Jessica12
05-01-15, 14:33
So I normally don't do these kind of posts but I'm at a loss here and don't know what to do anymore.
I'm 24 years old and me and my boyfriend or i should say ex boyfriend, have started dating about 9 months ago. I was out of my previous relationship for about 9 months. And his ex girlfriend broke up with him 4 months prior. At first i was kind of scared that i was his rebound girl. But everything was perfect, he was so sweet to me unlike any other guy before. He made me see what a real relationship feels like. He introduced me to his family and all his friends. We even said that we loved each other and talked about moving in together and planning vacations together.
My parents however, are not the easiest people on the planet. So it took me a while before i felt ready to introduce him to my family. However, after 5 months dating i felt like it was time to finally introduce him. Also he really wanted to meet my parents and be able to hang out at my place.
The first three months of our relationship were absolutely great. We were hanging out 3 to 4 times a week. We were always hanging out at the beach, having dinner together, going to the movies, doing all sorts of activities together. Then i went on vacation with my friend for two weeks and he dropped me off and picked me up at the airport. And after i came back i noticed something different about him. Something was off i just didn't know what. Then he told me that when i was gone he started having panic attacks and agoraphobia.
After that our whole relationship seemed to have slowed down. He stopped working, we couldn't go out anymore or do any kind of activities. We were just hanging out at home watching movies all the time. It was getting boring for me but I never thought about leaving him, i just wanted to support him and be there for him. He was really honest with me, whenever he had a panic attack and had to go to the emergency room with his mom he would let me know. And we would talk about it all the time. He started going to therapy and he even asked me to go to his doctor together two week before we broke up which we did. He wasn't using any meds and wanted to try to get better through therapy first. He had good days and bad days. Sometimes he was able to go out for dinner and sometimes he wasn't. I tried to get him to go to the movies with me since his therapist had told him to try and face his fears, but he didn't want to and i let him slide. He tried to start working several times but it just wasn't working. And even though we wouldnt go out anymore, our relationship was still good. I felt like he was still in love with me and needed me more than i needed him. We were still talking about moving in together. Everyting was just normal except we didn't go out as much as we used to anymore.
Until a couple of weeks ago. It was my birthday and we were gonna go out to celebrate with a couple of friends and he would stay over at my place afterwards. He came to pick me up and told me that he didn't get me anything for my birthday cause he had no idea what to get me. Please don't judge me or get me wrong when i say this, cause its not about the money he spends on me but it really hurt me because i felt like he didn't make any effort. And i know that he would always get anything for his ex girlfriend. Not just on her birthday but on a regular basis. At that point i started realizing how he never got me anything like he used to with his ex. Now, i'm not the kind of girl who expects all of these things from him, but when you know what your bf was like with his ex, you start wondering why he won't do it for you? Anyways, after my birthday party we came home, and he suddenly said that he got a call from his co worker and had to go to work the next day which is why he couldnt stay over anymore. Which was a huge red flag for me. I didn't know what was going on with him but something was up. The next day he came over again cause that was the actual day of my birthday. I felt so hurt about how he acted the previous day, that i couldn't help being a little withdrawn from him. He was asking me the whole time why i was so quite. I couldn't tell him cause i didn't know how which was obviously a huge mistake. After he went home he txt msgd me and was really sweet and asked me if i wanted to go shopping the next day. I fell asleep and saw his msg the next day. I said ok lets go. And suddenly out of nowhere he was being so indifferent. Said that he couldnt go cause he had to go somewhere with his mom. When i asked him what he was going to do he said i don't know. the rest of the week he was acting super distant and withdrawn. We hadn't seen each other so i called him a couple times asking why he was acting that way. He just got pissed at me for worrying about nothing and said he was just feeling not feeling well. I left him alone for a couple of days and called the week after. I told him to be honest with me and break up if thats what he wanted. He said he had panic attacks again and didn't want to break up with me but just needed a little bit of time. I said ok, but what do you expect from me? do you want me to keep calling and texting you? He said yes. Two days later i called him again. He didn't pick up. I texted him the next day, he didn't reply. Finally i msgd his mom to see what going on. She said he wasn't feeling well but he would get better and that i didn't need to worry. Me and his mom had a good relationship she called me her daughter all the time. and she was going on vacation the next day so i wished her a good trip. After not hearing from him for another week after his parent left, i called my sister in law. Asked her what was going on and she said "He didn't tell you did he?" I felt like someone punched me in the face..i didn't understand where this was coming from. He told her we had broken up, but never told me. We both cried on the phone cause she didn't understand where it was coming from either. He didn't tell her why just like he didn't tell me. I send him an angry txt msg right after, calling him an ******* and how he could do this to me.. no reply of course.
How cruel is that? How can this happen? what changed? i just don't understand. I thought everything was good between us.. I just feel so alone and unhappy. I've been crying for weeks now. And i just want to know why? why did he leave me like this. How can someone do this to the person they love?
Yesterday i found out that he has deleted me off Facebook. Yet another blow in my stomach. I feel like he doesnt want me in his life anymore..I just don't know how i'm going to get over this. I don't know whether he did this because of his panic attacks or did he use me as a rebound?
Please help me.. Is there anybody who experienced something like this? And what do i do?
I'm 24 years old and me and my boyfriend or i should say ex boyfriend, have started dating about 9 months ago. I was out of my previous relationship for about 9 months. And his ex girlfriend broke up with him 4 months prior. At first i was kind of scared that i was his rebound girl. But everything was perfect, he was so sweet to me unlike any other guy before. He made me see what a real relationship feels like. He introduced me to his family and all his friends. We even said that we loved each other and talked about moving in together and planning vacations together.
My parents however, are not the easiest people on the planet. So it took me a while before i felt ready to introduce him to my family. However, after 5 months dating i felt like it was time to finally introduce him. Also he really wanted to meet my parents and be able to hang out at my place.
The first three months of our relationship were absolutely great. We were hanging out 3 to 4 times a week. We were always hanging out at the beach, having dinner together, going to the movies, doing all sorts of activities together. Then i went on vacation with my friend for two weeks and he dropped me off and picked me up at the airport. And after i came back i noticed something different about him. Something was off i just didn't know what. Then he told me that when i was gone he started having panic attacks and agoraphobia.
After that our whole relationship seemed to have slowed down. He stopped working, we couldn't go out anymore or do any kind of activities. We were just hanging out at home watching movies all the time. It was getting boring for me but I never thought about leaving him, i just wanted to support him and be there for him. He was really honest with me, whenever he had a panic attack and had to go to the emergency room with his mom he would let me know. And we would talk about it all the time. He started going to therapy and he even asked me to go to his doctor together two week before we broke up which we did. He wasn't using any meds and wanted to try to get better through therapy first. He had good days and bad days. Sometimes he was able to go out for dinner and sometimes he wasn't. I tried to get him to go to the movies with me since his therapist had told him to try and face his fears, but he didn't want to and i let him slide. He tried to start working several times but it just wasn't working. And even though we wouldnt go out anymore, our relationship was still good. I felt like he was still in love with me and needed me more than i needed him. We were still talking about moving in together. Everyting was just normal except we didn't go out as much as we used to anymore.
Until a couple of weeks ago. It was my birthday and we were gonna go out to celebrate with a couple of friends and he would stay over at my place afterwards. He came to pick me up and told me that he didn't get me anything for my birthday cause he had no idea what to get me. Please don't judge me or get me wrong when i say this, cause its not about the money he spends on me but it really hurt me because i felt like he didn't make any effort. And i know that he would always get anything for his ex girlfriend. Not just on her birthday but on a regular basis. At that point i started realizing how he never got me anything like he used to with his ex. Now, i'm not the kind of girl who expects all of these things from him, but when you know what your bf was like with his ex, you start wondering why he won't do it for you? Anyways, after my birthday party we came home, and he suddenly said that he got a call from his co worker and had to go to work the next day which is why he couldnt stay over anymore. Which was a huge red flag for me. I didn't know what was going on with him but something was up. The next day he came over again cause that was the actual day of my birthday. I felt so hurt about how he acted the previous day, that i couldn't help being a little withdrawn from him. He was asking me the whole time why i was so quite. I couldn't tell him cause i didn't know how which was obviously a huge mistake. After he went home he txt msgd me and was really sweet and asked me if i wanted to go shopping the next day. I fell asleep and saw his msg the next day. I said ok lets go. And suddenly out of nowhere he was being so indifferent. Said that he couldnt go cause he had to go somewhere with his mom. When i asked him what he was going to do he said i don't know. the rest of the week he was acting super distant and withdrawn. We hadn't seen each other so i called him a couple times asking why he was acting that way. He just got pissed at me for worrying about nothing and said he was just feeling not feeling well. I left him alone for a couple of days and called the week after. I told him to be honest with me and break up if thats what he wanted. He said he had panic attacks again and didn't want to break up with me but just needed a little bit of time. I said ok, but what do you expect from me? do you want me to keep calling and texting you? He said yes. Two days later i called him again. He didn't pick up. I texted him the next day, he didn't reply. Finally i msgd his mom to see what going on. She said he wasn't feeling well but he would get better and that i didn't need to worry. Me and his mom had a good relationship she called me her daughter all the time. and she was going on vacation the next day so i wished her a good trip. After not hearing from him for another week after his parent left, i called my sister in law. Asked her what was going on and she said "He didn't tell you did he?" I felt like someone punched me in the face..i didn't understand where this was coming from. He told her we had broken up, but never told me. We both cried on the phone cause she didn't understand where it was coming from either. He didn't tell her why just like he didn't tell me. I send him an angry txt msg right after, calling him an ******* and how he could do this to me.. no reply of course.
How cruel is that? How can this happen? what changed? i just don't understand. I thought everything was good between us.. I just feel so alone and unhappy. I've been crying for weeks now. And i just want to know why? why did he leave me like this. How can someone do this to the person they love?
Yesterday i found out that he has deleted me off Facebook. Yet another blow in my stomach. I feel like he doesnt want me in his life anymore..I just don't know how i'm going to get over this. I don't know whether he did this because of his panic attacks or did he use me as a rebound?
Please help me.. Is there anybody who experienced something like this? And what do i do?