Horrible health anxiety

[anbeq14]

I'm 27 and a mother of two. I've dealt with health anxiety since I was 10 and have a terrible fear of dying, becoming a mom has worsened that fear. December 2013 I went through a series of major anxiety attacks. Crazy heart palpitations, spikes in my Bp, and increased heart rate. I was put on Paxil but had crazy side effects and quit taking them. February 2014 I was doing my makeup & realized my upper right eyelid was twitching non stop (I could only occassionally feel it) this was non stop for two months. I went to the eye dr and age did a thorough exam. She said my eyes were a bit dry but other than that perfect eye health. I calmed down some. A month later I found out I was pregnant and shortly after I developed whooshing tinnitus in my left ear. My ears felt clogged and my left ear would pop often. I went to two different drs..one said sinus infection after only looking in my ear, have me meds and sent me home (they didn't work) the other dr said probably pregnancy related due to increased blood flow or possibly Eustachian tube dysfunction. About two weeks later the tinnitus went away for almost two months. When it came back it was louder than before and drove me crazy I started getting awful tension headaches everyday and had to pull my hair to get any relief from the pressure. I finally googled tinnitus causes (TERRIBLE IDEA) to find brain tumor articles. These articles also mentioned twitching. (Which I still had on and off still in the right eyelid) I freaked out. Within days I was seeing stars, feeling dizzy, and experiencing blurred vision. I noticed everything with my body that seemed slightly "off."

I had my baby girl November 18, 2014. In the hospital I got awful anxiety. I kept feeling dizzy and sick and I was extremely exhausted. I came home and my tinnitus was still full force with occassional twitching and tension headaches almost daily. One night after a miserable day with brain tumor HA I googled brain tumor symptoms in attempt to make myself feel better (so stupid). This only made everything worse. I called the next day and was referred to an ENT. On January 8 my tinnitus subsided and as of today has not returned but I still get tension headaches almost daily, zaps of pain in my scalp, weird cloudy vision in both eyes at random times. I do have a floater in my left eye that has been there since before I was pregnant and at night I see occassional flashes of light in the corner of my left eye. Most of my symptoms are left sided which scares me. The ENT gave me a hearing test which came back perfect and said if I had anything worrisome one ear would have hearing issues. I went back to the eye dr and that was perfect as well. Within the past week I feel the left side of my body is weak. My fingers on my left hand seem to not move correctly at times and my left leg feels weird. I'm so sick of feeling this way. I have knots all over my back from tension and my shoulders and neck hurts. I'm so worried I have a brain tumor or ms or something awful. I can't see a nuero without a referral due to my insurance and my dr will not refer me because he knows my past with HA. Anybody have these symptoms? Can anxiety cause left side symptoms only? Can my crazy mind create these symptoms? I have two kids to care for and I can't spend my days googling I'm going crazyyy!

[Starman]

All what you describe are symptoms of anxiety. You DONT have a brain tumor. :lac:

[anbeq14]

Thank you Starman, I sure hope you're right. I haven't read that anxiety can cause one sided symptoms and I'm a little worried. I have noticed that my vision seems to get cloudy in my right eye when I'm laying down which sent me into a panic because I automatically related it to pressure on my head causing it. Ugh anxiety sucks so bad.

[Justme1970]

Hiya, sounds like migraines to me

[anbeq14]

I thought it was migraines too but the vision issues don't happen with the headaches and the headaches are only in the back of my head. The aren't unbearable either and I don't have nausea or light sensitivity.

[mummato2]

Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl xx

I too have health anxiety and it became almost unbearable once I become a mother.

The intense fear of what would happen to them should something happen to me became horrible.

It sounds like the anxiety is causing you to have tension headaches (I get these from stress and anxiety as well). The visual disturbances and one sided symptoms can very well be caused by anxiety. Here's why.

1) You have a sensation that registers an interest in your brain (thank anxiety for making you hypersensitive to sensations around your body) so you focus on that "symptom"

2) Sure enough if you focus for enough time you'll feel other things on that side of your body. Try to focus on your left hand for 20 minutes and nothing else. What can you feel?

3) You are now zeroed in on these symptoms and you add another layer to your arsenal - Dr Google. He has now instructed you what else to "watch out" for and your brain (still on overdrive) is flashing panic lights on everything you are feeling.

4) Add physical anxiety symptoms because of a nervous system that is being ramped up for disaster - and you end up with symptoms on one side of your body because of anxiety.

The best thing that you can do - you've done. You had what you perceived as being "symptoms". You went to the Dr and got checked by an ENT and eye Dr (very qualified to know what a brain tumor presents like) and they have given you the all clear.

From here you need to accept that what you are experiencing is because of your anxiety.

Hop back on google (please though, fire Dr Google) and search for the "Centre for Clinical Intervention" (it's an aussie site) and on the left hand side you should see a Health Anxiety booklet that has a dozen or so modules of CBT which is specific for health anxiety.

Before you book another appointment for a Dr - do yourself a favour and work through the modules. You might just surprise yourself :)

[anbeq14]

Wow, thank you so much Mumato2! That was extremely helpful and it's nice to feel like someone understands! I will definitely go look that site up. Today was a little better for me but tonight I started feeling panicky again and I'm experiencing a cold sensation in my head. I'm so tired of health anxiety but I really do not want to be on pills to control it. Thank you so much for taking your time to reply! So selfless! Xoxo