View Full Version : Scared I have bladder cancer and FED UP of contstantly obsessing over symptoms :(
snowflake293
08-01-15, 13:40
Hi all
After a bit of advice and support on how I deal with my cancer fear...
I had a bladder infection almost 3 weeks ago and even though the infection has gone now (had this confirmed by having urine tests) I am still experiencing burning. I saw a Dr on Monday who gave me some steroid cream to use down there as she said I am probably irritated (I had suspected thrush too) and if it isn’t calmed down in a week to go back and she will examine me. It burned after I had a wee late yesterday morning then the burning went off, and the same happened today but its still burning! I haven’t been drinking much water though so just downed a load now hoping that will help.
Anyway I am panicking cause I am on day 4 of the cream now and I am still burning after I wee and the opening to my urethra feels really sore! I am scared I have some sort of cancerous growth up there that is causing it or something is seriously wrong.
I am paranoid I have bladder or urethra cancer, or I have kidney cancer that is blocking my tubes. The Dr who tested my urine on Monday said it was healthy with no infection or blood etc... but I just can’t stop worrying. Why am I STILL burning down there?!
I have been feeling so tired lately too which I am now thinking is because I have cancer!
Basically I just feel like I can’t enjoy my life cause every time I have any sort of illness, however minor it may seem, I diagnose myself with cancer and really seem to focus on all the symptoms... it’s like the symptoms feel worse cause I know they are there so they are all I think about! I just want to stop.
I am only 30 and my boyfriend has said he is going to propose this year and we’ve got a lovely holiday planned and allsorts, my job is going great etc... I have everything in the world to be happy about and look forward to but I am just CONVINCED I will have it all snatched away from me by getting cancer and being seriously ill! I just can’t cope with this CONSTANT fear!!!
Sorry to go on, but I just can’t concentrate on anything else at the mo and I needed to get this off my chest.
Can anyone offer some tips of how I get through this please?
Thanks xx
UTI symptoms like burning can go on for a while, even after the infection has been treated, however when you mention burning, is it the SKIN that is burning or a burning sensation when you wee? I assume that it's the skin outside, as you mention the opening to your urethra.
If it is the skin/labia when you wee, yep, that sounds like thrush. If it is a kind of internal burning pain when weeing, that is still UTI symptoms.
Thrush is a nightmare, and can take a while to clear up, and consistent treatment. I use Canesten cream. I find it the best for calming down symptoms, and the terrible burning you get...so sore. It can be bought over the counter....but I am also not sure what the doctor gave you? Is it an antifungal like Clotrimazole with a steroid in it? I only ask as a steroid cream alone (I doubt) will help if it is thrush. Thrush needs an antifungal cream. Does your doctor think it may just be irritated/inflamed skin and not thrush? In that case, I can see why they would prescribe a steroid.
Anyway, I don't believe at all that you have anything sinister as you are worried about. C does not show itself that way. It is far more likely to be thrush. It is extremely common and very uncomfortable as you describe.
You fears are just anxiety driven. What you have is not untreatable, and does not sound anything serious at all to me. Instead of thinking the worst, you must replace those thoughts with, 'I had an infection, this is just the same, and it will clear up'. Nothing indicates anything dodgy.x
snowflake293
08-01-15, 15:20
Thanks Debs
It is a bit of both really, it burns a bit when I wee – but after I wee the skin burns a bit too.
My labia were swollen and itchy before Christmas a few days after my UTI started and the Dr had a look and said she couldn’t be sure as it wasn’t ‘presenting’ as thrush as I’ve had no discharge, but to use Canesten Combi (pessary and cream) which I did and it settled a little then came back, was using the cream for about a week and it just wasn’t shifting. She said to use condoms with my partner for a week too which I did.
When I saw the Dr on Monday and explained my symptoms she said she thinks the skin is irritated from the UTI and the possible thrush and has given me Nystaform cream which is a mild steroid and anti fungal cream which she said should help settle it down. She said if it isn’t better in a week to come back and she will examine me. Her saying this has worried me cause now I am thinking she will be looking for signs of cancer...
Both yesterday and today its burned after weeing and I haven’t really drank much water so I think that could be a factor too.
It’s a bit red/swollen down there too and I am a silly girl cause I have been having sex the last few days (it doesn’t hurt during or after at all though) so perhaps that is irritating it?
I agree my fears are anxiety driven and I am trying as best I can to rationalise it... just sometimes the idea sets in and I can’t think of anything else.
My HA has just got worse and worse lately and I think I imagine a lot of my symptoms to be WORSE than they are because I am focusing solely on them. For example, I woke up this morning with a lot of pain and stiffness in my back so was worrying about that, I can STILL feel the sensations there but less so because now I am panicking over my burning sensation.
I am just scared of having tests and if they want to put a camera or there or do a swap or anything I will go to pieces. I cannot cope with waiting on test results L
x
Snowflake,
I can't comment on the female symptoms but I can comment on how to get some of the worry under control. It's what I've said as well as many others have said. We can say it, but it comes down to you acting on it.
After my illnesses I suffered from some depression and "scanxiety". It's understandable and rather common in cancer survivors. I knew what was going on just like you do. Deep down you know you have anxiety and don't have cancer but the HA dragon prevents you from moving on. I couldn't do it on my own and while forums and words on a screen can be comforting, they don't physically address the problem. It's like looking at a bottle of medicine but not taking it.
Seek out a therapist that can talk to you about the worries you're feeling and address ways to deal with them, enable you with tools and techniques and perhaps even recommend a medication that can help while you're working on this.
You have a life ahead of you to live. Don't live it in fear.
Positive thoughts
snowflake293
08-01-15, 15:52
Thanks Fishmanpa :)
My Mom suffers with depression and health anxiety after having cancer two years ago. I agree with what you say, deep down I know I have anxiety and not cancer but I just can't seem to shake the fear and dread and it is stopping my living my life :weep:
I agree forums and words on a screen are a comfort, but it is just like looking at a bottle of medicine and not taking it - good way of putting it!
I am having CBT and it is helping but it is taking time. I am just so tired of every tiny little health problem, symptom, change, fear, being CANCER to me.
I have been taking Sertraline for almost a month now and I do feel much better on it. I have been worrying less in general, apart from the odd blip like today. I find it makes me sort of 'indifferent' to the fears if that makes sense? Like they ARE there, but bother me less.
Thanks again
"I find it makes me sort of 'indifferent' to the fears if that makes sense? Like they ARE there, but bother me less."
That's a good way of putting it. I have a chill pill I can take when needed and it does the same thing. It's like I'm still a bit stressed about things but don't quite give a !(@&^#$ ~lol~ It also lessens the time my mind fixates so I move onto other things easier.
Positive thoughts
snowflake293
08-01-15, 16:42
The medication really helps. For me, I find the Sertraline is helping me to ‘think normally’ but I also take Diazepam when I am in a real funk! It just takes the edge off for me, and like you put it – helps my mind move onto other things.
I resisted going back onto an SSRI for a long time as I was on fluoxetine for 10 years and citalopram on and off for a year or two (none of this was for HA, all for eating disorder and depression) so it was a big deal for me going back onto something – I am glad I did though because I do feel (apart from the odd set back like today) that I am starting to get over it.
Gonna try not to focus on the burning sensation now. I am convinced it is worse cause I am thinking about it too much! Its not burning enough to be a problem anyway, its just like a ‘sensation’ if that makes sense. I seriously don’t think burning down there is an indication of cancer anyway, not gonna Google it though cause I am trying to wean myself off the dreaded Dr G!
Thanks Debs
It is a bit of both really, it burns a bit when I wee – but after I wee the skin burns a bit too.
My labia were swollen and itchy before Christmas a few days after my UTI started and the Dr had a look and said she couldn’t be sure as it wasn’t ‘presenting’ as thrush as I’ve had no discharge, but to use Canesten Combi (pessary and cream) which I did and it settled a little then came back, was using the cream for about a week and it just wasn’t shifting. She said to use condoms with my partner for a week too which I did.
When I saw the Dr on Monday and explained my symptoms she said she thinks the skin is irritated from the UTI and the possible thrush and has given me Nystaform cream which is a mild steroid and anti fungal cream which she said should help settle it down. She said if it isn’t better in a week to come back and she will examine me. Her saying this has worried me cause now I am thinking she will be looking for signs of cancer...
Both yesterday and today its burned after weeing and I haven’t really drank much water so I think that could be a factor too.
It’s a bit red/swollen down there too and I am a silly girl cause I have been having sex the last few days (it doesn’t hurt during or after at all though) so perhaps that is irritating it?
I agree my fears are anxiety driven and I am trying as best I can to rationalise it... just sometimes the idea sets in and I can’t think of anything else.
My HA has just got worse and worse lately and I think I imagine a lot of my symptoms to be WORSE than they are because I am focusing solely on them. For example, I woke up this morning with a lot of pain and stiffness in my back so was worrying about that, I can STILL feel the sensations there but less so because now I am panicking over my burning sensation.
I am just scared of having tests and if they want to put a camera or there or do a swap or anything I will go to pieces. I cannot cope with waiting on test results L
x
Hi again hun.
I would lay money that the C word isn't even in her thoughts at all. If she had any notion of that, she wouldn't sit on it, and from what I understand, cancer just does not present with your symptoms.
I did want to ask if you had been sexualy active of late, but felt it a bit too personal! The reason is that sex can DEFINITELY bring on thrush and
also irritate and upset the labia, so it could be either or going on.
I have had this several times after being with my boyfriend who lives abroad. Because we are infrequently 'together' (ahem..so to speak) I also suffer this kind of irritation or thrush afterwards. I have experienced the burning skin as you mention, and also have a tendency to get a UTI too, so have the burning when weeing too.....oh the joys of womanhood!
Thrush in particular can be a REALLY, REALLY stubborn bugger to get rid of. It does often take the application of meds to be very consistent for several days, sometimes much longer to knock it on the head.
Sexual intimacy will also make the burning feel worse, but also you can or may have JUST irritation from being sexually active, depending on how active you are, as it were.
I would see how things go as your doc said. Keep going with the cream for the moment, as it could just be stubborn. If it doesn't calm down from the cream, it may well mean that it isn't thrush at all, but I'm absolutely certain as certain can be that you don't have ANYTHING serious or untreatable. i have had all of your symptoms, and it all calmed down, so please don't worry.
As for the worry about any exams or cameras, that won't happen I am sure. A swab could happen if there is something to swab, but I promise you that whatever the case, this is doubtless solveable.x:hugs:
I'm a 12 year old boy and I get them a lot
---------- Post added at 20:33 ---------- Previous post was at 20:32 ----------
That is not normal for a boy
---------- Post added at 20:39 ---------- Previous post was at 20:33 ----------
Doctors said I'm fine and I got 2 in one week
snowflake293
08-01-15, 22:10
Hi again hun.
I would lay money that the C word isn't even in her thoughts at all. If she had any notion of that, she wouldn't sit on it, and from what I understand, cancer just does not present with your symptoms.
I did want to ask if you had been sexualy active of late, but felt it a bit too personal! The reason is that sex can DEFINITELY bring on thrush and
also irritate and upset the labia, so it could be either or going on.
I have had this several times after being with my boyfriend who lives abroad. Because we are infrequently 'together' (ahem..so to speak) I also suffer this kind of irritation or thrush afterwards. I have experienced the burning skin as you mention, and also have a tendency to get a UTI too, so have the burning when weeing too.....oh the joys of womanhood!
Thrush in particular can be a REALLY, REALLY stubborn bugger to get rid of. It does often take the application of meds to be very consistent for several days, sometimes much longer to knock it on the head.
Sexual intimacy will also make the burning feel worse, but also you can or may have JUST irritation from being sexually active, depending on how active you are, as it were.
I would see how things go as your doc said. Keep going with the cream for the moment, as it could just be stubborn. If it doesn't calm down from the cream, it may well mean that it isn't thrush at all, but I'm absolutely certain as certain can be that you don't have ANYTHING serious or untreatable. i have had all of your symptoms, and it all calmed down, so please don't worry.
