View Full Version : Anxiety over HIV possiblity
6 or 7 years ago I was an insertive partner to a gay, it means that I am the one who is entering him, He blowjob me then, most of those moments are blowjob. I came on his anus like so fast because it was my first time doing it,so I am not sure if I really penetrated his anus so deep. I didn't wore condom because I was only a high school 6 or 7 years ago so I was immature and innocent about HIV at that time. It was only my first and only encounter with sex, I was tempted because he payed me for that anal sex, I am not a gay or Bisexual, I was just in need of money at that time, I know it was a very stupid mistake. By the way, I am circumsised. Now that I'm in my early 20's I have gain knowledge about health problems like HIV. I am planning of taking the HIV test in a couple of days(3 days maybe) but I have so many worries like what if someone I know might recognize me while going to the hospital and what if the result is a bad one? Those thoughts are killing me right now. What is the risk of insertive only with one exposure only? it was 6 or 7 years ago, will the test be accurate? Please any respond will help, anxiety and depression is killing me.
---------- Post added at 11:31 ---------- Previous post was at 08:02 ----------
No replies, I think no one really cares. I hope there are some replies that could atleast confort me before I will take the test in the 5th of January. :(
The best thing that you can do is calm down. The results will be very accurate if this happened 6-7 years ago - I would also assume that if you were HIV positive you would have had symptoms by this stage.
Try to relax and not think too far ahead until you get the results.
The best thing that you can do is calm down. The results will be very accurate if this happened 6-7 years ago - I would also assume that if you were HIV positive you would have had symptoms by this stage.
Try to relax and not think too far ahead until you get the results.
What symptoms are you pertaining to? Thank you for responding to this thread, I have no one to share this ordeal. I am 23 years old and I have a weight of 70 to 73kg and recently I have some sneezing and tonsilitis ,but now I am quite alright, I just have this freezing feeling and fast hearrbeats maybe because of stress and anxiety, I was really dumb to have made that mistake, I ask God for forgivness because it seems like I can't forgive myself. In a 6 or 7 years time what symptoms should I look out for? Please respond thanks.
Just go get the test for your peace of mind. HIV is a difficult virus to contract. I'm sure you've read and Googled and you would be presenting with health issues beyond a cold if indeed you had it in 6-7 years. I'm quite sure all will be well.
Positive thoughts
Your chances of contracting HIV are very, very slim to none.
HIV risk increases the more partners you have, and we are generally talking multiple partners, so exposure, after exposure without protection. If you have contracted HIV, most people get a flu type illness within (I think) 2-6 weeks after exposure.
I would be very surprised if you had contracted HIV from that one, very short lasting encounter.
Please try not to worry, but the only way to really set yourself free from this worry is to take a test. It is scary I know (I've had 2 myself, offered to me when I was having my nursing injections) but it is a simple test and will give you the answer you desperately need. :hugs:
Just go get the test for your peace of mind. HIV is a difficult virus to contract. I'm sure you've read and Googled and you would be presenting with health issues beyond a cold if indeed you had it in 6-7 years. I'm quite sure all will be well.
Positive thoughts
Yes I've Googled some things about HIV and mostly they say "you are at risk", and it makes my world upside down. I contacted the health clinic about HIV and they said they'll be open for HIV testing in January 5 because our country has a custom or a culture of
celebrating the holiday season beyond january 1(new years day). It is a burden for me to wait for how many days. I didn't enjoy my new year's day, I was faking smiles to my loved ones, I do really hope all is well if I will take the test, if you pray please include me and thank you for your time.
---------- Post added 01-01-15 at 00:30 ---------- Previous post was 31-12-14 at 23:57 ----------
Your chances of contracting HIV are very, very slim to none.
HIV risk increases the more partners you have, and we are generally talking multiple partners, so exposure, after exposure without protection. If you have contracted HIV, most people get a flu type illness within (I think) 2-6 weeks after exposure.
I would be very surprised if you had contracted HIV from that one, very short lasting encounter.
Please try not to worry, but the only way to really set yourself free from this worry is to take a test. It is scary I know (I've had 2 myself, offered to me when I was having my nursing injections) but it is a simple test and will give you the answer you desperately need. :hugs:
Thanks for the response. The problem that makes me worry is that I can't remember if I had flu like symptoms 2-6weeks after our exposure because it was 6 or 7 years ago, back from those days I have no idea about infections regarding sex and even simple medical infections, but now that I'm in my early 20's and currently in college I have gain awareness about some infections and I think I'm one of those people who gets depress over some illness that may be just a simple flu or cold. When I googled about HIV symptoms, websites tells me that it may be some flu like symptoms and rashes or cough or whatever and they say it may strike within 5 to 20 years. Last september I have a swollen lump on my underarms, maybe it was a lymp node? But it cleared on its own within a few days and recently just few weeks ago I have sore throat, some cough and fever, is this a sign of HIV? The day before I got those fever,cough,and sore throat I ate an ice cream with my friends and while eating ice creaming I was smoking at the same time, since acquiring those symptoms I stopped smoking and I'll never smoke again. I can't find any result in google about eating ice cream while smoking so I was searching and searching until I came to HIV. and now I am down and depressed, what if those symptoms are really a manisfestation that I am infected? I am so stupid for being carefree and foolish for doing insertive anal sex to a gay in exchange of money. Please include me on your prayers.
