View Full Version : My Panic
Hi all,
I am new to this forum stuff so not sure what i am doing!! Its been really helpful reading all the different members stories, it makes you realise you are not alone. I have suffered panic attacks for at least 18 years and it freaks me out when I write it down that that is how much of my life I have wasted! I have a wonderful supportive husband, two beautiful kids, a nice house, 2 lovely dogs, i don't have to work as hubby has good job etc, etc. Should be on cloud 9 with all that I have, yet I am miserable. I have had different medication, every type of therapy, MRI scans, xrays, blood tests. I dont even have to give my name to doctors receptionist as they recognise my voice!! I worked really hard at coping with attacks last year and had a great summer, took kids out on my own which was impossible before, then as soon as dark mornings and evenings come along I am back to square one and have now been in a constant panic since beginning of October.
Does anyone else get worse when the seasons change? I have asked my doctor about Seasonal Affective Disorder but he just gives me more antidepressants which I really dont wanna take anymore.
Sorry to be all doom and gloom, think I'm having an off month!!
Julie
Welcome Julie,
You're post was excellent and I'm sure you'll get loads of positive feedback and support. I find these forums invaluable as besides finding people in similar situations to yourself they allow you to articulate the thoughts/feelings/concerns you have in a non-verbal manner.
On the S.A.D. point you raise, I use a Lumie Brightspark (and 40mg of Citalopram!) to simulate natural light and, placebo or not, am sleeping well. I use it for about 4 hours a day (from 08:00) at my desk and have been doing so since late August. This is the furthest into the Autumn/Winter I've got without a prolonged spell of 'duvet time' since 2001 and it might just be coincidental but maybe the lightbox does work?
Happiness and light to all,
'Chopper'
I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!
James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849
Granny Primark
08-01-07, 11:43
Hi julie,
Welcome to the site.
My daughter has said for years that i suffer from s.a.d
A few years ago i started to go on sunbed so i ccould get a tan before we went on holiday. I found that i wanted to go on more and more, not cus i wanted to get browner but because i came out feeling loads better after.
Idecided because of the risks that it was best that i stopped it.
I really do think the dark days really have an effect on me.
Perhaps investing in a light box would help me. Its certainly something to think about.
Julie i think most people have an off month in january i know i certainly have an off 2 months. I feel loads better come March.
Take care
LYNN xx
honeybee3939
08-01-07, 12:28
HI Julie,
Firstly, Welcome to NMP, lovely to see you here.
As you can see you are not on your own when it comes to feeling worse over the winter months, im another one and cant wait till spring arrives!
It made me smile when you said the Gp receptionist recognised your voice, The Surgery knows me well too its my second home,lol
Take alook at these links also they may be of interest.
First Steps:
First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)
SAD
seasons?? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6047)
SAD? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6452)
Love
Andrea
xxxx
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
Hi Julie,
A big warm welcome to you. Everyone here is lovely.
Take Care
Mandyxx
groovygranny
08-01-07, 21:47
Hi Julie, welcome :)!
The 'blackness' shows no differentiation between those who appear to have nothing to panic about and those who do. It can come out of the blue and for apparantly no reason in some people.... and yet in others it seems only inevitable.
I'm sure you'll meet both on NMP!
lotsa luv
GG [:P]
xx
'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'
nomorepanic
08-01-07, 22:23
Hi Julie
Welcome aboard and lovely to see you here.
You will meet some fab people here and get some great support.
Nicola
People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel
JulieA45, hi there. You mention a litany of test and drugs you've subjected yourself over the last 18 years. Have you ever considered approaching the cause instead of the symptoms? have you considered understanding why this started in the first place?
Many people find that with analytical hypnotherapy / cbt or other modern faster approaches (weeks-months / not years) they can understand why the patterns were set up and then let go of them.
It's just that unless I'm hearing you wrong you sound like you are looking for an answer in the wrong place, for which you may have your own reasons I realise.
Possibly for some reason your unconscious mind has interpreted (wrongly no doubt in hindsight) that there's a gain to you being 'miserable'.
Just a thought ...
Regards
Brian
Thanks to everyone for all their words of encouragement, it really means a lot to have people to talk to who are going through the same thing, my husband and kids are a great support and whilst they understand that mum has good and bad days unless you are living it every day you really have no idea.
I have had CBT (helped for about 6 months), hypnotherapy(no help at all), psycotherapy (no help at all), medication (helped but dont want to take), all gave great tools to use but for some reason the panic is so bad at the moment that I have lost the ability to use them. Dont want to go back to seeing therapist every week because as I cant go on my own I feel too much guilt that husband and kids have to come with me and sit waiting for an hour in a waiting room of an evening when they should be at home in bed, they have done enough of that over the years and I would just feel bad making them do that again (kids are 12 and 9 years) especially as I had such a good summer that they think I am cured and they were really proud of me when I took them out on my own.
Lightbox sounds a good idea, will look into that thanks.
