Help, terrified!

[health]

Hi Everyone, new here but not new to health anxiety, have suffered for around 12 years with times when it's been really bad and not so bad. Last bad episode was after the birth of my son 6 years ago. This current episode has just hit bad, I couldn't sleep last night, have been lying in bed today unable to function or eat. I have a 3,000 word essay due in 3 days that I have only written 300 words of because I just cannot focus on anything other than being convinced I have a brain tumour. I was getting a lot of headaches in November/Deccember mainly at front/right side and thought I was having some tinlgy numb sensations in my left hand. Went to opticians, had pressures checked all fine, started wearing glasses more, headaches gone. Now 2 weeks ago I started getting numb tingliness in my left foot (ball of foot and some toes) and parts of left hand, coming and going. Visited doctor yesterday, she said it was a strange set of symptoms that didn't really fit any diagnosis, getting blood tests on thursday, came home, looked at google and convinced its a brain tumour.

I don't know if this has all started since hearing so much about brain c****r in the news last year and also reading about a particular lady who has terminal brain c****r and is only 28 and has a 3 year old son, the story really affected me and upset me, she had right facial numbness and loss of use of her right hand, I keep checking in on her on facebook and instagram. I don't know if I have developed these symptoms after reading this or if my symptoms are even real, I hope they aren't! Yesterday I felt like the tingly numbness of my foot wasn't as pronounced more the pinky of my left hand but today I feel both are really bad and a headache, is it stress? is it anxiety? is a brain tumour? I feel like I can't waste my time writting an essay when I could be terminally ill. I'm so upset and don't know what to do with myself, please help. Sorry this is so long and probably incoherent.

[crystal17]

HI sorry to hear you're going through all this :hugs:

If you've recently been to the opticians thats a good sign as they do notice some things related to the brain, so that is some reassurance.

However, you sound extremely overwhelmed by this fear and by all the pressure due to the essay you have to do - I've been there and know how stressful study is when you're anxious!

Have you seen a doctor or counsellor about your fears and worries? I know you went yesterday about the symptoms but it might help to ask for a referral for CBT or counselling.

[health]

Hi thank you for your reply. Yeah I saw a psychologist for a year around 4 years ago for CBT and it did help as at the time I was convinced I was terminally ill, I'm also on sertraline. My worries seem to go between cervical cancer, breast cancer, bowel cancer and brain cancer. I've not felt this bad in years though. I hope it's just anxiety but I've got all the what if thoughts that this time it might really be a brain tumor and this time it might be real and I'm going to die. I'm considering contacting my gp for diazepam today.

[crystal17]

It's weird, whenever we get a new fear we seem to think "This time its for real, the others were just anxiety but this one is different!"...I think that is the pattern of health anxiety.

Please just try to stay calm, even if it means faking it by doing slow breathing exercises while your mind is racing. If you can physically let it wash over you it helps a bit.

This sounds odd but try not to fight your thoughts - explore them even, start thinking about if you did have these illnesses, what would it mean to you? How would you cope? Let your mind dare to wonder about it. Because that helps in a couple of ways - it can help you to discover the root cause of your worries and what is driving them deep down, and also it helps to take some power away from them by not being scared of them. Try and just think of them in a matter of fact way.

Not saying they will magically disappear and you will stop worrying, but it may work for you, I know its been a tremendous help for me after years of health anxiety.

Also, ask the GP to refer you for CBT again, I'm sure it will help once again :hugs:

[herbie73]

Hi health, I only joined this forum a week or so, I have been the same as you, but I am convinced iI have breast cancer, I went to docs who said I was fine but its hard to get rid of the fear once it is there, I'm obsessing because my slightly bigger boob is very slightly softer than the smaller one, no lumps nothing but Istill ccan't get it out of my head, probably sounds completely irrational, also when I found a red patch on the same boob Ideveloped a burning pain as soon as it went so did the pain, just shows you what your mind can do, if you need to chat iI am here for you,big hugs Herbie xxx