pisco
14-01-15, 11:15
Hi everyone,
I'm new here and I'd really appreciate some help. My boyfriend and I have had an offer accepted on a house and I'm constantly anxious about it and having regular panic attacks. More than anything I'm scared because buying a place will mean moving out of my parents' house and becoming more self reliant - I just don't feel that I have the resources to do it.
I realise I'm in a privileged position and I'm very ashamed of my reaction, not least because there is such a stigma to being 33 and still living at home. I did move out briefly (1.5 years) to go to university but had an abusive boyfriend who isolated me: I had no friends and couldn't cope. I ended up fleeing back home to my parents and commuting to university and making some really good friends.
I recognise I've probably developed some sort of separation anxiety focussed on my parents now. My mum has had cancer treatment in the past few years and I'm stupidly scared of something happening to her. I've also, foolishly and inadvertently, isolated myself this time: I'm so ashamed of my living situation and the reaction I get when people find out how childish I am that I've cut myself off from people so they don't find out. My older sister has been very mocking of me in an attempt to force me to move out, but I fear that my feelings of failure are adding to my stress now. My boyfriend is brilliant and very understanding but I'm conscious that he wants us to have our own space - and, while I want that in theory, my negative physical reaction to this opportunity is absolutely overwhelming.
Please help. Has anyone got through something similar?
I'm new here and I'd really appreciate some help. My boyfriend and I have had an offer accepted on a house and I'm constantly anxious about it and having regular panic attacks. More than anything I'm scared because buying a place will mean moving out of my parents' house and becoming more self reliant - I just don't feel that I have the resources to do it.
I realise I'm in a privileged position and I'm very ashamed of my reaction, not least because there is such a stigma to being 33 and still living at home. I did move out briefly (1.5 years) to go to university but had an abusive boyfriend who isolated me: I had no friends and couldn't cope. I ended up fleeing back home to my parents and commuting to university and making some really good friends.
I recognise I've probably developed some sort of separation anxiety focussed on my parents now. My mum has had cancer treatment in the past few years and I'm stupidly scared of something happening to her. I've also, foolishly and inadvertently, isolated myself this time: I'm so ashamed of my living situation and the reaction I get when people find out how childish I am that I've cut myself off from people so they don't find out. My older sister has been very mocking of me in an attempt to force me to move out, but I fear that my feelings of failure are adding to my stress now. My boyfriend is brilliant and very understanding but I'm conscious that he wants us to have our own space - and, while I want that in theory, my negative physical reaction to this opportunity is absolutely overwhelming.
Please help. Has anyone got through something similar?