crying over holiday

[shopmad]

I posted a while ago in june saying I went to airport in june supposed to go to canada and couldn't get on the plane. Luckily I gota refund. I went to italy in october and I made it but I was just anxious the whole time. I rebooked canada last month and im supposed to go boxing day. Im sitting here crying because the idea of bn shut in for 8 hours and away from home is too much
I havent slept all week and I feel sick. I feel under so much pressure to go and is it worth it. I feel sick and all I want to do Is stay at home. My dad will kill me if I dont go a second time.

[Tessar]

Shopmad, have a look at these threads.......

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=151406

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=160570

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=159118

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=155750&highlight=Flying+fear

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=119038&highlight=Flying+fear

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=136318&highlight=Flying+fear

You might have heard the expression "practice makes perfect"?
Well..... A decade ago I was very scared of flying and I mean bad enough that my friends thought I would run away from the airport on my first trip abroad. Well, I didn't.
Since then I have gone from strength to strength. And what has got me there?
A combination of "facing my fear" and also flying whenever the opportunity arose.
You may think that I am only saying that to "get you to go on the plane". Well, to a degree I am but if you want me to I can point you in the direction of my own thread on here where I talk about facing my fear of flying and doing it on my own. How i was sure i'd burt into tears at take off & go to pieces. and did i? no. i have succeeded in conquering my fear and now am confident about getting on planes. I am able to do that with minimum fear & now can enjoy the experience at times.

Hope this all helps.

[debs71]

The only way to conquer this fear is to face it.....head on.

The more you cancel and stay at home, the worse your fear will become, until you are unable to travel anywhere, which is no life whatsoever.

I know exactly how you feel as I too have a fear of traveling away from home, especially by plane. This started for me after I had a panic attack mid-flight one time. I have booked and cancelled at least 4 flights/holidays over the past few years, and straight after doing so I regretted it immediately, because there is that very initial relief......but then you just kick yourself for letting it beat you, and invariably, for losing a lot of money in the process.

I have found that the anticipation of a trip is FAR, FAR WORSE than the actual event itself. The proof is in the pudding as you were able to manage a trip before, albeit feeling anxious, but the fact is that you did it. The more and more you do it, the less you fear it. It sounds impossible, but it is absolute truth.

I am now at the stage where I dread going for several days up until I am due to leave. The night before I am a bag of nerves and clock watch all night, getting hardly any sleep. The morning of travel I am jittery, telling myself i can't do it, but as soon as the taxi comes, my coping instinct kicks in and I just tell myself I am on my way and end of story.....as soon as I reach the airport I just manage and it is fine.

Please don't let this fear beat you. It loses it's power the more you face it. The anticipation is what creates that voice in your head that you can't do it, but you can.x

[shopmad]

thanks for your replies everyone, i had to cancel in the end. I really need to get past this, i've wasted so much money

[Tessar]

i'm sorry to hear that, but debs is right. the only way you can conquer the fear is to face it head on. it is not as bad as it seems. how about starting here by listing precisely what it is you are fearful of. then we can start to deal with it. bear in mind there are people on this forum who know how you feel & can relate strongly to your feelings. also they can give you extremely sound advice.

[shopmad]

The anxiety all started 11 years ago when i tried to kill myself. It was like flicking a switch and the panic attacks started. Since then my mom died when i was 16 and i used to think every ache and pain meant i was dying.

It just seems to flare up from time to time, i went to Rome in oct and even though i was very anxious i did go but i was nervous the whole time i was there about been away from home which i guess i see as my safe place. I've been for cbt and she said i need to face it head on so i went to Rome but I just can't seem to get to Canada (i was supposed to go in june and when i got to the airport i had a panic attack and had to cancel) so it can't happen a third time cause my Dad will probably kill me. And i'm tired of explaining to my family and friends why i keep cancelling. I'm on prozac 40mg because i used to have trouble breathing and now thats completely gone but i have this travel anxiety now.

it's not a fear of flying per se (i've been to new zealand and america before) it's the hours spent traveling even in this country i can't go more than half an hour without feeling nervous. I think it's been away from home and worrying that I might be ill or die and never get back.