My story... Help, advice, support

[Boydo]

Hey everyone on NMP

My name James, am 24 and signed up because I've been following your forum for past few weeks and seen it a helpful community! Was hoping seek some help of others!

Take it from start ... On reason why my anxiety has exploded out of control

As a kid I didn't have easy childhood I was bullied as I couldn't speak English nor socialise normally as I suffer from slight form of autisum which was kindly mixed in with ADHD so I always acted out, on top this my parents constantly breaking up with my dad being Achly being in out hospital alot.... As a kid I never understood what going on around me.

This countuine from start of 4 and kept being bullied till left school at 16 with putting weight on and constant beatings I came out determind ..... I went to college and soon became popular it was fresh start a new hope to life! I had friends!

By the time I was 18 I was doing parkour ( street gymnastics ) was hugely popular I had my friends then I could ever dream I even got on stage at Leeds fest to do flips to live performance ! Life couldn't be sweeter ....

But as I coming out of being 18 I was in a car crash that left me .... Not paralysed, not injuried, but mentally unstable .... I never had feeling towards it as it felt so unreal ... The car I was travelling in flipped into the canal at this stage as you can image being in a car upside down in canal = suppose be dead ... I felt my best mate drown on me as I thought I was going to die I manage get my seatbelt off and find a small air pocket which was long enough to shout for help... Which someone following behide are car came to my rescue ... My best mate who felt die on me was unreal and my other best mate in the back is now still in a nursing home after 5 years on and off life support :/

I quickly got a lot attention of people who wanted support me :/ obvs I just wanted to forget about it .... But then drastically I started drinking... And drinking everyday turned into a party! Which quickly led to me taking drugs :/ mainly cannibis

Years went on so did the drinking and smoking, had various gf, jobs, wasted 10,000 of savings, lost a 2 baby's within 20weeks of pregnancy ...

Anyway that's the basic
I've now quit ! After 6 years of constant abuse I kicked the habit fully I tried before but never stopped for more then 2 weeks, am now on 7 week clean and after learning I had GAD I stopped drinking altogether aswell as it making me worst! I lost all my confidence, I felt numb so foggy I didn't feel real! I've gone from hyper and bubbley to quite stay at home! Am starting go out more but I used cannibis get me out the house aswell :/ and 1 year ago from now I nearly went to prison for year ( after all this ended up getting into trouble a lot ! ) lesson learned but feels like I don't know what to feel anymore :( as I just bottle everything up everytime something happened

Scine quitting I was expecting life be easy but having
Adhd
Autisum
Post traumatic stress disorder
GAD
Depression
Is one massive battle

I get that bad at times I feel cold shivery like am dying! Light seems so bright ! Head constantly in fog, wake up every 2 to 4 hours in the night and when I do wake am panicking for no reason whatsoever!! I've even felt that rotten like I was dying I went to A n E twice in few days to be told am fine!

Now been docs other week admitted everything as honest as am being now and been put on sertraline ! Am only on day 8 of them and yeah I feel less anxious am going out more and the physical symptoms are dying abit but, I still feel but foggy etc my head get odd pains and scine start the sertaline my pupils keep going funny! Now am constantly thinking brain tumour ! Even tho been doctors and they say just side effects or anxiety.

Just wondering if anyone can give me advice on all this to help me :/ it feels like on my mind constantly ! Even after go mental Heath centre I feel shit ! Even having full checks saying am healthy I'll still stay in bed thinking something serious wrong :/

Any advice or your symptoms that match would be great!

[Oosh]

Sounds like you have a lot to deal with there so very difficult to give advice with all of that going on.

Stay clean and let your neurochemistry balance out again.
Good nutrition , cut down on sugars and processed foods etc. Try fish oil. It's been found to lower anxiety. It may help other conditions you have too. You need a significant dose of a quality supplement though.
If your meds aren't working change them. Find something that works for you. Keep reporting back to your doctor/psychiatrist until something works. Keep a mood diary to detach yourself and monitor how well aspects of your mood is doing. Rate aspects of your mood from 1-10 each day.
Talk to someone about past painful events if they still bother you.

Hope something there helps.
Happy Christmas

[Boydo]

Thank you for your reply ..... Merry Christmas to you too :)

I never think about it as I killed most my emotions with drinking, drugs or generally kept busy.
I've just dramatically decided I need to change for past 7 weeks felt like am seriously ill :/ I've had stupid numerous of test they said it because I've just gone cold turkey and now my body + mind is fighting back at me.
My mind was so bad in fog I was questioning if I was with reality, my body give me serve chills, headaches, fatigue, numbers Etc......
I was improving then went saw mental health specialist and I told him everything ..... Later that night I felt down then some horrible physically anxiety began... I felt like I was dying and loosing my mind, I quickly went to A n E who confirmed I was healthy.... I then spent 2 weeks stupidly googling everything.... It he worst one brain tumour and at night I'll wake up check my head eye sight etc ..... But a Week bit ago went back to docs who given me beta blockers which I hate as they just make me dizzy n sleepy .... And sertaline I am now on day 8 the physical symptoms are dying down :) ,, get anxious when wake up like can get bit sweaty still but feel bit better and even started going back out ,, only downside is side effects in morning I can either get numbing in hands, nausea, dizziness or headache but by afternoon it dies down and I feel alright

Anyways be nice hear of other people physical symptoms , success story's , what experiences they had on sertaline etc

Wish you all merry Christmas or happy holidays !!

[Oosh]

Fish oil is supposed to be good at clearing brain fog too.

Don't forget exercise ! Clear all of those stress hormones and rubbish from your blood stream and replace it with new oxygenated, healthy blood. I find a 1-2hr walk with some good inclines works best for me.

[Boydo]

Cheers I'll give it a go :) I was cycling till went saw mental health specialist :/ then my head decided to cripple me.
Go get some fish oil today I do a lot mind training that seems to help.
Anyone else get sweaty feet or hands for no reason ? Or random ear pressure, wake up feeling like there something wrong from there anxiety silly things like that what makes me question my anxiety.