feel alone and scared

[lukeneal26]

so ive posted a lot im having a very hard time at the moment with my HA so im going to start from the start. I got a new job with a better role and loved it and still do even though im signed of sick at the moment which makes me feel like a complete joke of a man! im 26 I smoke about 20 a day find its the only thing to carm me down I am quiting though day by day! anyway we lost a lot of staff and I started working 60-70 hour weeks 12-13 hour days and was fine I was drinking 5-6 cans of guiness a night now and again and a lot of diet pepsi in the day! getting maybe 5-6 hours sleep due to waking up breathless or in a panic always been a sleep walker! anyway I started getting headaches and thought I had a brain tumor because I was dizzy and losing my balance now and again anyway that passed and then I started losing intrest in food and feeling quite down and stressed at work I have a hard role to do! I lost about a stone in a month and had a break down thinking I had all sorts of cancer! mainly stomach! I started sertraline 3 weeks ago and it has helped a bit stomach has settled down and poo is back to normal although its light brown which makes me worried! sorry guys! anyway ive been eating like a horse lots of veg meat soup ext put on 6 pound in a week! if I had something like cancer would you be able to put weight on that easy! anyway ive had some leg fatigue the last few months put it down to being on them 12 hours a day but ive been of 2 weeks now and there still heavy and tired and I keep getting the odd shooting feeling down my arms and legs not painfull but I know its there! anyway now I think I have something wrong with my brain again! doctor did full bloods liver ext because of my weight loss and everything was spot on! he checked my stomach and lungs and said they was clear so I was happy for about 3 hours then I thought how can he know whats goin on in my body and im back to this again:( ive made a friend on here who I talk to a lot beens I find it hard to talk to people who don't suffer stuff like this as they just don't get it!

thanks for reading my stupid post
I feel like a joke of a man and worthless

luke