hi..but a bit low

[dancer58]

Hi I'm Dancer
I have complex PTSD and this includes depression anxiety social isolation /phobia nightmares flashbacks dissociation panic attacks- the whole caboodle.
I'm an old hippy and graduate but find it really hard to say I need help when I hit really bad patches.
Much as I'm terrified of the world in general, I kinda would like some interaction cos I'm lonely so I'm trying this approach now. Maybe the distance of typing will help. With a try. Has it helped anyone else I wonder?
I'm at an all time low at present. Flashbacks are really horrible and nhs support hasn't caught up with my needs yet. Don't wanna moan or offload- just feel less isolated.
I'm off to read posts now. Catch ya later :shades:

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya dancer58 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[lior]

Welcome! It does help people to be on here. There are people that use this site on and off for years, like me :)

[Toynova63]

Welcome Dancer!
Even if you don't interact I think reading the posts help you realize that you're not alone. And I think the idea that this is anonymous is helpful to open up a little more.

:) Mary

[dancer58]

Hi and thank you guys for taking the time out to read and reply. Already I feel a little less isolated; it definitely helps to know I'm not the only one- tho frankly if I was the only person in the world felt this crap- I reckon that wouldn't be a bad thing.
I've just got back from my daily 3hr+ walking... today was awful. I cried round most of it and nearly ran the last bit home. Usually it's my solace; today it was filled with new nightmare flashbacks I've not seen before. It's depressing that I was under the impression I'd unearthed all the heavy stuff but 6mths on and there's more. Guess it's not a wonder I'm so depressed anxious panicky and emotionally all over the place.
Yes I've been reading other posts and when I'm less confused I'll maybe have confidence to chip in; one mentioned scratching skin during anxiety attacks. The back of my hands are scarred and pitted from this exact thing- and I caught myself doing it again only yesterday after managing to curb it for months. I no longer feel totally stupid- I realise it's probably just a natural coping mechanism and will stop when I don't need it (I hope).
I'm glad I found this site; I've dropped into others but not felt comfortable there. I don't feel invisible here.
Thank you for making me welcome I'll try to be an asset not an ass.
Dancer58

[Toynova63]

I'm sorry to hear your walk turned bad for you...I find walking really helps my anxiety. I'm a worrier, mostly a health related worrier. Every little ache or pain causes me to jump to horrific conclusions of what could be wrong with me. It overwhelms me often and I have to force myself to step away from the computer so I won't keep googling the same thing over & over again.
Mary

[Jomo]

Hey there. Pleased to read you're feeling a little less isolated here. Like you I do the scratching thing, but on my neck, i look like i have an enormous love bite, i just dint realise Im doing it until it gets sore. As you said, it must be some kind of coping mechanism but wish it wasnt quite so self destructive. I find though, coming on here when things are bad really helps. Somewhere to write out your own problems (I find that quiet thereputic, like unloading) and somewhere to forget your head and focus on other people. I hope you find something similar here :)

[lusus]

hey.
skin scratching, wow thats the first time ive actually heard people admit they do it too- im new on here too.
it is quite frankly diabolical how the NHS can take sooooo long. ive been on the referral list for councilling for months and im pretty sure the doc has *no idea* how serious what im going through is and there is really not much i can do but sit and wait.
glad to hear youve made the brave step to be on here and be less isolated. ive been here a couple of hours and already can feel an inkling of strength from the shared experiences- yes its crap so many people suffer but it certainly helps to not be isolated!