New Job

[lucilleheather]

Hey guys,
I'm new to this, so i'm not too sure where to post it.

Ever since I was really little, I have always struggled with changes in my routine, I get panic attacks, spend the entire time in tears.
However, I have noticed it more since graduating and beginning work in different jobs.

Since 2014 I have started in five different jobs, lasted about 3 days and then quit. The two jobs since graduating that I have stayed in for over 6 months were both temporary work, which meant I was unable to stay there due to uncertainty of my future.

Last week (6th January) I started at a new job, its much more money than my temp job that I had, and its permanent. However, Ive spent every day before, during, and after work crying, not eating, feeling light headed, and sick. All I can keep thinking about it how much I loved my last job, and how I regret leaving it. Missing the people I work with is a big aspect of it.

Any tips to help me get through each day? And is anyone else going through the same situation?

[Annie0904]

Starting a new job is not easy for even the most confident person for anxious people so a nightmare. Try to stick it out a bit longer and see if it gets easier as you settle into the routine more. Try to visualise yourself enjoying the job and happy with your colleagues. Is there any aspect of it that is making it difficult for you or is it general anxiety about a new situation?
:hugs::hugs:

[lucilleheather]

Hey, thanks for the reply!

I think its just a general anxiety of the new situation. The role and work environment is completely different to my last job which makes it harder. In my last roles I was known as the bubbly confident person, and in this new role I don't feel myself at all. I feel miserable, but always try to brush it to the side when Im at work as I don't want my new colleagues to see me upset. When I come home im just as unsociable and hide away in my room away from the rest of my family. I feel though, that my parents don't understand these feelings and just brush it off to one side with saying "oh you'll be fine."

[Annie0904]

People who haven't experienced anxiety don't know how bad it is. Try to get to know your new colleagues and it may help you settle in better.

[pisco]

Hi there,

I get very anxious when starting news jobs too. For me, it's a familiarity thing - everything feels so odd and different that it makes me feel very at sea. I've also had the thing where I'm unable to eat and being sick in the mornings in dread etc.

I have to say that I've personally found that sticking with it really does make things better. I think it's important to remember that this isn't just your anxiety making things more difficult - it's odd for everyone else in the office to get used to you as a new person as well, so it feels really weird when you're the new person in the job.

It will come in time, I promise. If you can hang on in there, there will likely be a time when this job becomes just as familiar as your old one. By all means get yourself out of there if you're being treated badly or the workload is unmanageable or you hate the role etc, but if you think it's mainly about you feeling panicky and anxious, I'd suggest trying to stick it out.

Here's what works for me when I start a new job and have similar feelings of dread and anxiety:

1) Play the part. You say you had a reputation in your last job as a bubbly, confident person. That person hasn't gone away: she's just hiding for a bit because you're scared. Smile at your colleagues, say hi, do the usual (which I'm sure you're doing anyway) - you don't have to be best friends with them yet. You just have to go through the motions.
2) Do you have a phone signal at your desk? I find having my smart phone with me gives me a sense of control and escape. Maybe have some music you can listen to on it or books you can read, some 5 minute meditations you can do at lunchtime or some stupid, quick time-killer games you can play if you feel yourself getting overwhelmed. Check the BBC website occasionally etc. I realise that you're probably wanting to be seen to be working while at work, but knowing that you have some little 2 minute distractions lined up can give you a bit of headspace from work.
3) Try and graze at your desk if you can. I also find my anxiety difficult in the mornings and struggle to eat. Maybe you can take a packet of oatcakes in or something similar and gradually work through them in the day while work's distracting you?
4) See if you can't get yourself a lunchtime walk. It can give you a real sense of perspective sometimes and, even if you feel like you're trudging round in the cold for no reason, know it's still doing you good long term. Plus it helps break the day up. When I started my current role I felt really lonely and unwelcome, so I'd go for half hour a walk at 2pm, knowing I only had a couple of hours left upon my return. It was like my little victory against the office!*
5) I find mindless TV distractions help in the evenings. If you've got back from work, you deserve a treat and to not be wrestling with how you feel every second. I have the Netflix app on my phone, just so I can catch some stupid TV show that will take me out of my situation for a bit.

Finally, I think your parents are absolutely right. I don't think it helps to dismiss your panic as 'oh, stop worrying' (which it sounds like they may be doing) but, fundamentally, they do have a good point in that there's nothing wrong with you as a human being. Like me, you've adopted a funny way of trying to cope with change and threat and, like me, you might find it helpful to say 'ok, this is a coping mechanism my body is trying to help me with and it's not working but IT CAN BE CHANGED.' I promise you: this panicky feeling is not 'you' - it's a misguided physical reaction to a situation and you can absolutely get through it.

* I should point out that, when I started this job, I was in an office where I felt I was an imposition. Meetings happened in whispers behind my back and I just had no idea how to handle it. Imagine my surprise that I'm now greeted by my old office roomies with smiles and friendliness. I've stuck in the job for 5 years now and endured three further office moves and, you know what, it's actually quite a nice gig.