margmx
22-12-14, 19:36
Hi all!
This is my first post here.
So let me explain the reasons why decided to join this page/forum.
Il try to do my best to explain. Because english language is not my native tongue, i might do bad grammatical mistakes- sorry about that.
Since last year i have had some serious mental problems and philosophical questions that are now destroying my life. This has lead me to path of living hell..
Mainly im having thoughts about solipsism, subjective meaning of life and materialism.
I feel that im the only person who really exists. I mean, others are real and they have conciousness, but what is missing, is that,,me". They might claim to have it, but how do i know??
The whole definitions and emotions are fixed within myself. I can only attribute them to others.
Its like im the only source, the one and only. ..When people laugh, the true meanings and feelings that these cause are defined by my capability to feel, to define, to understand......i cannot even begin to explain it with such robust things as ,words".
Also im having a serious problems with my newly discovered materialistic and nihilistic view on everything.
There are no such thing as: situations, meaning of life, happiness, sadness, no nothing and it makes me panic and shake in fear. I think im in mini psychosis most of the time.
It kinda feels like have woken up from illusions. There are no such thing as places and emotional values attributed to them.
Paint on the walls look same everywhere, nature, humans are just material. Even my own hands are just materials, with no meaning attached. Its like im stuck within alien world..
I want to escape to my own world that has theological values and meanings, situations and more, beyond my own subjective values.
I oftenly wake up in fear and realize that the world is here not for me, my own values just wont attach to it. It says the same. Only by distracting myself and letting my brain to create "situations" i will somehow manage from going totally crazy.
I cant stand the idea that when life exists, its always meaningless......goosh my adrenaline starts rushing :(.
So yea, this is pretty much i had to say.
Any ideas that could help me out from this?
Anything at all?
This is my first post here.
So let me explain the reasons why decided to join this page/forum.
Il try to do my best to explain. Because english language is not my native tongue, i might do bad grammatical mistakes- sorry about that.
Since last year i have had some serious mental problems and philosophical questions that are now destroying my life. This has lead me to path of living hell..
Mainly im having thoughts about solipsism, subjective meaning of life and materialism.
I feel that im the only person who really exists. I mean, others are real and they have conciousness, but what is missing, is that,,me". They might claim to have it, but how do i know??
The whole definitions and emotions are fixed within myself. I can only attribute them to others.
Its like im the only source, the one and only. ..When people laugh, the true meanings and feelings that these cause are defined by my capability to feel, to define, to understand......i cannot even begin to explain it with such robust things as ,words".
Also im having a serious problems with my newly discovered materialistic and nihilistic view on everything.
There are no such thing as: situations, meaning of life, happiness, sadness, no nothing and it makes me panic and shake in fear. I think im in mini psychosis most of the time.
It kinda feels like have woken up from illusions. There are no such thing as places and emotional values attributed to them.
Paint on the walls look same everywhere, nature, humans are just material. Even my own hands are just materials, with no meaning attached. Its like im stuck within alien world..
I want to escape to my own world that has theological values and meanings, situations and more, beyond my own subjective values.
I oftenly wake up in fear and realize that the world is here not for me, my own values just wont attach to it. It says the same. Only by distracting myself and letting my brain to create "situations" i will somehow manage from going totally crazy.
I cant stand the idea that when life exists, its always meaningless......goosh my adrenaline starts rushing :(.
So yea, this is pretty much i had to say.
Any ideas that could help me out from this?
Anything at all?