mums (or dads) at home :( sorry, moaning

[strawberrie]

hi, i just wanted to have a moan really. my youngest has just started school last term, and i was looking forward to it for ages. That sounds mean, but i was always so tired when she was at home, and when she went to nursery every afternoon, i had 2 hours of peace where i could either get on with stuff, clean the house, or have a sleep.

Well, i thought it would be the same with her being at school all day, but just for longer. I had visions of a spotless house, ironing all done, cooking nice meals in the evening etc. etc.

but none of that has happened because i dont have a reason to do anything, because ive got all day to clean the house, i just dont seem to bother doing it - does anyone else feel like this? i feel like it should be a really easy life being at home, but i just feel like any energy i had before has just been drained out of me.

anyway, im looking for a job, which i hope will be the answer, but i just wanted to get it off my chest and see if theres any other mums or dads who feel like this? (or am i just a lazy cow? [:I][^])

mag

[normalwisdom]

I felt exactly like this strawberrie, being at home alone was part of my problem I think, like you I thought I would have a spotless house and be a "proper little homemaker" but just didn't have the get up and go to do anything. Then of course I beat myself up over it thinking i was sooo lazy (which i probably was:D).

I now work in the morning while my son is at school and, apart from the extra money....which is always good, I now have a life outside of the home and can talk to adults in the day:D, I have also found that I am doing more around the house too, although it still isn't spotless[:I].

Hope this helps

Take care

Steph

[jo61]

Don't be afraid to moan, that's what we're here for!

I know exactly what you mean. Being at home brings all my focus to myself and my problems. I really have to work hard at getting out and about otherwise I'd just loll around all day drinking tea and smoking whilst watching Neighbours and thinking too much tea. It takes some discipline to be a 'homemaker' (that's what housewives are called nowadays!!)

:D

[tam]

hi strawberry i feel exactly the same as you say.i looked forward to the kids starting school andhad all these plans.i actually started with panic and anxiety at the time my kids started school.i wanted everything you say but it didnt work like that.i have had good times recently and started to do a bit of selling for my husbands company and it did make me feel better,i think the more i cleaned and then everyone come home and spoiled it the more stressed i got,where when i go out and come home im more relaxed,so getting out and keeping busy definatly help.love tracy

[eeyorelover]

I felt the same way when my last one went to school!!
I had all these plans - I was going to get organized and clean like a mad woman - lol
I could read a book without her standing there saying, 'Mom.....Mom.....MOM' (HAHA)
But when she started all I wanted to do was lay around and all those things that I was going to do were left undone.
I think part of it was because I put all my time and effort into her every need. Everything was based around her schedule. When she needed me, I was right there and when she was occupied or once in a blue moon when she was taking a nap, I would get a little of this and a little of that done.
I would say to myself that I NEEDED to get up and do SOMETHING - Get something accomplished but really (I thought to myself) what is the point? I'll be here all day by myself. I have plenty of time and nowhere to go!
I think that part of it was a empty nest kind of thing. My baby didn't need me as much as she used to. Being a Mom was what I was. It was the biggest part of my life. I had to find out who I was as a person and THAT is a time consuming and really hard thing to figure out - lol
Part of it too was that I had never had spare time. Didn't really know what to do with it all. It was a shock and it took time to get used to!!!!!
You'll get the hang of it hun!!!
On the bright side, I found that I could get in a bubble bath and shave my legs without a little head pressed at the door needing to pee!!!!!! WHAT A THRILL THAT IS :)
xxx
Sandy

[strawberrie]

hi, thanks for the replies guys :D its so nice to know im not the only one! i think i just figured out that maybe im just not a 'homemaker' kind of person, and i'll just have to accept that.

ive kind of been making excuses for not getting a job because ive been saying to myself, 'but then i wont have time to sort things out at home', but now ive realised that however much time i have, the house will always be messy, so i might as well go out to work and have a messy house than sit at home staring at the mess and feeling guilty.

now ive managed to get that clear in my head, im actually feeling quite excited about getting a job and getting out the house, so fingers crossed, it wont be long [^]

thanks again,
mag

[kimmy]

Yeah i did defiantly!!!! but then it spirraled into a depression almost then onto anxiety and panics. So i pulled my finger out of my arse! even though I worked 3 evenings a week, I did a part-time college course, knew it really but thought it would be fun. Then I got another part-time job 9-3 whilst the kids were at school-------------Now Im in University doing a degree in youth work!!!! panics have gone, i do have anxiety but thats just me worrying my panics will come back!!!!!!!

if you want it Do It and my moto was from my band I brought from here JFDI "just fluffin do it" words are editied of course!