I have the numbness down my arm again and convinced myself it's breast cancer again. I feel like crying constantly and the pain is getting me really down. The breast feels like it's burning and tingling again. The thing is i had a clear ultrasound in december so could it now be something to worry about?

[swajj]

I think ultrasound is the definitive test for breast cancer. My gyno sent me for mammogram and ultrasound because he said ultrasound was the better test. I think you can trust that you don't have breast cancer if you have had an ultrasound.

[Jessicasmummy]

Hi girls well I'm back to thinking I've got breast cancer. I was showering and found a lump (which I think is tissue) but my head is telling me it's breast cancer. I'm so scared. My right breast is bigger than the left so could that be why the lumps are more prominent? I also have lumpiness is this breast. So I really don't know what's normal or not. My ultrasound was 9 months ago now so I'm convinced I do have cancer this time. I do remember feeling this lump a while back and it not really bothering me but now I'm terrified.

[Jessicasmummy]

I'm in total agony today but not sure if it's because I am due my period