my disastrous work situation

[davidos-UK]

So, bit of background, took a new job a few months ago, big commute and lots of stress. Been feeling anxious/depressed think job is key part.

Key symptoms are social withdrawal, lack of sleep, pains, and physical symptoms such as a cold that has not shifted in over a month now. I'm sniffling with a sore throat as I write this.

Handed notice in today, no job to go to but gave the one month they require. Anyway they basically are quilt tripping me about it being a busy period coming up (true) and want me to stay until the end of March. I do kind of feel bad for leaving them in it, but can't go on like this really.

So tomorrow I have a meeting with the intense head of department to talk about it. Don't really know what to do, feel I have marked card as trouble maker.

Also, I have not been to see my GP about this...I'm really thinking I should now as my mind is just whizzing away at a million miles an hour constantly.

[JMA]

It's a shame you cannot see your GP before your meeting tomorrow. As they would hopefully be able to advise how to extricate yourself from the current situation, and possibly even sort you out a letter to give to HR to explain your situation.

As things are, don't worry about being marked as a trouble maker. As you know this is not the case. It could be a matter of coming clean with your boss tomorrow, and explain your issues. You never know, sometimes the most outwardly harsh people can be quite understanding.

[davidos-UK]

OK appreciate a bit of advice!

I got signed off on Thursday, after explaining my symptoms to the doc she has signed me off with stress for 2 weeks and said I need to clear my head and see if handing my notice in was a correct decision or one I made because I was depressed.

Anyway I emailed in on Friday and told my work, and heard nothing back. I know this is perhaps a bit cowardly but I couldn't face the phone. I feel incredibly guilty as I know we have a lot of work coming up.

This morning I figured I would phone and left a voice mail but have now heard...nothing back! So I am really stuck on what I need to do. I have tried contacting my email and phone, what else can I do!

[Pineapplepie]

Hi there....are you in a union at all or have a work colleague who you trust and can confide in to help you out?

Trust me you are not alone when it comes to avoiding phone calls. I hate it that my employer like to have a keep in touch conversation every couple of weeks as part of their duty of care, as some stranger who doesn't know me at all asking how I am! If I was ok...I would be there!!

How are you now feeling about resigning? Don't allow pressure to be the deciding factor. Your health comes before busy periods and deadlines. You won't be much use anyway if you can't face it and get signed off again.

I have been off sick for 4 months now and I'm still no where ready to return. I don't even want to go back I don't think.

Has your gp suggested any medication at all?

[MyNameIsTerry]

It seems to me that you have made contact and your manager has not followed it up. If you had called and not let a message then they may say an email alone is not enough but the voicemail should hopefully be enough to justify it for now but I would try again perhaps later to cover yourself.

What do your t&c's or company handbook stipulate about making contact to call in sick?

I was the same with any form of contact, anxiety saps your confidence and you worry about people's perceptions of why you are off, feel you are a burden, etc.

[davidos-UK]

Thanks for the reply pineapple! No I don't really have any friends at work, I have only been there a few months (I had many friends at my last job, just not here). No union.

I think the GP wanted to avoid medication and the being signed off is the 'instead of'. She said I should make an appointment with my actual GP next week and I guess we will discuss meds then if I need them.

I am still a bit in flux about quitting, on the one hand I am worried how a four month stint will look on my CV and might make it harder to get other jobs, especially with being signed off :S

On the other hand the commute/job combination is killing me. I basically am too tired to do anything in the week and spend the weekend recovering, so I feel the quality of my life has dropped off massively. I think taking a local job might be a better option even if it means a drop in salary, shouldn't be too dramatic and will help.

[Pineapplepie]

I fully understand the concern over time off work and how it looks on paper. I guess I will eventually have to face that too if and when I look for something else, however you are suffering from an illness and like any other it needs to be treated.
I had significant time off work some years ago due to my eating disorder and fortunately it didn't stop me from getting other jobs.

I too am thinking along the same lines as you in regards to getting a less stressful job closer to home. It sounds to me like you know it's the path you need to go down already. Sometimes we have to speculate to accumulate :)

Personally I don't think a week off work is a replacement with meds as after that week you have the same to deal with. Saying that I'm not saying that meds are the answer for you either.
I'm on fluoxetine and don't really think it's working so my GP and I are thinking about trying something else. I am also waiting for psychology referals too. Has that been suggested by your gp? Sometimes having someone to talk to really helps