YOU are not stupid. You just did something that carried a risk. We have all done something in our lifetime that carries risk.
I am not going to list symptoms because all that will do is manifest your anxiety. You also need to stop reading and searching google.
You only have a couple more days to wait for the test and I can tell you that a once off encounter carries a risk BUT the risk is small. Far worse if it was repeat unsafe behaviour.
What's done is done and there isn't a thing you can do to change whatever the test result will be. All you are doing is sending your body and mind into panic while you wait for the tests and results.
I am sure your test will appear negative.
By the way, that incident 6 or 7 years ago was my only exposure to sex, it may be so embarassing that my first experience is from a gay one, I would've been proud if I penetrated a girl. Maybe I didn' have time for sexual life because I was so busy and serious in my college career. Now all my hopes and sacrifices are shattered(I'm considering myself HIV+ unless the test tells me that I am not. Am I paranoid?). And also one of my college mate and a close friend of mine, a lovely girl is my dream girl, in the future I planned to confess that I have feelings for her, BUT NOW I'm in a complete mess, my plan of confessing to her is in a halt right now, honestly I want her to be my wife but how can I hope for thaf if I have the risk of having HIV. Oh God I am so down :( By the way, I am a naturally pessimistic person. I really want the test as soon as possible.
You need to breathe.
You have HA. Have you ever worried about other symptoms in the past or is this the first time you have experienced fear with health?
YOU are not stupid. You just did something that carried a risk. We have all done something in our lifetime that carries risk.
I am not going to list symptoms because all that will do is manifest your anxiety. You also need to stop reading and searching google.
You only have a couple more days to wait for the test and I can tell you that a once off encounter carries a risk BUT the risk is small. Far worse if it was repeat unsafe behaviour.
What's done is done and there isn't a thing you can do to change whatever the test result will be. All you are doing is sending your body and mind into panic while you wait for the tests and results.
I am sure your test will appear negative.
Thank you for the positive vibes that you have. I am really considering myself as "infected" unless the test will carry a miracle. I hope God will give me a 2nd chance. I will never do such risky things again.
OK - so let's then work with a "worst case scenario".
What is your biggest fear if the test comes back positive?
You need to breathe.
You have HA. Have you ever worried about other symptoms in the past or is this the first time you have experienced fear with health?
In the spand of 6 or 7 years I really can't remember all the illness that I experienced, the last time I went to a hospital was last year maybe, I have a rash or skin infection in my right thumb, I can't remember the exact diagnosis but I think it was something like "derma hydrosis" , I am not so sure if thats the right term, It was a simple rash on my right thumb then picked it like picking a pimple then I wiped a cotton with hydrogen peroxide and an ointment,the next day the rash got worse,maybe it was infected by the procedure that I intended to clean it. Until my right thumb is swollen and I was worried that it is expanding, to my palm and wrist, so I decided to go to a doctor and she diagnosed with that "derma hydrosis" thing, she prescribed 2 medicines for anti bacterial and anti itch purpose and one cream(antibacterial ointment), after a few days all is well, the infection dried like a Snake that left his old skin. Was that a HIV infection?
---------- Post added at 01:14 ---------- Previous post was at 01:08 ----------
OK - so let's then work with a "worst case scenario".
What is your biggest fear if the test comes back positive?
I would commit suicide maybe? I really don't know, in my country HIV is a dreaded infection, majority of my countrymen's discriminates HIV infected persons.
---------- Post added at 01:19 ---------- Previous post was at 01:14 ----------
Oh I remember, it was a kind of eczema of hydro word on it, maybe hydro eczema. But it healed after using the medicines that the doctor prescribed. Is that a clue if I have HIV?
No, listen to what I asked you.
What is your biggest fear if the test comes back positive? Is it how your community and family would view you? Is it health consequences? Relationships?
No, listen to what I asked you.
What is your biggest fear if the test comes back positive? Is it how your community and family would view you? Is it health consequences? Relationships?
Sorry for that, I am so depressed right now, I even mistakenly used the shampoo as a facial wash, that is how I am disoriented right now,Stress and anxiety is taking its toll on me. It is pretty all of you have mentioned, fear of the judgemental society, fear of spending too much money for the medication(we are a poor family), and also fear of not having my own family, and also a fear that God will throw me in hell(You can laugh if you're a nonbeliever.)
