abm0611
13-01-15, 17:34
I have been a long time lurker on this website and it has helped me tremendously. I wanted to post here as I have thought in the past few months I had every cancer under the sun. Granted, a lot of my symptoms were real but I always jumped straight to worst case scenario where I would be diagnosed with a terminal illness. Warning this is going to be LONG!
I have thought I had a brain tumor due to tension headaches daily. Then my father went into the ICU with a giant brain aneurysm and my health anxiety skyrocketed. I was running a fever daily while he was undergoing operations to coil and prevent his aneurysm to rupture. My IBS was flaring up like mad and I wasn't sleeping and of course I was convinced I either had a brain tumor or aneurysm. It got so bad I went to the ER one night in hospital and they admitted me and ran an MRI with MRA contrast. Turns out my brain is just fine.
After this I went full fledged panic mode. I then wondered if I had bowel cancer as my bowels weren't going back to normal. I was having stomach cramping and thought I was having appendicitis too. I have had countless blood tests ran to rule out leukemia, which I was SURE i had! I have thought I had lymphoma because of ONE shotty node in my neck which has never grown or become hard. My bloods are always perfect as are my abdominal exams.
I then thought I had ovarian cancer as I was having pains down under and had a pelvic exam and ultrasound. I did find out I had adenomyosis which was causing pain but it is a benign condition of the uterus. I also though I had breast cancer to which I found out I have fibrocystic breasts and nothing to worry about.
I have had many EKG ran for my heart racing and palps as well as holter monitors. I had a chest Xray which showed a perfect heart and lungs. I did find out I have sinus tachycardia and am now on beta-blockers, but again a benign condition. I even started obsessing that I may have melanoma and went to the derm who took three moles off, which all came back benign.
And most recently I thought I had tongue cancer of all things. I am only 22 and don't smoke or drink. I am a teeth grinder and my dentist said I had two white spots on both sides of my tongue and he suspected it was from that but referred me to an oral surgeon once I told him my history of health anxiety. For the last week I spent hours surfing google and had meltdowns and envisioned my tongue being cut off and going through chemo. I was convinced!
Well today was my oral surgeon appt and he pulled my tongue out and said "oh, that is perfectly normal. You have it on both sides and it is just how your tongue is." He explained that a mouthguard was a good idea but that my tongue may just always have these tiny lines on the edges due to anxiety. He pushed all around my tongue and felt no masses and the skin on the edges was perfectly smooth and normal. He felt all around my mouth and praised me on how healthy it all looked. He then explained to me how rare it would be for someone my age and in my health to develop cancer of the mouth much less tongue cancer. He felt so bad that I had fretted for a whole week over it as he said it was the least alarming tongue he had seen as a referral and said dentists tend to overreact to cover their butt.
I left this morning and almost wanted to cry out in joy or in anger. I feel depressed for some reason and can't figure out why. I feel like I have ruined months of my life with this crap and my husband and family are DONE with it. I am young and the chances of me getting any of these cancers are slim. Yet I always leave the doctors on a high only to crash an hour later and feel depressed. Sorry this is SO long but I just had to tell my story and share with others that may have the same issues as me. And I also want to know some advice on how to believe doctors and not question them all the time?? I mean I am truly exhausted from this and feel so run down all the time due to my health anxiety. I am NOT dying and I have a future that I NEED to enjoy. Help!! :shrug:
I have thought I had a brain tumor due to tension headaches daily. Then my father went into the ICU with a giant brain aneurysm and my health anxiety skyrocketed. I was running a fever daily while he was undergoing operations to coil and prevent his aneurysm to rupture. My IBS was flaring up like mad and I wasn't sleeping and of course I was convinced I either had a brain tumor or aneurysm. It got so bad I went to the ER one night in hospital and they admitted me and ran an MRI with MRA contrast. Turns out my brain is just fine.
After this I went full fledged panic mode. I then wondered if I had bowel cancer as my bowels weren't going back to normal. I was having stomach cramping and thought I was having appendicitis too. I have had countless blood tests ran to rule out leukemia, which I was SURE i had! I have thought I had lymphoma because of ONE shotty node in my neck which has never grown or become hard. My bloods are always perfect as are my abdominal exams.
I then thought I had ovarian cancer as I was having pains down under and had a pelvic exam and ultrasound. I did find out I had adenomyosis which was causing pain but it is a benign condition of the uterus. I also though I had breast cancer to which I found out I have fibrocystic breasts and nothing to worry about.
I have had many EKG ran for my heart racing and palps as well as holter monitors. I had a chest Xray which showed a perfect heart and lungs. I did find out I have sinus tachycardia and am now on beta-blockers, but again a benign condition. I even started obsessing that I may have melanoma and went to the derm who took three moles off, which all came back benign.
And most recently I thought I had tongue cancer of all things. I am only 22 and don't smoke or drink. I am a teeth grinder and my dentist said I had two white spots on both sides of my tongue and he suspected it was from that but referred me to an oral surgeon once I told him my history of health anxiety. For the last week I spent hours surfing google and had meltdowns and envisioned my tongue being cut off and going through chemo. I was convinced!
Well today was my oral surgeon appt and he pulled my tongue out and said "oh, that is perfectly normal. You have it on both sides and it is just how your tongue is." He explained that a mouthguard was a good idea but that my tongue may just always have these tiny lines on the edges due to anxiety. He pushed all around my tongue and felt no masses and the skin on the edges was perfectly smooth and normal. He felt all around my mouth and praised me on how healthy it all looked. He then explained to me how rare it would be for someone my age and in my health to develop cancer of the mouth much less tongue cancer. He felt so bad that I had fretted for a whole week over it as he said it was the least alarming tongue he had seen as a referral and said dentists tend to overreact to cover their butt.
I left this morning and almost wanted to cry out in joy or in anger. I feel depressed for some reason and can't figure out why. I feel like I have ruined months of my life with this crap and my husband and family are DONE with it. I am young and the chances of me getting any of these cancers are slim. Yet I always leave the doctors on a high only to crash an hour later and feel depressed. Sorry this is SO long but I just had to tell my story and share with others that may have the same issues as me. And I also want to know some advice on how to believe doctors and not question them all the time?? I mean I am truly exhausted from this and feel so run down all the time due to my health anxiety. I am NOT dying and I have a future that I NEED to enjoy. Help!! :shrug: