hitman4hire43
11-01-15, 21:25
Hello everyone , I am a 21 year old guy and I posted a few days my story and after 6 months of denying it's anxiety and searching for diseases I finally accepted that there is no other thing on this planet that I haven't checked. My dad is a doctor and now when I'm thinking clearly I realized that he tested every single thing possible to test regarding my health . I did all the heart checks possible , stomach , blood , irons/calcium/potasium everywhere I went - You are healthy as a horse and we are not wrong because misdiagnosing you will cost us our live , believe us when we tell you YOU are in no danger.
OK. But the problem is that my father tries to help and I've been to one therapist for 4 weeks and didn't solve much . They all think and try to convince me I have a deep thing hidden inside that is causing this . But I try to tell them that everything started suddenly and got worse and within a week I had CONSTANT physical symptoms that got worse with physical activity. I told them , that makes no sense , I am only terrified of the physical symptoms , that is what fuels my anxiety , I was the kind of guy who visited london by himself and back then I really had a heart problem ( not life threatning but still) and had no problem in going by myself or anything . I had a supraventricular tachycardia , and when it fired , I just sat down , massaged my vagus nerve and it stopped . I even got rid of that and the doc told me there isn't anything else there , and by the looks of my heart I could have lived with it with no problem , but my dad made sure and paid the 3000$ catheter ablation .
But 5 months ago I started having unexplained physical symptoms that where worse and worse . 80-90 heart rate while lying on my back , up to 180 in some cases when I got up and started to walk . Again blood pressure and oxygen saturation always fine . PAlpitations , severe , I admit now that one time i had this awareness of every heartbeat and my body was really shaking each time at they just stopped and I thought I went into cardiac arrest . And for a long time I had sheer terror of the palpitations . I did a stress test , went up to 200 running and the doc told me I didn't have A single Pvc or pac . I have sinus arrhythmia and when i am under 90 beats per minute it's annoying , its like : breathe in , beat beat beat breathe out ...pause BUMP beat beat
and I finally managed to stop getting scared by it . But i have others , sudden ringing in ears like someone shot a gun at my ear , a sensation like im loosing balance when I walk , dunno like I can't find my center of gravity , sweating , breathlessness ( I tested the breathlessness and figured I was hyperventilating) but not chronically . And I managed to do some progress . Now if I don't have symptoms and just stand in my chair I am ok , but the moment I do a movement or start walking by myself especially - lack of breath , Insanely high heart rate , dizziness , chest pains , lump in throat and stomach , the slow heart rate palpitations turn into flutters and I feel like someone is waving with a feather in my thoat and heart and it's Humanly impossible for me to say '''nah , it's just anxiety'' For god sake I'm terrified by plane flights and I have a plane in 3 days and that isn't even scaring me anymore , I'm scared of just falling dead on the street or in the plane because of these god damn symptoms that everyone keeps telling me they are caused by my anxiety , and I try to tell them my anxiety is caused BY THEM , or that I don't have panic attacks like everyone describes them , Last time I had one I was watching tv , felt a tump , like my heart stopped , a strange feeling in my gut , my ears popped, blurry vision , and the adrenaline itself started to course through my veins like ice , The fear Itself came after the symptoms appeared because I don't have any other fear EXCEPT the one about the symptoms , and I can't seem to get over this crap , it's like I try to say to myself : u aren't real ! symptoms : eeeh... nope you are just an idiot , we are here as you can feel it and we are as real as we can be , if you keep ignoring us you will end up dead on the street from sudden cardiac arrest or something like that I don't know guys , did u ever have an anxiety like I do ? IT's like fearing the physical part of anxiety that never goes away , never . Even after a xanax or a beer I still have SOMETHING there , like the ringing in ears or something . palpitations are the worst but they seem to go away sometimes . Is this normal anxiety or should I still start a crusade in finding the unknown alien disease that affects me ? :))
Last thing : I am on xanax atm ,only taking them when I feel really bat but honestly they are crap because they act for 1-2-3 hours then i'm back at that state again , and regarding propranolol or other beta blockers , well I had a slightly high heart rate my whole life and who knows if I had it the same as now , but when I take them sometimes my palpitations aren't gone and I admit walking on the street with only 100 bpm is way better than 140+ but it gets me to under 60 beats per minute when I stand on the chair .
OK. But the problem is that my father tries to help and I've been to one therapist for 4 weeks and didn't solve much . They all think and try to convince me I have a deep thing hidden inside that is causing this . But I try to tell them that everything started suddenly and got worse and within a week I had CONSTANT physical symptoms that got worse with physical activity. I told them , that makes no sense , I am only terrified of the physical symptoms , that is what fuels my anxiety , I was the kind of guy who visited london by himself and back then I really had a heart problem ( not life threatning but still) and had no problem in going by myself or anything . I had a supraventricular tachycardia , and when it fired , I just sat down , massaged my vagus nerve and it stopped . I even got rid of that and the doc told me there isn't anything else there , and by the looks of my heart I could have lived with it with no problem , but my dad made sure and paid the 3000$ catheter ablation .
But 5 months ago I started having unexplained physical symptoms that where worse and worse . 80-90 heart rate while lying on my back , up to 180 in some cases when I got up and started to walk . Again blood pressure and oxygen saturation always fine . PAlpitations , severe , I admit now that one time i had this awareness of every heartbeat and my body was really shaking each time at they just stopped and I thought I went into cardiac arrest . And for a long time I had sheer terror of the palpitations . I did a stress test , went up to 200 running and the doc told me I didn't have A single Pvc or pac . I have sinus arrhythmia and when i am under 90 beats per minute it's annoying , its like : breathe in , beat beat beat breathe out ...pause BUMP beat beat
and I finally managed to stop getting scared by it . But i have others , sudden ringing in ears like someone shot a gun at my ear , a sensation like im loosing balance when I walk , dunno like I can't find my center of gravity , sweating , breathlessness ( I tested the breathlessness and figured I was hyperventilating) but not chronically . And I managed to do some progress . Now if I don't have symptoms and just stand in my chair I am ok , but the moment I do a movement or start walking by myself especially - lack of breath , Insanely high heart rate , dizziness , chest pains , lump in throat and stomach , the slow heart rate palpitations turn into flutters and I feel like someone is waving with a feather in my thoat and heart and it's Humanly impossible for me to say '''nah , it's just anxiety'' For god sake I'm terrified by plane flights and I have a plane in 3 days and that isn't even scaring me anymore , I'm scared of just falling dead on the street or in the plane because of these god damn symptoms that everyone keeps telling me they are caused by my anxiety , and I try to tell them my anxiety is caused BY THEM , or that I don't have panic attacks like everyone describes them , Last time I had one I was watching tv , felt a tump , like my heart stopped , a strange feeling in my gut , my ears popped, blurry vision , and the adrenaline itself started to course through my veins like ice , The fear Itself came after the symptoms appeared because I don't have any other fear EXCEPT the one about the symptoms , and I can't seem to get over this crap , it's like I try to say to myself : u aren't real ! symptoms : eeeh... nope you are just an idiot , we are here as you can feel it and we are as real as we can be , if you keep ignoring us you will end up dead on the street from sudden cardiac arrest or something like that I don't know guys , did u ever have an anxiety like I do ? IT's like fearing the physical part of anxiety that never goes away , never . Even after a xanax or a beer I still have SOMETHING there , like the ringing in ears or something . palpitations are the worst but they seem to go away sometimes . Is this normal anxiety or should I still start a crusade in finding the unknown alien disease that affects me ? :))
Last thing : I am on xanax atm ,only taking them when I feel really bat but honestly they are crap because they act for 1-2-3 hours then i'm back at that state again , and regarding propranolol or other beta blockers , well I had a slightly high heart rate my whole life and who knows if I had it the same as now , but when I take them sometimes my palpitations aren't gone and I admit walking on the street with only 100 bpm is way better than 140+ but it gets me to under 60 beats per minute when I stand on the chair .