Don't Know What To Do

[Shelly06]

I've had bad Social Anxiety all my life (now 33) only last year did I get help at the doctors, they got me on medication, had one assessment late last year for CBT but she deemed me too severe for her to handle and referred me to the level above for which I'm still awaiting another assessment and then it could be a six month wait.

I live with my partner and he's off work at the moment with a bad injury for which he's awaiting surgery, money is really, really tight and this is creating arguments between us, I do what little work I can online but it's usually never more than £60 a week, sometimes only £30-40 which just about covers food shopping but isn't enough and we are struggling. I'm not on any benefits am too scared to apply. He keeps trying to force me to apply for jobs (which I've had before but find them so hard to keep up with the constant anxiety)

I'm totally and utterly fed up, I've never had any money, can never buy anything, now we're needing it for bills and such like, it makes me feel sick every single day, I don't know what to do, even just thinking of applying for a job makes me feel shaky and sick, but I need to do something.

What has other people done? What would you do?

Thank you in advance for any replies.

[.Poppy.]

Applying for jobs can be really hard, I understand you there. The entire process seems daunting. I worked as a waitress for a year and absolutely hated it - it sent my anxiety through the roof and I dreaded every shift. When I left and had to get a different job, I figured it would be the same - but it wasn't! I actually loved my next two jobs, one that I still work and the other that I was very sad to leave. So it can be done!

Why are you afraid to apply for benefits, first off? I live in the USA so I don't know all that you may be eligible for, but if you are eligible for anything it would do you to to apply as the extra money could come in handy.

As for searching for a job - maybe ask yourself what you'd feel comfortable doing. A part time job in an office or something outside like helping out a landscape company could be better for your anxiety as you may not have to interact with others as much. Maybe look for something that doesn't have a lot of hours right out of the gate, so that you work some days but have others off to regenerate yourself - and you can always get more hours later.

I hope you find you way, find some therapy and find your strength :) It's easy to see that you want to move on with your life - I get that way too - it's just hard to find the how sometimes. But you can do it!

[dancer58]

Hi. I feel for you so bad ! I've been stuck in the UK benefits system for years now and it's a terribly undignified state. I would take a job YESTERDAY if it was something I could do without an interview, without too much social interaction and with people who appreciate I might need time out now and then to gather and ground myself. Ha ha. The imaginary prefect job!
Negotiating the current benefits system is a nightmare. So I appreciate where you're coming from but you can't live on nothing and it might be a gateway to other help?
Guess my advice would be take a deep breath and your partners hand for support, and dive into the nearest job centre. Once you get in- even if you break down or panic, they should see you need help and DO something.
Best of luck. Sending you helpful vibes
Dancer58 :yesyes: