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Shapeshifting Lizard
27-12-14, 04:12
I have a constant fear of eating. Almost obsessive, I will feel hunger pains but have no appetite. I will make excuses to not eat even when I'm hungry, like "that might be out of date", or, "if I go in there I will be offered more food than I want, by my granddad (who is always in the shapeshifting kitchen)". It sounds ridiculous, but it's serious, because I will go days without eating. And it's not because I'm worried about my figure, it's because I literally have a fear/obsession with not eating. Sunday dinners are the worst, because I have to eat with everyone else, and it disgusts me to do that, I want to eat ON MY OWN.

I don't think this is normal, otherwise I'd've found it, but I'm saying it's serious because I will neglect myself for days. So if anyone else has experienced this I'd love to know. It's not as simple as "just eat". I try, but then I just stop again. I eat, and then once I'm full eating disgusts me for hours and hours. The SMELL of food is worse than the smell of my own crap sometimes. I won't lie, my drinking plays a strong part in this, but since I was young I have always neglected my eating. I never felt "hunger" until I was 10, and even after skipping lunch, I would always be angry when it was "teatime". I just used to shove the food down me.

I'm 22, since I was 16 I've usually eaten the equivalent of only 1 meal per day.