The best tips I have been given are from a book I downloaded off the internet from a man in America called Joe Barry it was called "Panic Away". It was really interesting, full of great tools that really worked for me when I first started reading it. It is all about inviting a panic in because we all know that we probably have had very few actual panic attacks but it is the fear of having one that really consumes our lives.
He sugggests standing in street forcing yourself to have a panic attack then when you feel the symptoms coming on say things like, "come on, is that the best you can do!" Stuff like that, he wants you to experience all the feelings, not run! Its a bit like standing up to a bully, if you run away they have won, if you stand up for yourself you are in control. Know it sounds weird and the last thing you'll want to do is to invite a panic attack when you spend most of your time avoiding them but it really worked for me.
This is why I feel a bit miserable at moment because I did find something that really worked for me but for some reason have lost abillity to put it all in to practice, thats why I think SAD is a definate possibility for me and not just an excuse as to why Joe Barry tools aren't working.
Am I wittering?!!![|)] Sorry its just good to get it off me chest!! Dont want to be all doom and gloom, just roll on Spring!!
Julie xx
Julie,
My missus is a 39 year old housewife, no, make that 39 year old rock! If it weren't for her i'd be .... well, I don't know where.
You sound like a great old bird (I'm a 41 year old Jock so forgive my non-PC lingo!) who's got lots of positives in her life. I really wish you well and, like you, look forward to Spring so, so, so, much.
The lightbox might be a placebo, it might not, I don't care, it's not intrusive and, unlike a lot of people who take Citalopram, I sleep like a log at night so, if 'hubby' can afford it, get one and try it out?
I can empathise with you and genuinely wish you well during the dark months ahead ....... just think, in 8 or 10 weeks time we'll be looking at daffodils, leaving the heavy coats at home, welcoming the mornings rather than dreading them, driving home in daylight ....... not too long to go, we can make it!
Happiness and light to all,
'Chopper'
I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!
James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849
Thanks Chopper for lovely words of encouragement, but less of the old bird thank you very much!!!:D
It sounds as though we have been incredibly lucky with the partners we have, it does make life a little easier.
Have looked into Lightboxes and they are quite expensive but if it means I have a good nights sleep and feel better next day it would be worth every penny.
Take care and I'll be thinking of you when I'm running through daffodils!
Julie xx
I can relate to the winter problem, I had my first panic in winter, but there were other triggers, real triggers as well.
It defenitely is possible to have more good days than bad day, if we make necessary life style changes, follow a routine, with some effort to destress ourselves.
I disagree with Brains view that finding the root cause if finding the solution. Finding the root cause is a significant part of solving any problem, but thats not it, especially when it comes to anxiety. If the root cause is still not gone, then its even hard. If the root cause is gone, then it still involves a lots of life style changes and effort to have more good days than bad.
There are so many coping up strategies and try whichever we feel best suits us. We defenitely will improve.
asdf
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Thanks to everyone for all their words of encouragement, it really means a lot to have people to talk to who are going through the same thing, my husband and kids are a great support and whilst they understand that mum has good and bad days unless you are living it every day you really have no idea.
I have had CBT (helped for about 6 months), hypnotherapy(no help at all), psycotherapy (no help at all), medication (helped but dont want to take), all gave great tools to use but for some reason the panic is so bad at the moment that I have lost the ability to use them. Dont want to go back to seeing therapist every week because as I cant go on my own I feel too much guilt that husband and kids have to come with me and sit waiting for an hour in a waiting room of an evening when they should be at home in bed, they have done enough of that over the years and I would just feel bad making them do that again (kids are 12 and 9 years) especially as I had such a good summer that they think I am cured and they were really proud of me when I took them out on my own.
Lightbox sounds a good idea, will look into that thanks.
The best tips I have been given are from a book I downloaded off the internet from a man in America called Joe Barry it was called "Panic Away". It was really interesting, full of great tools that really worked for me when I first started reading it. It is all about inviting a panic in because we all know that we probably have had very few actual panic attacks but it is the fear of having one that really consumes our lives.
He sugggests standing in street forcing yourself to have a panic attack then when you feel the symptoms coming on say things like, "come on, is that the best you can do!" Stuff like that, he wants you to experience all the feelings, not run! Its a bit like standing up to a bully, if you run away they have won, if you stand up for yourself you are in control. Know it sounds weird and the last thing you'll want to do is to invite a panic attack when you spend most of your time avoiding them but it really worked for me.
This is why I feel a bit miserable at moment because I did find something that really worked for me but for some reason have lost abillity to put it all in to practice, thats why I think SAD is a definate possibility for me and not just an excuse as to why Joe Barry tools aren't working.
Am I wittering?!!![|)] Sorry its just good to get it off me chest!! Dont want to be all doom and gloom, just roll on Spring!!
Julie xx<div align="right">Originally posted by JulieA45 - 09 January 2007 : 09:58:37</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
check out review
www.panicawayforever.com
there is a free ebook with this offer as well that I thought was great.
Ben Nash
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