I am Catholic :) I get it.
Sweetheart, the best thing that I can say to you to try to keep your panic under control is:
1) The chances of you having HIV from 1 unprotected sexual encounter is very very slim. The reason is slim is because firstly, you would have had to have had sex with someone who is already infected with HIV.
Now we don't know the other person's status - so I have done a search and found this from a very respectable site:
"Insertive anal sex, gay men, partner unknown status 0.06% (1:1666)"
See - the chances are so so slim that you are working yourself up in a panic over a 99.94% chance that you DON'T have HIV.
2) If you do happen to have HIV - you do not have to reveal your status to any employer. Don't worry about that sort of discrimination. It is so well managed these days that it is treated as a chronic condition.
3) If you do happen to have HIV - you can still maintain normal relationships.
BUT I MUST STRESS the chances you even have to worry about this is ridiculously small
I am Catholic :) I get it.
Sweetheart, the best thing that I can say to you to try to keep your panic under control is:
1) The chances of you having HIV from 1 unprotected sexual encounter is very very slim. The reason is slim is because firstly, you would have had to have had sex with someone who is already infected with HIV.
Now we don't know the other person's status - so I have done a search and found this from a very respectable site:
"Insertive anal sex, gay men, partner unknown status 0.06% (1:1666)"
See - the chances are so so slim that you are working yourself up in a panic over a 99.94% chance that you DON'T have HIV.
2) If you do happen to have HIV - you do not have to reveal your status to any employer. Don't worry about that sort of discrimination. It is so well managed these days that it is treated as a chronic condition.
3) If you do happen to have HIV - you can still maintain normal relationships.
BUT I MUST STRESS the chances you even have to worry about this is ridiculously small
Thank you for uplifting my spirit. You have spent time to waste on a pathetic creature like me. Thanks.. The odds is really low but I am kinda pessimistic person, my mind tells me that it is just a statistic,what if it is not accurate,what if,what if,and another "what if". But this forum is really a big help to express this burden on my shoulder. Please include me in your prayers, I will include you in my prayers too.. Maybe this will be the last time I'll be posting here, I will post again if the test day has been set and I hope the result is fast.
You are not a pathetic creature. What you are experiencing is stress and anxiety. I think that once this test is back and you realise that you are NOT HIV positive, the best thing that you can do for yourself is to get some help from a psychologist and work on your self worth.
You are a valuable person to society and to those who love you. You are entitled to make mistakes in life, but what you are not entitled to do is beat yourself up over it.
I can't wait to read the post where your result is negative.
I have talked to him, I went into their house and glad that I found him, he can't remember me though which I understand cause it was 7 years ago. He told me he thinks thar he is not a HIV positive since he's 28 and he should've lose some weight, although he admit that he didn't have any HIV test. I am so worried now, I forgot to ask him if he had multiple partner 7 years ago. I am so worried now, I have read in Google that tonsilitis or mouth thrust/dry mouth is also a HIV sign, I am crying now.
I think that you are obsessing too much on this worry, and convincing yourself that you are HIV positive, and the fact you had only one sexual encounter with this man immediately makes your chances of contracting it many, many times less likely, assuming that you have not left yourself open to risk several times over with other sexual partners.
HIV is NOT as easy to get as people think. To substantially increase the risk, it takes a person who is sleeping with multiple partners and for those people they have slept with to have slept with multiple partners, as every person involved adds another risk.
One of the HIV tests I took was for good reason. I was involved with a man for many years who I discovered had a long and irresponsible sexual history (whilst sleeping with me as well) sleeping with many, many women without using any protection. I was very scared because of this reason.
My test was negative, which is why I am quite certain that yours will be too. Yes, there is always a risk, but rationally and logically, your chances are slim.
I think that you are obsessing too much on this worry, and convincing yourself that you are HIV positive, and the fact you had only one sexual encounter with this man immediately makes your chances of contracting it many, many times less likely, assuming that you have not left yourself open to risk several times over with other sexual partners.
HIV is NOT as easy to get as people think. To substantially increase the risk, it takes a person who is sleeping with multiple partners and for those people they have slept with to have slept with multiple partners, as every person involved adds another risk.
One of the HIV tests I took was for good reason. I was involved with a man for many years who I discovered had a long and irresponsible sexual history (whilst sleeping with me as well) sleeping with many, many women without using any protection. I was very scared because of this reason.
My test was negative, which is why I am quite certain that yours will be too. Yes, there is always a risk, but rationally and logically, your chances are slim.
