help please?

[abiii]

Hello. I am really suffering with obssessional thoughts. I am seeing a psychologist & its not helping she basically said she doesn't know how to help someone who experiences what I do. I have had ocd all my life but its only stood out in the last few years. Particularly this year I was distressed that I could of been a pedophile then I became obssesed with how I do my hair & makeup. Then I started having to think about steps for everything, then gad to recap order for everything & now I feel like I cant be in my own mind. Everything confuses me or I feel like I dont understand & I feel extremely negative & im constantly talking in my head about this problem. My brain wants to stop working now thinking seems to much for it l have a thought & my brain will want to know how the thought started & then say why am I thinking about that does it really matter & irl feel insane. Also irl doubt my actions & thoughts to an extreme & I feel like I dont know who I am. I am living in a nightmare of my own head. It feels like every aspect of my head is wrong. Situations will happen for example. This man said are you ok? I said yh are u? I felt strange, worried & negative. Then he said its cold in the pool isnt it? I said yh ive been in I doubted what id said & thought how can I say normal things but feel confused. This wouldnt drop in my head & I had a whole discussion about the pool & felt strange about all that. This all started after coming out of an abusive relationship a year ago & my mind is getting worst & im petrified of it. I feel like dying all the time & my head wants to shut off. It seems like my mind is so used to things upsetting me its automatically doing it with everything. Irl be looking at something for example & it doesnt know what to do so irl start saying things in the room & feel insane.Could you help me? Or please explain whats going on? Thank you.

[courierdude]

if you are asking yourself if you are insane then you are probably not.

whatever level you question your thoughts you still have at least the ability to acknowledge whatever it is that is happening to you.

eating, drinking sleep ok? stressful lifestyle? even something as uneventful as sleep deprivation can cause all the above symptoms, negative thinking, intrusive thoughts that seem to originate from elsewhere, detachment etc..

do you still fear some aspect of your past relationship that might intrude upon your life?

[abiii]

Yeah im eating fine. I sleep more than the average person about 13hrs a night. I dont really think about my past relationship as much as before. I know one thing I didnt feel like I dont know my own mind as much as this.

[courierdude]

have you been spending more time on your own than usual since your relationship ended? was it a long relationship for example and now that you are without it you have all this time to think or over do things?

you are obviously completely aware of what you are doing and obviously you function as anyone would. is these some great issue that you are confused about?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Aside from the intrusive thoughts, if sounds like you are suffering from racing thoughts which can make you feel like you are losing itbecause you just can't shut it off. It is very draining and will make you quite tired at times.

Your psychologist should know how to deal with this, seek guidance from a senior colleague or assist you in reaching someone who can help you.

I would suggest trying to calm your mind down to see if that helps reduce all this. This probably sounds ludicrous because its what you are already trying to do, but if you incorporate daily Mindfulness meditation into your life it will do this. I used to have racing thoughts a lot and have several forms of OCD, which are reduced or gone now, and Mindfulness taught me more control as well as how to let things go more easily.

If you then have an event that is causing your mind to replay it for hours, you can practice this to more beyond it.

Its clear that you display more than one form of OCD here; intrusive thought based, mental rituals, etc. I had several myself and some even combined with each other. What I found was that because I also have GAD I couldn't calm them down because the daily GAD was underpinning them. So, I worked on the GAD instead which reduced my underlying anxiety levels and some of my OCD reduced or disappeared and the rest then responded to my efforts against them.

So, also determine if you have underlying factors incase working on those will help.