xilvey
16-01-15, 02:13
Hiya my names Hannah and as the title states; I have had anxiety for as long I can remember, mainly based upon a phobia of being sick. I've had bad habits that grew and developed from being afraid of going to school because I didn't want to catch any sickness bugs from other kids, to being scared of eating encase it makes me I'll and generally leaving home encase in publicly humiliate myself by throwing up. When I got to the age of about 11 in struggled through secondary school as I was bullied and had very little friends and I was taken over by depression which I then suffered many yars of self harm and WS I got older, grew into suicide attempts and by the time I was 15 my mum managed to get Mr to a doctor and was submitted to Camus. I was then checked daily for new self harm wounds and on suicide watch and was contacted almost daily to ensure I was feeling OK. After a year of counselling and taking rluoxirine (20-40mg up and down dosage) I was on my way to recovery. The panic attacks became little to never and and I had stopped self harm and my depression subsided and I was happy forma few years. I found some amazing friends, I went out and managed to get a job until recently when a couple months a go I ha a bad turn, I don't know what caused it or if I have any triggers but my anxiety has become so overwhelming I often lose all hope and have thoughts of suicide and self harm although I KNOW these feelings will pass. I recently havupped my dose of citalopram from 10 to 20mg of citalopram after suffering for so long with side effts of fkuoxitine when I first went back on antidepressants but I struggle to leave my house, I have panic attacks almost every othrr hour, luckily, I have amazing for nds who come and see me everyday and keep me going and I have an incredible, patient and supportive boyfriend who lives with me in my mume house but untortunately I am now I employed, I've been kicked out of education and my boyfriend works nights so when I'm awake all night suffering I feel so alone which is why I am so grateful and pleased that I found this site and I hope that I can put some input and help others as well as seek help advice from other members :) :bighug1: