I feel like my anxiety/depression is badly affecting my partner?

[xilvey]

Hiya, my partner lives with me in my mums house and I'll be honest, he is incredibley supportive and very good at handling my panic attacks and helping me through everything but I really feel like I'm dragging him down. He works nights and considering my sleeping pattern is a mess anyway it doesn't affect me other than sometimes I really need him when I up all night feeling like poo.
Thing is when he's sleeping in the day if I wake up panicking and wake him up. I feel soosoguilty when he has Togo to work knackered because I've kept him up and I oft n have breakdown which I can only imagine how emotionally draining that must be for him to see me in such a state. He says he doesn't mind and just wants to be there for me but I really don't want him to gothroughhell just because he's putting up with me! I know he's had arguments with friends and family because he hasn't been able to see them because I've been in such a state. I just don't know what to do, I can only imagine how hard it must be for him. I feel like such a burden and a nuesence sometimes.

[Oosh]

It's not an easy one to solve. If you feel you need his support then you need it.

You could try finding a way to calm yourself down without him. I would always have a writing pad nearby and would calm myself down by writing.
Write down what you'd say to your bf.

"I'm panicking. I feel like this. What exactly am I panicking about ??? Nothing in particular. Or I had this thought that unnerved me. But that's ok. I know it's not true. My anxiety just tries to scare me. This will pass in a minute like it always does. Just relax. Do some deep breath and think of things that relax me and cheer me up. I'll think about our holiday. Might need to do some shopping for clothes. I'm feeling a bit calmer now. These things are just anxiety attacks. They're just adrenalin. It'll pass soon. Maybe I'll do a bit of exercise to clear my system out" etc etc

I've calmed myself down a thousand times like that when I've been in some awful situations and not had anyone to talk to.

It's having an alternative to your bf that would be useful. Look for a helpline you'd be comfortable using. Post on the forum or look for anxiety chat rooms you can use.

[xilvey]

thankyou so much ill have good try :) your reply is very much appreciated

[lior]

Also remember - he is there through choice. You are not responsible for his decisions, or his emotions.

Likewise - he is not responsible for your decisions or emotions. He may be trying to 'make you happy' but it's impossible to wave a magic wand. Some people try to do this and then get frustrated that they can't make their partners happy. That's when the problems really come.

So like Oosh said, it's a really good idea to have alternative places you go to for support, including ways you can support yourself. Writing pads, running, walking, yoga, TV, music, singing, juggling... anything that you can do by yourself to self-soothe is great.

But also, you could talk to more people. I found that when I wasn't out about being depressed, my boyfriend at the time shouldered a lot of my emotions. I hadn't been talking to friends openly, so it was a lot of pressure for him to take, to be the only one who really knew what was going on. If you talk to more people - you find help from more places. That way, no one person will feel the pressure of responsibility over your emotions (except yourself).

[xilvey]

that's true. I have been writing down my emotions lately and it has been helping. Thanks so much for the support guys x