But I've talked to a person who is a volunteer of a private group who are urging people to get HIV test and he said I have a high risk cause he said they documented people who got HIV from their first exposure. So I am more stressed now, I think I can't wait until January 5 comes, I am having a panic deep inside my head.
You'll be fine. Only a few more days to go.
Let's deal with it once the result comes back. In the meantime, you need to stop stressing - it is not good for your health.
Take some deep breaths and try to get a handle on it.
I just can't relax, I wanted to, but my mind won't let me. Can I trust his words? He said if he was a carrier he should have been losing weight and sick, he's 28 now, 7 years ago he was 21. 7 years ago I was 16. So, does he make sense?
I just can't relax, I wanted to, but my mind won't let me. Can I trust his words? He said if he was a carrier he should have been losing weight and sick, he's 28 now, 7 years ago he was 21. 7 years ago I was 16. So, does he make sense?
It makes total sense. Now, if you could only get yourself to believe it ;)
Positive thoughts
I hope God would forgive me, I'll be wiser with the things that has risk, I hope the test will be a good news for me.
Hi otutuab,
It is the 5/1 in my country - not sure where you are.
Wondering if the test is going to happen shortly for you.
How are you going?
Hi mummato2, it is 11am here, the doctor told me to go back at 1pm for the test. I have no idea where to go now as I wait for 1pm to come, I really hope everything will be okay. Thanks for your concern, pray for me.
2 hours - not long to go! That will be the hardest part done :)
Is there a park or a calming place where you can go before the appointment?
I have no idea when I visited the hospital, I could never imagine how I did this on my own, I guess because I am desperate for the sake of ending this HIV anxiety. The first nurse I guess was shocked that someone is willing to volunteer since only few has the balls to go for a test. She asked me first: "What did the doctor said? Does he or she recommended this?" , I said: "Nope,I didn't visit a doctor, I would like to test just to be sure.". I am anxious now, Oh God please help me.
You'll be fine :) You have done the hardest part.
Do you know if this is the test that gives an instant indication or if you have to wait for the bloods to return from pathology?
You can always tell the nurse you are doing this because you have had unprotected sex in the past and would like to be assured. You don't have to give all the details if you aren't comfortable.
Thank you for the positive vibes that you have. I am really considering myself as "infected" unless the test will carry a miracle. I hope God will give me a 2nd chance. I will never do such risky things again.
You'll be fine :) You have done the hardest part.
Do you know if this is the test that gives an instant indication or if you have to wait for the bloods to return from pathology?
You can always tell the nurse you are doing this because you have had unprotected sex in the past and would like to be assured. You don't have to give all the details if you aren't comfortable.
I have no idea, I even don't know if what kind of test will they use, I would prefer rapid test so that I can get the result in minutes or few hours. Yeah I'll probably share my story to the doctor or nurse. Last night I could not sleep, and I have some stomach issues and my feet and hands are freezing. Is that due to anxiety?
Yes, that could very well be due to anxiety.
The rapid test will give you a quicker result, but isn't as accurate as the blood test. In Australia they do both if asked.
Not much longer to go.
Are you still at the hospital or did you go for a walk?
Yes, that could very well be due to anxiety.
The rapid test will give you a quicker result, but isn't as accurate as the blood test. In Australia they do both if asked.
Not much longer to go.
Are you still at the hospital or did you go for a walk?
I am walking on my way to the hospital again, I'll wait there since I have nowhere to go and since theres some benches outside that I can sit by. So should I ask for two tests? Or rapid is enough?
Rapid is a great start. It only has a 0.4% false result rate - which is good.
Check to see if they can do that test - otherwise the labs only takes a few days to turn around (depending on the lab)
Let me know once it's all done.
I am here at the testing clinic,outside the clinic, the doctor told me that I arrived too soon, it is 12 noon time, he told me it is their lunch break, he asked me to wait and he'll be back after eating. I am mindless right now, I am anxious and worried.
You've done the hardest part. Just keep hanging on for a little while longer. I'm sure the Dr can sense your anxiety and it will be good if he can allay some of your fears.
Hang in there - we can chat while you wait if you like?
---------- Post added at 15:22 ---------- Previous post was at 15:21 ----------
Tell me a bit about where you live.
Is it country or city?
You've done the hardest part. Just keep hanging on for a little while longer. I'm sure the Dr can sense your anxiety and it will be good if he can allay some of your fears.
Hang in there - we can chat while you wait if you like?
---------- Post added at 15:22 ---------- Previous post was at 15:21 ----------
Tell me a bit about where you live.
Is it country or city?
I am actually quite low on my cellphone battery so I think this will be my last posts, I'll be back when I get home. I live in the philippines, an asian country. Please do pray for me, I need prayers. Thank you so much for your time and concern, I am really hoping I'll be fine.God help me.
It will be fine :)
I'll look forward to your update
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