New member coming to terms with anxiety/depression

[Helen300]

At the end of September last year out of nowhere I was at my local shop with my friend having just finished work, I suddenly became dizzy and felt really unwell and started to panic and had to get out of there. My friend didn't know what was wrong with me as I couldn't breathe properly, when I got home I had to sit down and still couldn't breathe, I started being sick and was seen by a doctor who diagnosed a stomach virus. The virus lasted six weeks so I had to be off work. I went back to work but things didn't feel the same, when I had to concentrate or speak to someone I got this strange pain on the left handside of my head, I was spending the day avoiding people and to and from the toilet feeling panicky. I was exhausted all the time and the journey on te bus to and from work was hell. I was relieved christmas was coming up not because it was christmas but because it meant I didn't have to be at work. I have been back and forward to the doctors because I am convinced something still wasn't right. I have had 3 blood tests everything is fine with that, my blood pressure is ok, I had been given antibiotics for 3 weeks to treat sinus and catarrh problems (they didn't work!). I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder and given Mirtazapine. I am currently not at work as I feel i just cannot cope with it. It seems my anxiety problems began the day I got ill with the virus, because my head went funny, the docs say I linked what was happening to me with what had recently happened to a work collegue of my friend, she had a brain heomorrage and died. I suppose it makes sense that I began to panic, I just didn't realise I would still be fearfull!I used to be very outgoing and sociable, with a job I loved a boyfriend and lots of friends. I now find it a struggle to get out of bed, I avoid all social situations, I am nothing like my old self. My boyfriend has lost patience with me because he can't understand what is wrong and why I can't/won't go out. Each day I doubt that it is anxiety making me feel this way. I can understand being on edge as I have always been a worrier but it's the physical symptoms I am struggling with, they are all on the left hand side of my head. Head pains, earache and fullness in the ear, jaw pain, feeling spaced out and unable to do normal things like put the kettle on without feeling weird. Am I that stressed out that even putting the kettle on makes me tired??!! I am going through a very difficult time and this site is a help at understanding what other people are dealing with. How do we learn to stop the worrying thoughts, I still believe I have a brain tumor making me feel this way, despite doctors reassurance. I have seen 4 dfferent docs so surely one of them would have picked something up from my symptoms. I have even considered asking for an MRI scan just to make sure. Feels like i'm going bonkers!! I just want my old life back.:( xx

[tommythomson]

Hi Helen

Hello and welcome on board.
Glad you've found the site. It is such a useful thing to talk to people who know what you're talking about. You'll get there, i'm sure.

T

[matt1981]

Hiya I have anxiety and like yourself it seemed to start out of the blue. have you tried congnitive behaviour therapy (CBT) it involves no tablets at all and it focuses on the worrying thoughts and how to challenge those thoughts and turn them into helpful positive thoughts. I think it could really work for you :)

take care and dont worry :)

matt x

[ceecee]

hi helen welcome to the forum
you,re not alone hun i could have wrote that myself!
i too think i have something physically wrong with me,but i have been many times to the doctors and even paid privatley to see a neurologist.please know that you are not alone,it does help
take care
rach x

[nomorepanic]

Hi Helen

Welcome aboard and lovely to see you here.

If you have been told it is all anxiety then I know it is hard to accept but you can start to change your life around - even though it is so hard to do.

Have a good read on the website - www.nomorepanic.co.uk for loads of good advice and suggestions on what to do.

Hope we can be of some help.

Nicola

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

[neelhm]

Hi Helen.
Your story is very similar to mine as I also first had one-sided symptoms and got very anxious as the doctor mentioned stroke due to my mother having had two a few years back. I had a clear CT scan and was checked out by a neurologist and gradually have come to accept that it is panic/anxiety that gives me all of those weird symptoms: muscle aches, numbness, pins and needles, heavy head, cotton wool in my left ear etc etc.
Try to notice if the symptoms get worse in certain situations or near certain people. I also try to look at it as a virus that flares up sometimes and which I will gradually get rid of. You will get your life back but it may take a some time. On the bad days it feels impossible I know but it is possible to recover.
The thing that really works for me is to do deep breathing. Try to concentrate on a square (eg window pane) and follow the lines breathing in for 4 secs, hold it for 4 secs, then out for 4 and wait for 4. If you do this regularly during the day, perhaps even once an hour, for 4 mins, it really will help, but you have to keep at it. If you breathe deeply it is not possible to have a panic attack and it gives you something to concentrate on too. Just make sure to do it slowly and not hyperventilate. It may feel uncomfortable as your body will fight against it, but soon it will become habit.
Also try to distract yourself and not listen to your body and all the symptoms. Trust the doctors and read some of the great posts on this site about health anxiety.
Take care.

[kittykat]

Hi Helen

Welcome to the forum, i'm sure you'll be fine and you will start to understand the horrible symptoms tht anxiety can cause, it completly changes you, but slowly i believe it is beatable.

take care

shirley xx

'' I am an optimist, but I'm an optimist who carries a raincoat. '' - Harold Wilson

[manmoor]

Hi Helen,

A big warm welcome to you.

Take Care

Mandyxx

[catherine24]

hi helen like you i feel there is something seriously wrong with me i convinced im going to have a heart attack i have been rushed to hospital twice in the last 3 months with pains in my chest and have had all sorts of tests that come back negative my husbands patience was wearing thin till imade him read the messages on this site take care catherine xxx

[honeybee3939]

Hi Helen

A Big warm welcome to you, lovely to see you here, im sure you will get some great advice, while making new friends on the way.:D

Love

Andrea
xxxx

"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"

[jos]

hi helen

checkout my post in

All Forums
- Problems / Issues
-Health Anxiety
-One sided feelings

you can do a search of "Jos" and "left" to get it
sorry not sure how to link posts

left sided symptoms are common enough from anxiety - very scary and lead to a lot of health anxiety - and over testing

have you tried massage or acupuncture to relieve muscle tension

good luck - you will pull through this - it will feel hard and unfair - but sometime soon
you'll feel the progress back to a life you can accept at first then enjoy sometime later

take it easy jos

[yorkylover]

Welcome Helen.:);):)

Ellen XX

[yorkylover]

Welcome helen;):);)

Ellen XX

[Lindalou64]

hi helen
sorry ya feeling so bad but from experience which im going thru now again stress can cause alot of weird or sickly feelings i didnt believe my doc at first but im watchin my routine and what goes on and when im gettin stressed over something its back the next day guess it took lots of yrs for me to catch up to me but i wish you the best and im sure you will find others who can relate..................Linda[8D]

[trac67]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care

Trac xx

'Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain'

[jaffa]

hi! i am new to this. I came to this site today in hope to find people who have had the same experiences as me. Well i have been agraphobic for 4 years, I am taking martazapine for my depression. i have a care worker who takes me out once a week. not far but hoping to get a bit further. I have to take 8 imodium and dizipam to do this. it's not much of a life. I used to be so outgoing. i was always the life and soul wherever i went. i was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome and it got so bad that i started to panick. it's a vicious circle with me as my panick attacks cause my irritable bowel and if i get a bad stomach it causes me to panick. It is so hard as i am a single mum of three but they understand what it is all about. my mum takes them to school and she also does my shopping and pays my bills. i can only think about that at the moment. i so wish i could be back to normal. at the moment i am suffering with severe toothache but all i can do is take pain killers as i can't even go to the dentist, although i am really going to have to soon. I don't know how though!I havn't had a panick attack for a while now but i know how scary they are, but that's also why i am agraphobic, because i stay in my comfort zone (home). my way of getting through is to think of all the people who are worse off than me with different illnesses. hope you start to feel better soon.