broken

[lukeneal26]

ive not been posting about my self buy trying to help others a bit more but today a lost a man very close to my heart my grandad he has always been there for me and I could do no wrong in his eyes even though I was a shite growing up and watching them turn his machines of today and really had an affect on me and I also question if ive been a good grandson! I loved that man I hope he knows that! I also feel very selfish because im worried about my body still got loose stools and my whole body has ached in arms legs back ext for 3 weeks now! I feel drained my weight has gone up and appetite is pretty much back to normal I think. its been one of the worst days of my life and im trueley in a bad place:weep:

[Mindknot]

So sorry to hear about your granddad Luke, but I'm sure he thought the world of you and knows you love him. :hugs:

It's not selfish to have anxiety, but it will make you a lot happier in the long term if you work to handle it better - like we all on this forum need to do - but for now, you should take the time out to grieve for your granddad, and take it easy.

[lukeneal26]

don't know what to do

[snowflake293]

*big hugs* sorry to hear that hun :( you have had such a tough time with your anxiety lately and it is so sad when you lose a loved one, you are bound to be feeling like everything is on top of you and you don't know what to do. The feelings you are having a normal, I remember when my Nan died I had this wave of guilt come over me wishing that I had seen more of her, been a better granddaughter to her etc... but now I just look back and think of the lovely memories and smile :)

Things will get easier as the days go by. Do you have family around you at the moment who you can talk to and get support from?

Take care

Snowflake x

[MyNameIsTerry]

Very sorry to hear about your grandad.

Things are going to be all over the place right now, your emotions will be a mess and anxiety will be triggered. It's not selfish though, its just how it affects people with the additional issues of anxiety disorders. Feeling guilty for this is also quite normal.

You are questioning everything right now, which is a normal part of the grieving process, but there is something you need to remember - you said he always supported you... doesn't that show you how much you meant to him and how much he loved you? He must have known how much you loved him too for him to do that.

[nicolag84]

Big hugs so sorry for your loss xx

[Ange1]

Sounds like you were there for him and I'm sure that means a lot. Give yourself time to grieve. Feeling guilty is all part of the process. Be kind to yourself and in time you will have many happy memories . Big hugs xxx

[Vida]

I recently lost my grandfather in November. My deepest condolences to you. I sometimes don't know if I cried enough or too much. I don't feel that I've mourned him properly, it's a very hard place to be, I understand .
You will go through a slew of emotions. Just know that this is the grieving process. Be kind to yourself.