As for the worry about any exams or cameras, that won't happen I am sure. A swab could happen if there is something to swab, but I promise you that whatever the case, this is doubtless solveable.x:hugs:
Thanks so much Debs that has really put my mind at rest :)
My symptoms have gone from just a burning urethra to itchy labia now and a slight discharge so sticking with the cream the Dr gave me and going to lay off the sex for a while lol :blush:
TMI alert... but I do have quite a lot of sex with my boyfriend (we only moved in together a few months ago so we are in that stage lol!) will find it tough keeping away from him for a bit but have given him strict instructions to remind me of how I feel right now next time I pounce on him :roflmao:
Worrying less about it being the C word now, thank you so much for helping me put it into perspective.
Saw my friend tonight which helped take my mind of things, back home now in my PJs with a cuppa about to watch a film with my fella so feeling loads calmer. Thanks :D
x
snowflake293
11-01-15, 08:52
Really stressing as the burning is back!!!
Had 2 days of it being ok, but last night after a bath it started to REALLY burn and is still burning this morning.
Surely if I had something deadly it wouldn't come and go like this, but I can't get the idea out of my head - especially as I have some pain under my ribs and in my back. I am worried something is wrong, but I am trying to rationalise it...
I think it has gotten worse as I had a bubble bath last night and put a LOT of bubble bath in and was in there about an hour! Hoping it eases off as the day goes on but it burns so bad and whenever I feel sensations like this it just makes me worry something is seriously wrong :(
Really worrying that it is linked to my rib/back pain and C word fear gone into overdrive.
:(
I think it has gotten worse as I had a bubble bath last night and put a LOT of bubble bath in and was in there about an hour!
This is probably the issue.
You are supposed to avoid all fragranced or fancy soaps/shower gels/bubble bath if you have thrush. It is a a big no-no, as these things both can cause thrush and also irritate it and make it worse.
When I have it, I find another thing that helps get rid of it faster is to leave underwear off, and the area exposed, when in bed at night (if you can) Like any fungal infection, thrush thrives on darkness and moisture. When it is open to the elements it calms down. This is also more comfortable for you, although may be somewhat chilly in January! :wacko:
I have found a webpage that may help:
http://www.womens-health-concern.org/help/factsheets/fs_thrush.html
Try not to fret over this.xx:hugs:
snowflake293
11-01-15, 11:32
This is probsbly the issue.
You are supposed to avoid all fragranced or fancy soaps/shower gels/bubble bath when you have thrush. It is a a big no-no, as these things both can cause thrush and also irritate it and make it worse.
When I have it, I find another thing that helps get rid of it faster is to leave underwear off, and the area exposed, when in bed at night (if you can) Like any fungal infection, thrush thrives on darkness and moisture. When it is open to the elements it calms down. This is also more comfortable for you, although may be somewhat chilly in January! :wacko:
I have found a webpage that may help:
http://www.womens-health-concern.org/help/factsheets/fs_thrush.html
Try not to fret over this.xx:hugs:
Thanks Debs, I am just worrying cause its been three weeks now and I am so scared it is a sign there is something else wrong. I know I am being irrational though, and the most likely cause is because I had a bubble bath last night and it has irritated things.
Going to lay off the bubble baths 'til it is totally gone, have been wearing looser clothes (I wear thick tights nearly every day so I don't think that helps, was wearing leggings to bed too!) so I need to let a bit more air at the area so to speak lol :roflmao:
I am seeing the Dr tomorrow anyway for a review of my medication (been a month since I went onto anxiety meds) so I am going to ask her to examine me and do a swab just to make sure I don't have a kind of thrush that needs a different sort of treatment. However, the Nystaform cream WAS doing the trick 'til I had my bubble bath lol.
Really missing having sex (sorry if that's TMI) though which is annoying :scared15: lol. I know I need to not do it though 'til the soreness has gone.
I guess what is bothering me most though is the fear and panic I get with pretty much EVERY physical symptom. I recognise it is not normal, but I am just so tired of thinking every tiny thing is down to some sort of life threatening illness. I know I need to distract myself, but it is so hard to let go of the fears I have :weep:
Thanks again x:bighug1:
No worries!
It takes a fair while for bad thrush to calm down, and being absolutely RELIGIOUS about applying the cream, several times a day. Another thing that I find really helps knock it on the head is using the pessary treatment as well as the cream, so treating it both internally and externally. Canestan do this over the counter with the cream, as a pack, but of course - like most women's intimate, medicinal products - it isn't cheap. We are so ripped off! (Grrr :mad:) Mind you, it sounds as if the cream you have is doing the trick.
I know it must be hard not being intimate with your other half. With anxiety, sex is both comforting and relieving, but the dreaded thrush will not be helped, sadly...plus the action (ahem, as it were) of sexual activity may really make you very sore. :wacko:
I think maybe your worries are really being fueled by the anxiety, though I know you don't need me to suggest that, hun. Do also bear in mind that you haven't been on the meds very long yet. A month in is still not long. It can take a month and longer to really feel the full benefit of them, and before this happens the anxiety does heighten.
It is hard to rid yourself of fear like this, with anxiety. It is like a constant niggle in the mind, and can be very hard to shake off. Over the years with GAD, I have self-diagnosed every serious illness under the sun, but (touch wood) nothing has ever come to anything, and I always end up coming back to the same culprit - flaming anxiety. xxx:winks:
snowflake293
11-01-15, 11:55
Thanks Debs :)
The cream I have says to apply twice a day but I have used to more often and put a load of it on before bed and that seems to be working :) I did use a pessary just before Christmas and it eased off for a few days then came back! I do wonder whether I have a different kind of thrush resistant to creams so I will ask the Dr tomorrow.
Yeah definitely going to leave off the sex, I do find it very comforting though when my anxiety is bad. My partner is very affectionate and I love being physically close with him, but cuddles are enough for the time being lol :D
I absolutely think my fears are fuelled by anxiety, but I am struggling to relax and get rid of the fear. I know it will come in time though and I have to give the meds a chance. It just feels ridiculous to be getting so OBSESSED over my sore ladybits lol! If someone told me a few years ago how upset I'd be over this I'd have laughed at them. HA is no laughing matter though, as we know :(
Thank you so much for listening, and for all your advice :) x
It's not ridiculous at all. It is just high anxiety causing it.
Believe me when I say I have been where you are now, and on several occasions. I never thought I was particularly health anxious, but I have realised lately that I do, albeit not severely. Weird thing is, I was never anxious about my health, or obsessive over symptoms until I became a nurse, and then GAD was the icing on the cake! Instead of being calmed by stuff I learned, it has made me paranoid about symptoms....and it is an absolute curse!!! I think in some ways, it is better to be unaware, but then Dr. Google does NOT help at all with that, as even if you are unsure, you can look it up!
HA is awful as it can really be very disturbing and distressing, but if the underlying anxiety can somehow be calmed down, that helps enormously.xxx:hugs:
snowflake293
11-01-15, 17:12
I wish I was unaware sometimes... I wish I had never started Googling... it's like an addiction. I might get rid of the internet on my phone to stop me Googling when I'm out and about. It seems a bit extreme to do that, but I am desperate.
My poor ladybits are feeling a bit better now lol, just had a shower today and washed with water alone rather than soaking in a tub of bubbles. Been applying the Nystaform religiously and have sworn off sex for a few days so fingers crossed that knocks the thush on the head - what a nightmare, as if I am so upset over thrush of all things?! lol
It is strange with my cause my HA came along when my mom was having cancer treatment and it was also around the time I was getting over an eating disorder... sometimes I feel I have replaced the HA with the eating disorder. It is strange. I feel like I always have to have something there to hurt myself with (before the eating disorder it was cutting!) now I feel I am hurting myself with all this fear of cancer, death and dying...
I experience strange thoughts too about death and killing myself, even tough I have NO intention of doing this whatsoever - but the thoughts really upset me and make me feel guilty. I have told my therapist about this and she has been talking about OCD which sort of makes sense now she has explained it more.
I am confident I will get over this cause I want to get married next year and start trying for a baby soon after and I am damned if I am going to let anything get in my way of happiness. It is just so tough at times when you see everyone around you being so happy and seaming to function 'normally' and I feel like the weirdo in the corner freaking out over thrush lol.
We will all get there though, one way or another! Coming here is a massive help for me - have spoken to so many lovely people, it has really helped.
Thanks xx
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